My boyfriend of 9 months 34M Parents 66F and 75M are so judgemental of me 25F
I feel like my boyfriends 35M parents 66F and 75M pick me 25F apart constantly. I want to start off by saying that my boyfriends family and my family are on two completely different income levels. Both his parents are college educated and have done very well for themselves. While I had a very rough upbringing. I also want to say I've done well for myself. I have a BS and I've been working as a scientist for about two years now I make 77k a year and I have a cleaning side hustle that pushes my income up to 85k a year.
I got into a car accident in November that dented my car. my car is still drivable. I am working on my emergency fund so I don't have the spare money to get it fixed. I'm waiting until after my birthday.
His dad 75 keeps bitching to me that I need to go get it fixed. That I need to take better care of my stuff. That I need to wash my car more. That people will think I'm grimmie.
I also do this thing where I bull on the front part of my hair. I can't help it it's an ADHD/PTSD tick issue. They always yell at me about it and point it out.
His mom 67F always bitches about my nails not being done. Or when my hair is messy because I was at work and I have to have my hair up.
I had a situation with my old roommate coming into my house to "get her mail". She was actually just spying on me. She's been reporting to the land lord that it's extremely messy (my old roommate has OCD). And it has been a little messy. I work 6-7 days a fucking week. The land lord had her comeover and clean. There wasn't much to clean in the main house, because I already cleaned it so she cleaned her old room and my bathroom long story short she was pissed that it was messy. Told the land lord. The landlord is now pushing my rent up 600 with less than 2 weeks notice.
I was telling my bF mom this. I told her I've been working 6 to 7 days a week. And that I'm just exhausted when I come home from work. and she said to me that I can't be tired because I'm 25 and when she was 25 she had two little kids (she didn't she had her step daughters who would have been around 11 and 16), and she still painted her nails, wore makeup, did her hair, cooked dinner, worked, and her house was spotless. THIS WOMAN HAS HAD A CLEANING LADY. MY BOYFRIEND CAN'T REMEMBER A Time WHEN SHE HASN'T HAD ONE.
I literally told her flat out you didn't have small kids. You didn't have your kids until you were 32. You had a husband and teenage daughters to help you. Then we argued some more and then I told her I wasn't going to fucking argue with her. Walked away.
They're just really critical and it makes me feel like they don't think I'm good enough for their son. I am good enough. I mean I'm a 26-year-old fucking scientist. I rub his back. Im good to him
My boyfriend's like oh they're just trying to parent you. I'm like chill. If they're going to try and parent me then maybe they should do it all the way. I mean I have student loans. I have a car loan that should have been co-signed for. If they want to be my parents well then maybe they should go all the fucking way. Because right now I'm only getting the disadvantages. It's like well. Maybe if I was raised with some sense of normalcy and stability I wouldn't be the way that I am. I wouldn't be trash in their eyes. But it's like whatever you know.
How the hell can I let this not bother me? I know one of the things that I need to do is just not tell them anything. But even if I don't tell them anything, they'll find something to pick me apart about. So how do I just ignore it?