Is this touching developmentally appropriate?
My 6yo and 3yo boys were taking a bath together last night. My husband was in the bathroom next door giving our 5mo a bath. I was downstairs cleaning up dinner and doing dishes/listening to kids in the tub. Suddenly my husband starts yelling for me to come upstairs and for my 3yo to get out of the tub. My husband states he saw (from behind) my 3yo bending over with his face on my other son’s privates. He did not see exactly what happened.
I took my 3yo aside first and privately asked him if he touched his brother’s peni$. He said yes. I asked if he touched them with his mouth. He said no. I obviously told him he’s not allowed to touch other people’s privates etc. Next I went into the bathroom where my 6yo was and sure enough he was laying on his back, legs spread with an erection. I had him get out of the tub and get dressed, then I asked him about it. He said his brother touched him with his chin, not his mouth or his hands. Again, I don’t know the context or how it happened. He usually cries and freaks out when he gets in trouble but was totally silent this time. I really emphasized that this is not okay, and that he knows better, and that he should not have allowed for his brother to do that and he should have stopped him when he touched him inappropriately.
I know that my 6yo knows this is wrong because at recess last year, a fellow kindergartener flashed his privates to him. My son immediately informed a teacher and we had a long discussion about body safety etc.
My 6yo is not in trouble. I had a good conversation again with both of them about body safety, privately. I do this often. Which I guess is why I’m so surprised this occurred? They hardly ever even take baths together but it was getting late and the baby needed a bath too, so we let them go together. Usually my 6yo showers by himself.
Would this concern you? Is this developmentally appropriate? I called my mom for advice and in typical fashion she freaked the hell out and thinks my kids shouldn’t share a room (we are planning on them sharing a room soon). Please be kind with your responses. Thanks.