different level of sex drive compared to non my boyfriend - help
me (F22) and my boyfriend (M20) of over a year have i would say a pretty good sex life but i am not that sexual of a person and he is which i think builds frustration. i dont think about sex much and never felt that attracted to anyone. i do feel attracted to him and i only want or think about sex around him but he basically always has to initiate. i never really watched porn it makes me uncomfortable but i used to read smut and stuff. he loves giving me head and is very good at it and claims he is a “giver.” it’s really easy for me to finish compared to him and ive probably finished like 3x more than he has. i rarely give him head because it takes him like 30 minutes to finish and my gag reflex is really bad. he also has said before that im not very good at it so i get nervous to do it. ill get on top sometimes but my legs start to hurt so hes always doing most of the work. last night he got mad for the first time that i never give him head or a handjobs and how he wants me to just want to do without him having to ask. he said he was embarrassed by how many times he has pleased me and doesn’t want to do anything intimate for a month because i apparently “suck” that he’s barely finished at all recently. i feel guilty that i don’t want to naturally suck his dick. he does things like purposely lick my cum says dominant things to me but i can’t seem to give that type of energy back. i also don’t like the feeling of doggy it feels degrading having my head in the pillows looking away from him. i know me not being as into some of this stuff makes him feel unattractive and makes me feel like i almost use him to get off. i just wonder if there’s something wrong with me that i don’t crave sex don’t want to naturally suck his dick etc. do other girls feel like this? should i feel bad that i’ve finished so many times for than him and that he puts more effort in sexually? do people actually like sucking dick swallowing being degraded etc or is that just porn’s influence tricking women into liking it? i wasn’t aware that he was that frustrated with me over this and trust he is a good guy and we do have a very loving relationship he was just in a mood.