u/Acceptable-Might9135

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice, or even just to hear from others who have gone through something similar.

I’m 27, have a background in BS in CE/MS in AI, and I am currently trying to make a major career pivot into a high-level technical specialization (specifically looking at AI, machine learning, and cloud infrastructure). A little while ago, I stopped doing flexible side work so I could completely commit full-time to this transition—building a portfolio, mastering complex frameworks, and doing interview prep.

The problem is, my OCD and anxiety have created a massive roadblock, and I am stuck in a frustrating cycle of executive dysfunction.

What my daily life actually looks like right now with OCD:

The honest truth is that the OCD steals hours of my day and drains my mental energy before I can even sit down at my computer. I have severe contamination anxiety, which translates into these exhausting, repetitive hand-washing routines, or washing the dishes in a hyper-specific, rigid way over and over again to avoid splash back onto my clothes.

I also hyper-fixate on the tiniest things. I will get stuck repeatedly inspecting my clothes—like my shirts or joggers—checking them over and over for any little speck of dust, lint, or debris until it finally feels "clean" enough to wear. Or, now I have started to use soapy hands (my hands with soap on them) to run them over part of my clothes that I think have been contaminated in most cases with food.

If anyone or anything interrupts me during one of these washing/cleaning rituals, or if I feel like I didn't do it "perfectly," I get hit with this massive wave of intense distress and irritability. It honestly ruins my entire mood and completely fries my brain.

To avoid all of this I came up with one pant/shirt for dining/bathroom outside my room and another set for my bedroom where I sleep and work but just going from dining/bathroom use to doing the proper cleaning of my hands and safely getting back into my room without touching any other unclean surface or someone has become a real pain of all sorts. Like if I clean my hands and am on my way to room but I feel like I hit my hand/arm on a wall/corner/door frame or god forbid dinner chair/table I would get such horrible anxiety that I would have to rewash my whole hand/arm. Like just tonight because my mom closed the living room light I couldn't see much after cleaning my hands/arms now I didnt feel my hand/arm hitting anything but I am still thinking did my right hand/arm hit the dinner table/chair and I feel like punching a hole in the wall but in the bathroom that only resulted in me hurting my right hand pinky.

Because the daytime feels so chaotic and stressful, by the time night hits, I just want to escape. I fall into this trap where I stay up super late just scrolling on my phone to numb out the anxiety. That obviously wrecks my sleep and eating schedules. I end up waking up late, physically exhausted, and already feeling guilty and behind before the day even starts.

Here is what I’m dealing with:

Severe Lack of Motivation & Task Completion: Even though I deeply want to achieve these career goals, I experience an intense lack of drive when it sits down to actually executing. I start projects or study paths, but finishing them feels like climbing a mountain.

Routine Disruption: I try to build structured daily habits (coding, working out, keeping a schedule), but if one thing goes off track, or if anxiety spikes early in the day, the entire routine collapses.

Frustration and Burnout Cycle: The gap between where I want to be professionally and where I am right now causes a ton of internal frustration. That anxiety leads to avoidance, which leads to guilt, which just feeds back into the OCD.

Because I am currently self-directed (not reporting to a traditional boss at the moment), the lack of external accountability makes it incredibly easy for the OCD-induced executive dysfunction to take over. I know I have the technical capability, but my mental health is severely throttling my productivity and job search efficiency.

My questions for the community:

For those with OCD/severe anxiety who work in tech or self-study, how do you overcome that paralyzing lack of motivation to actually complete tasks?

How do you handle building a routine when OCD constantly tries to disrupt it or make it feel "perfect" before you can start?

Are there specific productivity tools, tracking methods, or mental frameworks that helped you manage the frustration of a career transition without spiraling into avoidance?

Thanks in advance for any insights or shared experiences. I really want to get past this hurdle so I can move forward with my life and career.

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice, or even just to hear from others who have gone through something similar.

I’m 27, have a background in BS in CE/MS in AI, and I am currently trying to make a major career pivot into a high-level technical specialization (specifically looking at AI, machine learning, and cloud infrastructure). A little while ago, I stopped doing flexible side work so I could completely commit full-time to this transition—building a portfolio, mastering complex frameworks, and doing interview prep.

The problem is, my OCD and anxiety have created a massive roadblock, and I am stuck in a frustrating cycle of executive dysfunction.

What my daily life actually looks like right now with OCD:

The honest truth is that the OCD steals hours of my day and drains my mental energy before I can even sit down at my computer. I have severe contamination anxiety, which translates into these exhausting, repetitive hand-washing routines, or washing the dishes in a hyper-specific, rigid way over and over again to avoid splash back onto my clothes.

I also hyper-fixate on the tiniest things. I will get stuck repeatedly inspecting my clothes—like my shirts or joggers—checking them over and over for any little speck of dust, lint, or debris until it finally feels "clean" enough to wear. Or, now I have started to use soapy hands (my hands with soap on them) to run them over part of my clothes that I think have been contaminated in most cases with food.

If anyone or anything interrupts me during one of these washing/cleaning rituals, or if I feel like I didn't do it "perfectly," I get hit with this massive wave of intense distress and irritability. It honestly ruins my entire mood and completely fries my brain.

To avoid all of this I came up with one pant/shirt for dining/bathroom outside my room and another set for my bedroom where I sleep and work but just going from dining/bathroom use to doing the proper cleaning of my hands and safely getting back into my room without touching any other unclean surface or someone has become a real pain of all sorts. Like if I clean my hands and am on my way to room but I feel like I hit my hand/arm on a wall/corner/door frame or god forbid dinner chair/table I would get such horrible anxiety that I would have to rewash my whole hand/arm. Like just tonight because my mom closed the living room light I couldn't see much after cleaning my hands/arms now I didnt feel my hand/arm hitting anything but I am still thinking did my right hand/arm hit the dinner table/chair and I feel like punching a hole in the wall but in the bathroom that only resulted in me hurting my right hand pinky.

Because the daytime feels so chaotic and stressful, by the time night hits, I just want to escape. I fall into this trap where I stay up super late just scrolling on my phone to numb out the anxiety. That obviously wrecks my sleep and eating schedules. I end up waking up late, physically exhausted, and already feeling guilty and behind before the day even starts.

Here is what I’m dealing with:

Severe Lack of Motivation & Task Completion: Even though I deeply want to achieve these career goals, I experience an intense lack of drive when it sits down to actually executing. I start projects or study paths, but finishing them feels like climbing a mountain.

Routine Disruption: I try to build structured daily habits (coding, working out, keeping a schedule), but if one thing goes off track, or if anxiety spikes early in the day, the entire routine collapses.

Frustration and Burnout Cycle: The gap between where I want to be professionally and where I am right now causes a ton of internal frustration. That anxiety leads to avoidance, which leads to guilt, which just feeds back into the OCD.

Because I am currently self-directed (not reporting to a traditional boss at the moment), the lack of external accountability makes it incredibly easy for the OCD-induced executive dysfunction to take over. I know I have the technical capability, but my mental health is severely throttling my productivity and job search efficiency.

My questions for the community:

For those with OCD/severe anxiety who work in tech or self-study, how do you overcome that paralyzing lack of motivation to actually complete tasks?

How do you handle building a routine when OCD constantly tries to disrupt it or make it feel "perfect" before you can start?

Are there specific productivity tools, tracking methods, or mental frameworks that helped you manage the frustration of a career transition without spiraling into avoidance?

Thanks in advance for any insights or shared experiences. I really want to get past this hurdle so I can move forward with my life and career.