r/ContaminationOCD

my (now ex) bf ended an almost 2 year relationship over the fact that my ocd is so bad and he doesn't want to live like this in the future. he mentioned therapy like erp but i said i didn't want to because of how extreme and aggressive it is so i have just been trying to manage on my own. but he is not happy and this is a big reason. how do you move on from this? i feel like im broken and unlovable and wish i was just normal. if i knew it was affecting him to this point i would've started therapy already. even if i work on it now he is decided.

has anyone else ever had this happen, or did anyone find someone that is okay with this part of you?

First of all I’m so sorry if my english is so bad I’m from Europe
It’s been a couple of years since my ocd makes me physically can’t touch money like coins or even jewelry it disgusts me so bad and instantly triggers me and go wash my hands for at least 30 minutes , guess I’ll never be rich 🥲
Thought I was crazy until I learned about ocd

Love how this video describes what we are experiencing .. it’s not just the thoughts it’s the intense emotions

This is not a reassurance-seeking post.

So in November, I handled an old ww2 gauge from a bomber plane (B-24 liberator). I like planes, and it was ten AUD, so I bought it. Sadly for me, I realised that it was painted with radium paint. Now, a lot of these older gauges are well-known to often 'leak' contamination. I was also given a radium-containing toggle switch, which I put in an open-topped plastic bag. Because the museum I purchased the gauge at had no soap in the bathrooms, I could not properly wash my hands there. I bought, prior to going home, a glossy book and parts of my car. Anyhow, fast-forward 10 months and I can't:

Touch the back seat of my car,

Touch the book,

Touch the books sitting next to the 'contaminated' book,

Touch things on my desk, where I put the open plastic bag before stowing it more safely,

Touch my bathroom doorknob, because I touched that before I washed my hands,

Touch the doorknob of my granny flat, where I put the book.

I also can't touch my computer without washing my hands afterwards, because I touched it after touching my charger, which was at my desk.

How do I stop this? I can't keep on going like this, it's taking a toll on myself and my family and has made me borderline suicidal on at least one occasion. Thanks in advance.

TLDR: handled radium, what do I even do now?

TLDR: My new kitten has fleas, has not been introduced to the rest of the home, and has been treated in some form since we brought her home. But I have OCD, and would love to know if my fears are warranted or obsessive! Ty!

Hi, first-time poster, long-time Googler of Reddit answers. Basically, I rescued a kitten three days ago from a random friend of a friend of a friend (~8wks old, half Maine Coon/half unknown) and it wasn't disclosed to us that she has fleas until we got her home. We already scheduled her first vet visit, but we weren't able to get an appointment until Monday.

For context, we (myself, 25F, and my mom) already planned to immediately isolate her in a small guest bathroom upon bringing her home in order to slowly introduce her to our other pets (2 adult, fully indoor cats and 1 dog). She has not been anywhere else in the house since we brought her home but we have been sitting with her and cuddling with her at times.

Immediately, we gave her a flea bath with Wondercide, and then a few hours later with Dawn dish soap. That was 3 days ago.

Yesterday, I applied Advantage II to both the kitten and to our other 2 cats (dog is already on a monthly flea and tick treatment). We've also been combing her and disposing of everything removed in the toilet, and sprayed the room with Vet's Best home spray. Last night, I deep cleaned the room, changed all of the linens, and we've been doing laundry every day multiple times a day (including linens & any clothes we've worn while handling her).

Today, I've noticed significant improvement in the # of fleas I've seen, but have still noticed some dirt and dead fleas on her linens and as I've combed her. My mom and I have both been handling her the entire time, but washing our hands and changing our clothes before sitting on couches/beds/etc.

We have not tried Capstar yet, but aren't opposed to it! Would it be beneficial at this point?

LONG STORY SHORT, we are trying to keep the issue contained to protect ourselves and the other animals. However, I have diagnosed OCD and especially struggle with spiraling, obsessive thoughts about infestations in our home. It may sound crazy, but I can't stop imagining the fleas and eggs spreading everywhere in the time that it takes to get from her room to clean clothes/the laundry room. If you're familiar with OCD, you understand.

I've been trying to educate myself, but I have read a lot of stories of people getting terrible infestations after bringing home flea-ridden babies and it's been impacting me severely. My mom is supportive and understanding of my diagnosis, but I can tell we're both on edge because of my fears. We think we're trying our best, but I'm scared that we've missed something and infestation is inevitable.

I guess I'm just looking for some answers as to whether or not I'm overreacting, or if my fears are warranted. Does anyone have experience with fleas on a cat, or in a household with multiple pets? If so, what else can we do? Are we doing enough to keep everyone safe?

Sorry if this is the wrong sub, but thank you in advance if anyone has any experience, advice, or suggestions!

I've always been afraid of bugs but it never like consumed my life. Now I think about it all the time (what else can I do to prevent it, etc) and its funny bc they say not to indulge in compulsion but washing my car and spraying with peppermint water has actually WORKED. when the compulsion works I'm happy lol and the ocd goes away in that area... anyone else?

My pant touched the toilet seat and I didn't change my clothes and slept on bed

I have OCD, and at the moment I am SO triggered by cleaning the toilet.

This feels really contradictory to me because I also really want to live in a clean and organized environment. The idea of dirty toilet makes me want to die, I almost threw up writing this. I want them SPOTLESS, but the idea of doing is so triggering. I feel like I’m breathing all kind of stuff, I wash myself raw and still feel disgusting. Years ago, I was an au pair and I had no choice but to deal with a clogged toilet. Even with the layers of gloves, the excessive washing and disinfecting , I ended up cutting my thread bracelet and throwing it away because I felt so vile wearing it , even though I’m sure nothing had touched it 😭

I’m not someone who compulsively cleans everything. Quite the opposite: sometimes the thought of cleaning something “dirty”, is so triggering that I avoid it completely.

Another example : my mother had this plastic fork she uses for the cat food. It only touches the cat food, it is only used for the cat food. I make her clean it with a separate sponge. But the idea that it is in the same sink as other things to make me SICK. Just thinking about it I start to feel unwell.

At the same time, clutter and dirt really affect my mental health. When my environment is organized and clean, I feel so much better and I function much better. So I feel stuck in this frustrating paradox where I desperately want a clean environment, but some cleaning tasks are themselves extremely triggering.

I’m wondering if anyone else experiences OCD this way rather than constantly cleaning/avoiding contamination by cleaning. How do you deal with cleaning tasks that trigger your OCD? Did anything help you make cleaning feel more manageable without turning it into another compulsion?
I’d especially love to hear from people who used to struggle with this and found a way to manage it.

TLDR : I’m so triggered by cleaning the things that I desperately want to have clean

Lately, I’ve been feeling like my OCD is genuinely ruining my life. All these rigid rules I’ve created for myself are exhausting, and sometimes I just find myself thinking: “How much longer? How long am I going to have to keep doing this? What am I even fighting against anymore?”

I think mine is probably connected to existential OCD. Recently, even going outside can turn into this whole process of constantly looking for danger or trying to make sure I’m not “too comfortable.”

Basically, one of my biggest fears seems to be that I can’t allow myself to feel too comfortable or safe, because otherwise… you know what I mean. 😭 It’s like my brain has decided that feeling genuinely relaxed is somehow dangerous, and I have to stay alert or follow certain rules to prevent something bad from happening.

And honestly, it’s exhausting. Sometimes I wonder how much of my life is actually being lived and how much of it is just me trying to satisfy OCD.

How does OCD interfere with your life? What kind of rules, rituals, or mental compulsions do you struggle with? And do you ever have that “how long am I going to have to do this?” feeling?

With my OCD, sometimes I suddenly realize there’s still another question or another detail related to my theme that I should - or rather, that I feel like I MUST - ask about or get reassurance about.

And the moment I realize it, I get this horrible sense that I’m running out of time. Like I need to figure it out now, before something bad happens.

I can’t just put it aside and relax, because in the back of my mind there’s this thought: “But you still haven’t asked about this. You still haven’t made sure about this one thing.”

It creates this weird feeling of urgency, almost like there’s some invisible deadline and if I don’t resolve that last question before it passes, something terrible will happen.

Even when I know logically that it makes no sense, my brain keeps treating the unanswered question as some kind of unfinished emergency. It’s really hard to feel safe or relax while knowing there’s still something I haven’t checked, clarified, or gotten reassurance about.

Does anyone else experience this kind of OCD-induced time pressure/urgency?

so i have 5 kids and basically my house is always messy and i finally bought gloves the type they use at hospitals and when i think something is contaminated i just put on a pair of gloves and deal with it like that it’s helped me alot.

I staid at Rogers behavioral health ocd and anxiety unit and it was awful I told them I can’t stay in the bed wit my husband and dint stay in the same room at nite as my husband I haven’t been able to touch him in 5 to 6 months ain’t showered in 5 to 6 months and have been in the same clothes for 5 to 6 months and haven’t left my house in over a year and I can only sit in my bed and on my side of the couch and can barely touch anything in my home I live in Tennessee and didn’t wanna travel to Wisconsin if they couldn’t help me I was told they could and so I did my best and got there ince I got there noone new anything bout me and my ocd I was out in a room wit a roommate who had stuff everywere contamintion stuff to me she had been there awhile and her room was messy and full of stuff I had to leave everything I had been there the get there I curly stay in a room wit someone the place is old a gross the carpet is brown and is dirty it only gets vacuumed the bathrooms were so gross my roommate who had been at the adolescent unit for 2 months couldn’t shower there and had to go home my new roommate also hasn’t been able to shower and other residents witout contamination complained bout the shower ans that place is not for ppl wit severe ocd some ppl there just have anxiety everyone there has lives and jobs and is jsut haveing a good time can participate in everything none of them were struggling wit severe ocd so I felt alone the ppl who were in the bathrooms for along time went home cause they weren’t given the proper help there’s so many ppl who are jsut rich young ppl who can’t handle shit and go there the staff was useless and horrible and rude the behavioral specialist werent very good and always tried catching you in a lie he always thought you were lieing and he basically always made me feel like I was lieing bout my ocd and the therapist sucked weren’t helpful there is no helpful erp stuff it’s all on you to do by yourself the entire day of groups wasn’t helpful I just couldn’t believe wat I went threw for no reason i thiught I’d meet ppl like me and I didn’t I jsut felt alone so don’t go if you realy do have severe OCD.

Today I took my (currently potty training) toddler to play at a children's museum. I put a diaper just in case, but he's now to a point where he wants to use a toilet only. I notice he's messing at his diaper area, giving me cues he needs to go. I also needed to go. I hate public restrooms, they're really horrible, but I told myself this is a much cleaner place than most and accepted my fate. Little did I know, my toddler would decide a tantrum was in order IN the bathroom. He laid out on the floor, grabbed toilet paper off the floor, and rolled around. A NIGHTMARE!! I cried right then and there. I panicked and to make matters worse neither of us got to pee (what was I thinking ) and he rubbed his hands all around the sink with soap and I quickly rinsed and carried him out to the car. I don't even remember if I properly washed my hands but we are both contaminated now and I'm thinking what if we get sick. Now he is asleep in the car and I can't take him inside until I prepare for how I will clean him before he touches anything in my house. Then I also have to take his car seat apart to clean. I have alcohol wipes that I wiped his arms and legs and my hands. I don't know how I'm going to do this going forward. I'm disgusted right now.

My showers are usually two to four hours long. A couple weeks ago I was able to do a thirty minute shower, and then I had some 70 and 90 minute showers.

A big part of it is that whenever I wash my butt, I have to redo it a few times especially if there’s an itch. And after washing my butt, I wash my hands, and then wash the body wash bottle too(in case I touched it with the wrong hand or just because). And then wash my hands again too. The cycle repeats anytime I need to wash my butt area or genital area. Because the body wash causes itching I often have to redo that portion. The worst is when my butt itches and I have to do it again after washing my legs, because the “dirty soap" would go down my legs. That results in me having to wash my hands, the body wash bottle, and my legs again. Also often if I feel phlegm in my throat, I worry that somehow it got on my upper body. So I often have to wash my hands again or my upper body area. It’s genuinely exhausting. And with washing my hands in the shower, I have to scratch my fingernails on the hand with soap, clean the cuticles, use other fingernails to clean under my other fingernails, and scrub the fingertips, and rinse them under weather. I often have to repeat this.

I don’t exactly know how this adds up to two to four hours but it does.
Even with doing all this, I feel like it shouldn’t be taking me so long. What am I doing wrong?

About a couple weeks ago I started doing this.

This would deal with some NSFW topics like body fluids so pls keep that in mind if it triggers you or your anxiety!

Hi guys, I am 29 now. Ive been struggling with contamination OCD over the past 5 years. Ive had this one specific compulsion I cannot handle anymore and want to brute force ERP out of my system but i really need some perspective from other people.

I sometimes have night emission and so when I go to take bath i HAVE to scrub every inch of my body and my compulsions are so routine based and solid on place i can't get the courage to break them. If there are guys, pls could you tell me if it's okay to take a stressfree bath with a very normal and modest amount of soap and water is enough to remove s*men off the body? I am so worried about the possibility of there being traces of it even after a bath. I live with women rn. This worry also is something i used to carry to the gym and i would clean the seats after I used it like a freak till i stopped going and exercising at home.

I want to be able to take a 10-15 minute bath without my heart pounding and my rituals. I used to love bathing before OCD and was sometimes even taking no soap baths too. I just feel like my semen is all over me and I need to see lather and soap. I have googled and used AI for help and it says it's okay. Are any of the guys free from this specific OCD and could give me some perspective

I just joined the group and I won't muddle up this post but i have so many questions. I feel better reading some people suffer from the extremely niche things I think about too. It tells me there is a method to OCD that I am facing and i could get support!

I’ve struggled with this for years but thought I’d throw it to this lovely and supportive group for any suggestions. I wash my hands so many times per day they’re constantly dry, often cracked and bleeding. I’ve recently started washing up to my elbows so now my arms are starting to become similarly dry. I try to remember to put on lotion but I don’t often have it on hand. Anyone have any tips to help?

Hi, I have a question: does anyone here have this kind of OCD, for example? When I walk beside a trash can without physically touching it—let us say maybe there is half a meter between me and the trash can—I get a feeling that I touched it and I am dirty. It doesn’t need to be a trash can; it can also be dirt or, let’s say, a door handle.
I hope you can answer me. Thank you.

In the past, a few times, I used a lot of paper towels to clean some of my candle accessories. I come from a well-off family. She told me that I wouldn’t be able to do that if I were poor and basically alluded to me being able to do some compulsions because our family is well-off. She also says the same for my excessive handwashing and showering. My Mom and Dad always tell me that I’m wasting their money and that they can’t afford my showers. How true is it that I wouldn’t be doing some compulsions if I was poor? They know that I have OCD too.