u/pitamahbheesm

I went outside today after so many days and had to cross drainage at one place , after coming home I cleaned whatever I can but now getting some unwanted thoughts

What will happen if the poop particles gets on our items and body, what's the worst can happen?

My whole illness revolves around that, if these things can be resolved then only I can live in peace

Whenever I touch my body with little moisture, it feels like that the soap is there and it starts foaming, now I feel like I have injected tiny soap particles in my body

Yesterday night I felt like fever, body pain and loose motion, so I slept at that time but after waking up in the morning I felt something on undergarments and when checked it has leaked on undergarments, I throw my whole clothes, bath for 3 hrs but still not feeling good, now I'm feeling that my bed, bedsheets everything is ruined and can't be clean again, don't know what to do, spiraling so hard, everything is ruined, the will to live is also becoming zero, can anyone help

Whenever I visit my doctor he hardly talks about a minute and everytime say I'm optimising the medicine it will ease and mostly the medicine remains same only..so I don't get what's that

And whenever I visit my psychiatrist she also say the same things which I know so I don't know how long I have to spend money, when will it stop or go on forever?

I'm going solo from gurgaon on these date, anyone going on the same date can join?

So my girl go to washroom for peeing I can hear she touches toilet seat and then press flush and wash hand with water only and come outside, it icks me so much what to do?

So I went to meet friends today and something very unfortunate happened and after that I'm spiraling too much : He wanted to drive my bike so I gave him the keys but when he was going towards the bike I saw his hand got touched to dog's tail and it icked me very much and with the same hand he drived my bike and touched keys now I don't know what to do, whenever I think the things are going good for me something like this happens to destroy every progress whatever I have made...life is fucking hell, maybe it will ease after death

I'm planning to visit Ladakh by my own bike from gurgaon but I saw some videos where they're saying only local vehicles are allowed to explore the valley, can anyone guide me on this?

Some days are so much worse that you regret being born with this illness