Need advice on this girl i’ve met a couple times
Been talking to this girl for like a month now, met twice so far and both times were 2 days each. At the start she was VERY eager — arranging the first meet, saying she wanted to see me as soon as her plane landed, loads of energy etc. We slept together quickly and the chemistry in person is genuinely really good. In person she’s way softer/more affectionate and the vibe feels more real than over text.
Since then though the texting has changed a bit. She still replies consistently, sends selfies/random updates, sexual stuff, voice note flirting etc. Like literally recently she said “mmm say my name daddy” after I said her name in a voice note, said gym energy should go “into my vagina”, joked about wanting sex, all that. So attraction is definitely there.
But at the same time the actual conversations are kinda dry/boring now. We text every couple hours but it’s mostly random shit, weird humour, toilet pics, dumb reels, unfiltered behaviour etc. She’s very comfortable around me now and doesn’t really seem to be trying to impress me anymore. She’ll send random updates but not really deep convo or strong romantic energy over text. It almost feels like she became super casual really quickly.
One thing confusing me is effort/initiation. Early on she pushed to meet way more. Now she’s more responsive than proactive. If I ask about seeing her she says yes/sounds good, but she rarely drives plans herself or suggests concrete times. I’m usually the one pushing momentum/logistics.
I asked “wyd tomorrow?” recently thinking about meeting and she just said she was going out with friends. Then I realised that was probably too vague and she maybe didn’t even read it as me asking to meet. So after that I directly said “when am I seeing you again?” and she replied “idk my moms coming tomorrow sorry thursday”. Then I said I’m in Italy next week anyway so now realistically we might not see each other for like 2 weeks.
She didn’t reject seeing me though — she explained why and suggested next week before I said I was away. But she also didn’t strongly try to keep momentum either, which is what’s throwing me off.
So basically I can’t tell if:
- she genuinely likes me but is just comfortable/low effort over text
- or if the initial excitement dropped and now I’m more invested than she is
- or if this is just naturally drifting into a situationship where the attraction is real but the effort imbalance stays
The weird thing is she clearly still wants me sexually and still keeps contact alive, but she’s not acting like someone obsessively trying to lock me down either. It’s like moderate consistent interest rather than high urgency.
Honestly I’m getting a bit drained by the constant dry texting/uncertainty because I’ve been in similar situations before where it slowly faded after a strong start. At the same time though this doesn’t fully feel like a fade because she still engages, explains absences, flirts sexually, and the in-person chemistry is genuinely good.
So rn I’m thinking maybe stop over-investing mentally, stop forcing dry convo all day, keep doing my own thing/seeing other girls if I want, and just judge it based on whether we actually keep meeting consistently in real life.