r/datingadvice

My (M28) partner (F28) wants to take a class without me, but for me. She says it's to learn a skill for me. I have no idea what it is, and she won't tell me, but curiosity is killing me here. Any ideas on what it would be?

PS: I don't think it's anything nefarious. She's asked me to drive her to and from the class. I just can't think of what this would entail. The first thought that crossed my mind is that it's something of a sexual nature, but we don't have classes like that in our area to my knowledge.

As the title says, I've never had a serious relationship as an adult. I'm not incapable, I have and have had deep intimate trusting platonic friendships with women. I have dated, though more casual and non exclusive. It's not that I didn't want something serious, I just haven't had it. There's not one single reason for this. However here are some of the reasons, in no particular order:

1. Often attracted and interested in unavailable women

2. I never made dating or finding a girlfriend a priority, I was always just letting things happen

3. Struggles with anxiety and depression

4. Focus on work rather than play

5. Just not meeting enough people to find someone I wanted to date, or being more selective

Now how do I explain or address this to someone I want to date or starting to date, if/when it comes up without throwing up huge red flags.

I don't think this is necessarily a flaw, but I think it is more unusual especially amongst my friends, and amongst the dating pool.

If I am in the early stages of talking to a guy and he doesn’t text me for a day, is that bad? I decided not to reach out first today since that’s what I’ve been doing and I haven’t heard from him

Hello guys! I (22F) have been in a talking stage with a guy (20M) for about 2 months and 2 weeks now.
We met through online dating app. I've actually been the one to initiate meeting up twice already. I suggested meeting in a different city because my parents basically know everyone in our town 😭 and, of course, for safety since it would be in a public place.

The thing is, both times he said he wasn't available yet. He told me he wants to save up some money first for our first meetup, and he also needs to ask permission from his mom because his parents are pretty strict too.

I honestly appreciate that he's being responsible, but I'm starting to wonder... how long should I wait before expecting us to actually meet?

I'm not asking him to treat me to some fancy restaurant—we could literally just eat at a fast-food place. I just want to see if we're actually compatible in real life because I don't want us to stay as just "textmates" forever.

I already kind of like him because he's really good with words, he is understanding patient with me but at the same time, I don't know if I'm just being too patient or if I'm missing a sign.

For context, this is the first guy I've ever talked to romantically. I'm NBSB and have zero dating experience, so I genuinely don't know what's considered normal.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Should I keep waiting, or should I start seeing this as a sign that maybe he's not ready? I'd really appreciate any advice. 🥹

So I’m dating a single father, he and I dated a few years ago and we rekindled the last year. He is working two jobs and has a child but makes time for me every week since we first started seeing each other again and we’re getting more comfortable now with each other therefore he’s been more present in my life and spending time with me on weekends. However he told me he hates texting and will text me or engage with me online once a day but will not text me throughout the day. But when we’re together not on his phone and is present with me. Is he interested?

Hey so I’m not 100% sure if this is the write subreddit for this post but anyway I really want other peoples opinions so I can get a bit of a perspective.

For context I have ASD and general anxiety disorder so I’ve found it really hard to feel loved and attractive I’m contemplating meeting with a counseler through work but I want to build myself confidence so I can feel more comfortable in my own skin.

So I 19m turning 20 in a month just lost my virginity im a very anxious person and am on prescribed medication for anxiety so sex was always something that made me very scared so the opportunities that came up for me to be intimate previously never came into fruition because I’d always back out last minute.

Anyway because I’ve now ‘climbed the mountain’ I no longer feel anxious about potentially being intimate with a person and feel like I need to explore a bit more because I’m now not as anxious at the thought of sex.

Allot of people I know are on dating apps like tinder that they use for casual sex/relationships and are these good outlets or not and do people have any tangible success of these apps and also are their any links on what photos to post of yourself on tinder because I don’t have many pictures of myself and the ones I do have I’m unsure if I should use them.

i have a crush on a girl from my coding class. We first talked after our midterm and always had good conversations about studies and our interests whenever we met. I even gave her a few compliments (about her qualities) and dropped a couple of clear hints because I didn’t want to get friend-zoned.

We didn’t interact for 2–3 weeks because our timetables were different. On the final exam day, I finally asked for her Instagram. She said she doesn’t use Instagram much and didn’t offer her username.

I then asked for her number, but instead of giving it, she saved **my** number and said, “I’ll message you, surely.”

It’s been 2 days and she hasn’t texted.
She was always nice to me, so I’m confused. Is this an indirect rejection, or should I wait a little longer? Or is it better to just move on?

i met a guy, and i am actually 19, but outta panic i told him my age is 20. he’s 24 we j started talking and am a huge overthinker , and we talk v less hardly 1-2 texts in a day. do u think i should come clean right now or wait till our conversation escalates a lil. and my intention was never to lie to him, i j didn’t think we would actually start talking

It's usually I just don't find you attractive and that's it. Why is it people don't wanna list clear reasons and explanations behind the lack of attraction?

Like wouldn't it be useful information to the person being rejected to address any flaws they could have to improve for later interactions??

Hi! I’m planning to confess to someone this month through chat since we live far apart. I wanted to hear from women who made the first move, how did it go? Did it work out, or do you have any regrets? I’d love to hear your stories, whether they ended well or not. I think hearing your experiences might help me prepare myself for whatever happens.

So, I've known this girl for about four continuous days, however I've generally known her for about 2 months. I asked her out a month and a few weeks ago and she rejected me because she had a boyfriend but told me she wanted to stay friends. I accepted, but I ended up letting the friendship go because I realized I didn't want to make their relationship uncomfortable, so after our last conversation concluded I never reached out to her again, and she the same. Recently she just broke up with her ex-boyfriend, then added me on Facebook. I never told her my Facebook, but I guess it wouldn't be hard to find me if she knows my name. So I accepted and greeted her and asked her how she's been. She tells me she's good and first thing she made clear is that she has broken up with her ex and would like to hangout (But never clarified as friend or as a date). We've been texting back and forth some time before the hangout in three days.

Now my concern is this. I don't want to be a rebound, much less a therapist. I feel like if she has just broken up its unavoidable she might just hangout with me out of comfort or revenge. How do I maneuver this?

So I (26f) went on a first date recently, and the guy (29m) kissed me at the end of it. It was my first time going on a date from a dating app, and also with someone I didn't know for a decent amount of time prior to dating. I've never kissed anyone at the end of a first date before.

The date was nice, we talked for like 4 hours, he was very respectful and funny, and we had a good time. As we were parting ways, he asked for a second date, I agreed, and then he kissed me. It wasn't anything dramatic, he just went in for a quick little peck on the lips, but I wasn't expecting it and it caught me a little off guard. I wasn't uncomfortable or anything, just surprised. it happened so quickly that i didnt have time to really process that he was going in for the kiss or what had just happened.

Ladies, how do we feel about kissing on the first date? I don't know why I feel a bit conflicted about it. And for the guys, is this something you normally do on a first date?

(and before anyone asks, he did bring it up afterwards and we did discuss, like a "sorry if I kissed you too suddenly, I just felt like it was right in the moment and should have asked first", just want other perspectives)

I recently went out on a date with a guy I have had a crush on for a little while now. We both hang out together at a monthly game night hosted by a mutual friend of ours. It is worth noting this guy is also one of my older brother's closest friends (my brother lives out of state and is not involved in these hang outs, but a lot of their mutual friends are). I asked this guy on a date and he said yes (hell yeah), so we went out the following weekend. The date was really nice, we grabbed dinner and a movie, but by the end of the film as we were walking back to my car I was thinking "well, it's too bad this guy isn't into me at all." We'd gotten along well and had good conversation, but I got absolutely zero flirtations from this dude all night. We split the bill at dinner, I insisted on buying the movie tickets since the date was my idea. It all felt very platonic, just two pals hanging out. Bummer, but worse ways a date can go, honestly.
But then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place for a night cap.
And after chatting and drinking a little and listening to some records, he asked if he could kiss me, and our night moved on from there. And you guys, it was lovely. This man is an absolute charmer. I shit you not, we read poetry together.
The next morning he made me coffee, and while I sat in his kitchen in his hoodie, he told me he'd had a nice time and asked if I was free the next weekend. HE asked ME. And then he texted me later that day, just asking how my Sunday was going. He reached out first. I like this guy so much, so I was pretty over the moon about it.
But then as we got closer to the following weekend, he kind of dropped off responding to my texts. I asked if I should just meet back at his place and didn't even get a response and had to follow up the day of our "second date" to ask what time I should stop by. This was not a good sign, but I didn't want to read into it too much, like, maybe he's just a bad texter?
When I got to his place he said we should talk, and then he told me he "wasn't feeling it" and "didn't see it going anywhere serious." He was worried he was "leading me on." He said these situations can get messy and he didn't want to complicate anything between us and make our monthly hang outs awkward.
Since I was still suffering from tonal whiplash and was worried maybe I had just completely misread our whole situation, I just said, "thanks for your honesty" and then we went on an hour and a half long walk together because, I dunno, I'd driven all the way there and he had agreed to hang out with me? It was kind of awful but also kind of grounding because it meant the last thing he said to me wasn't how much he didn't like me. So there's that, I guess.
But now that I've had some time to think about this whole situation, I am definitely not crazy right? Like, no shit you should be worried you were leading me on! What the hell? How the hell else was I supposed to interpret every signal he sent me?
But I don't know how I should behave around him now. On the one hand, it feels like he just put on a whole show to convince me he was a charming guy so that he could get laid. (Which, honestly if he'd just been upfront about his intentions, would have been FINE. I'm not above a one night stand. I was pretty pumped I got laid too. I just wish it didn't feel like he'd tricked me into it!)
On the other hand, I get that people's minds can change. Maybe he was into me and then just... decided that he wasn't? He did have the decency to tell me to my face. If I had to guess, he was probably planning on sleeping with me a few more times before ending things, but because of my familial relation to a friend of his, he stopped it sooner than he would have.
In either case he's being a dirt bag. But I guess I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive. I admit I have not had a lot of sexual partners, but that's not because it's some big special thing to me. I just haven't wanted it very much. I'm worried if I act too pissed off at him, it comes off as me being heartbroken because we slept together. And that's not it, he just made me feel really stupid for falling for his little charmer act. And I want to let him know that was a shitty way to treat me. If he wanted to keep it casual he could have just said so without making me feel like I was lied to.
But I also don't want to come off as overly emotional or like I'm pining after him. I'm offended! I'm embarrassed, and I don't like the idea of some creep getting off that easy! But is he being a creep, or am I actually just being too butt hurt about the whole thing?
I'll be seeing him at our usual group social hang next week. Do I play it cool or do I let him have it?

So im seeing this guy, he is 23 and I’m 22 and he is genuinely so sweet and kind and lovely, he recently told me he’s a virgin and he’s never even kissed anyone. I feel bad that I immediately jumped to bad conclusions. He’s not bad looking, he has told me he has low self esteem and used to be very anxious. Maybe virginity I can understand, but never kissed anyone? I am a lot more experienced than him (not that I have slept with loads of people) but I’ve had a few relationships.

I want to ask him why but I don’t know how to go about it. Like does he have a micro penis? I don’t know . What should i ask him to try and understand him better?

Also another reason why im a bit suspicious is because he follows a few insta models and likes their pics, so now im wondering if he’s a porn addict

I (24F) have been seeing a guy (27M) for a few months now. Overall it has been good he is very nice and we usually see eachother about once a week. We are both leaving our city in a month and since it is so new it won’t really become anything so we’ve both approached it as a “summer fling” so to speak. We met through mutual friends so also spend a lot of time with each others friends.

This past weekend we went to a friends place for a while (like 8 hours) I gave him his space and let him spend the night with his friends only interacting here or there. At the end of the night he announced he was leaving and I asked him if we could go together, he said no and that he was tired which I (in the moment) had a hard time taking as an answer, trying to plead with him. We were both quite drunk and I Eventually up but was likely visibly a bit upset as he also Irish exited me the night before from being too drunk. I could tell he was annoyed by me and I’m really worried I ruined a good thing when we only have a couple weeks left to spend together anyway.

Other than last night I haven’t really been clingy at all with him and things have been going well, since he is leaving soon I wanted to spend time with him but I’m fearful I just ruined it. Would a man be scared by one time or is it fine if it isn’t a pattern.

What would you feel in this situation, is it best to just let it fizzle since it was ending soon yesterday and not reach out again.

I met this guy from tinder, he's super cute and we had sex at his house and obviously it wasn't that good for our first time but we had good convos, he seemed comfortable with silence too and said he'll text me. Now, I dropped him off to his friend's place after we had sex but during the drive, he fell asleep and I typically take it as a compliment when someone sleeps in my car because it means they trust you but an I reading into that too much? I think we need more time to build feelings for each other but yeah

Edit for clarity*

Where do I start? I'm 33 (m). Unexpectedly, there was a new girl at work one day 25 (f). I noticed she was pretty but at the time, didn't think too much of it.

We ended up getting along great at work. We had a very similar sense of humor, the conversations were easy. They flowed well. I never found it difficult talking to her. Now, just for some background, I've always been ok with women. I never had trouble dating. Whether I met someone at a bar, online etc.

One day I was teasing her about her hair. I said the color was great but the length was off. A few days later.. her hair was the length I suggested. She told me she would never change the length again after what I said. I was really surprised by that. There was nothing wrong with her hair! I was just being silly but I was surprised she took it so seriously.

So we go on like this back and fourth.

After a long day, I mentioned I was going go for a drink and asked her if she wanted to come along. Her entire face lit up. We had a great evening. We only had one drink each but we nursed them and talked for a while. She had a sip of mine. I had a sip of hers. And we shared a cigarette after. Now this entire time I'm thinking ok, this is odd because.. she's a coworker so are we just two coworkers having a drink after work or is she interested? As we wrapped up I asked her if she would join me for a drink another time. Again, her face lit up and she said yes. So we hugged, and parted ways.

Fast forward another week or two and we did the same thing. I asked her if she wanted to have a drink after work and she happily said yes. But.. this time the conversation felt more intimate to me. The tones were more hushed. There was a familiarity we didn't have last time. She told me she had remembered the first thing I had ever said to her, that she recently had a dream about me.. she was driving so didn't want to have more than one. We hugged, and I asked her to message me when she made it home. She did, and she told me she wished she wasn't driving so we could've had had another drink.

At this point I'm convinced she's interested but there's always a touch of a doubt because she's younger, she's a coworker, and the whole thing just could be messy.

Well the next week, she quit. I was shocked but not really. I knew she wasn't happy there. We texted that night she said she would miss seeing me and we talked about still hanging out.

A few days later I messaged her and said I had this day off and asked her to meet me for a drink. She said that sounded good and she didn't mind driving out towards me way (we lived about half an hour apart) we exchanged a few messages the day before and I suggested two places and asked if she had a preference for one or the other. She didn't respond.. so the next day (the day we're supposed to meet up) still no response. She messaged late morning and said sorry things were crazy the day before but asks if we can reschedule. I said sure but asked her if she was ok.. I was wondering if something happened. No response.

Fast forward a few weeks later.. and we exchange snaps here and there but otherwise that's it.

So where do I leave it? Obviously something has cooled and thats fine. But do I throw out a hail Mary? Do I keep trying to engage.

I want to say I built this up to be more than it was, but I honestly dont think I did.

Should I consider pursuing my work crush?

Hi, I’ve developed a crush on a fellow coworker over the last few months and was looking to get some advice on if I should even consider pursuing it or just keep things platonic.

For some background, I’m an 18m who started his first job at a movie theater a few months ago. I met a coworker there, over the last several months we’ve had really enjoyable conversations whenever our shifts overlap.

At first it was mostly work related, but over time our conversations became more personal and friendly. We learned we have a ton of shared interests and hobby’s. We’ve also bonded on a specific game that we both have never met another person play before lol. In general our conversations have never felt forced and we’ve gotten along very well and I find her to be a kind person. Only red flag is she’s mentioned a “guy friend” but based on comments she’s made it seems like the guy isn’t that kind. (Leaving things kinda ambiguous for privacy reasons lol)

I never considered her even being remotely interested but some little things have caught my attention. One being she kept mentioning how there’s been movies she’s wanted to watch but she hasn’t found someone to watch them with and how she feels awkward going on her own. (I figured this was just regular small talk especially when we work in a theater but she’s brought it up multiple times and only ever to me).

My hesitancy is mostly due to a few things. One being I’m still trying to get to know her more and grow a friendship at first. Two being that while I definitely find her attractive (not just looks but as a person) I’m not at all attractive. I’m severely overweight at 370lbs at 5’9 (was previously a powerlifter but due to an injury from a car accident have only recently started working out again) and while I’m getting back on track and have been losing weight I just don’t feel like I’m in her league.

I know it’s a bit lacking in details but tell me your thoughts. And if there’s any questions about it please ask. Thank you

Hi guys i’m 19M clg student who is in 3 rd b.tech didn’t built any skills nor get into a relationship .basically i don’t even know what am i doing with my life everyone around me are grinding on something i don’t get any motivation to do something skill full that helps me generate lot of money but i don’t have that environment . from my school days i am a extreme introvert who don’t mix up with others easily . but i try i didn’t had any female interaction in my life and i don’t have any female friends like others many guys around me are in relationships with girls . but i wouldn’t be able to approach a girl in my uni . currently my 3 rd year 5th sem gonna start by this week so i am open to any suggestions you guys would give either on skills or how to approach a girl .

So I’ll admit, I(30F) have a tendency to sleep with guys I go out with in the first date. If I find them cute, we’re vibing, then it’s like why not right? During/after the date they will tend to say “we should keep seeing each other” and either I’ll get their number or I’ll give them mine and then I’ll never see or hear from them again. Why? Cause in my head it’s like “I found someone I like hooking up with, we should keep doing this!” But are guys just going thru the motions to get out the door? If so why talk about future plans you have no intention of keeping? Why talk about hooking up again if your just gonna ghost me? It’d be one thing if talk only was about the present and/or they left on a “thank you I had fun tonight” but it’s always the guy saying “we should do this again” or “text me later” with 0 follow thru.