u/TemporaryNo6917

I (24f) have been single for 3 years now. Hitting that anniversary mark has made me really start to look deeper into my dating life. My last relationship started when I was 17 and lasted to 21. We lived together for ~3 of those years, got along well, and didn't fight other than a few spats here and there. However, we wanted different things out of life and it was a very lonely and one-sided relationship so I decided to walk away. We were very close and it took me a while to start to look at other men romantically/sexually again. This also made me reflect a lot on what worked and didn't work in the relationship and what I want in a partner. I love very deeply and I am not one to hop into something short term. (Not to say that I haven't enjoyed a casual sexual relationship or two, but if I want someone romantically I pursue them much differently) About a year after that breakup, so 2 years ago, I reentered the dating pool. I work/school from home, my hobbies are very female dominated, and I'm not big on drinking other than occasions so I don't meet a lot of men in public, so dating apps have been my primary way to find single men. I do occasionally go out dancing with my friends, do public activities such as rock climbing, and have one in person class for college but men typically just stare at me and never make a move in person. Not to toot my own horn, but I consider myself to be quite a catch. In my own opinion anyway, I am attractive, have a good job, my own place and car, work out frequently, and love to love. That last part is what I'm struggling with the most. I want to love someone and dote on them but I did that for so many years with someone who never showed any appreciation to it. Because I know I have a lot to give and want to invest so deeply into someone, I keep my standards high. I have the basic non-negotiables that I feel most women my age have like they have to have good hygiene, a car, job, etc. I'd also like to be with someone that is intentional about bettering themselves the way that I am, be at least decent to look at, and most importantly of all, someone that shares my views on a relationship. I want to love and to be loved. Obviously that isn't going to happen a few dates in, but my experiences have not been great when it comes to finding someone like this. I've had a couple instances so far where I meet someone who I think could really be the one, only to find out I was being led on and end up ghosted after we sleep together. This really takes a toll on me and every time this has happened I need to take a break from dating. I've had multiple occasions of men saying some variation of "I've never met anyone like you/I've never felt this way before" all for it to end abruptly weeks/months later. I even had one guy visiting my city that was supposed to be just a one time date for fun fly me out to stay with him for a week and play house/do all kinds of romantic shit, just for him to tell me he didn't think he wanted to do long distance on the way to the airport. It's starting to wear on me and I know that I'm still young but I'm starting to lose hope that the kind of man I'm looking for just doesn't exist. With the way that dating is now, a new experience with a new person is just a swipe away. Why would anyone invest fully into someone when there could be a better option out there? This is something that I find myself thinking often and it's making me want to just give up. I guess I just don't know what to do at this point. I'll keep trying because the romantic in me still hasn't given up but I'm getting close. People around me have said that men my age just aren't ready to "settle down" in that capacity but I don't want to have to wait until I'm 30+ to experience love again. Are my standards too high? Should I start going out more to meet people? Any advice from older women who have experienced this or even men that share these sentiments would be greatly appreciated. Either way thanks for reading, I know this was a longer one.