So I (29 F) met (27 M) a few weeks ago. We have been on a couple of dates. He is very sweet and has autism like me. I want to know is it to fast to take things to the next level as in sex wise? This is my first real relationship.
I write smut no one in my fanily knows I write dark smut in my free time and I am terrified to publish anything becuase of that
Does anyone want to read my first chapter of a book on wattpad? Its a dark romance horror
I miss the girl who smiled at love. Who wasn't afraid to put her heart out there. Didn't have the fear of heartbreak. Didn't have the bruises. Didn't have the late night wake ups. Didn't have the tears. Didn't have CPTSD. Didn't have the anxiety,didn't have the attachment issues, didn't have the abandonment issues,didn't have trust issues.
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The girl who didn't want to push away the man who only wants to love her. Becuase she is used to toxic abuse and not the love and gentle touch of a man who actually cares.
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Before the Bipolar got worse. The mood swings that got worse. The ups that got worse the downs that got worse.
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I miss the happy girl. I don't like what the world has shaped me into. I miss being my happy bubbly self. I miss the me before the man who broke down my character. I miss the me that the woman erased with mental abuse. I miss the me who wasn't scared, who didn't have to look for the red flag or make up my own. I miss second guessing good intentions.
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I miss being full of life instead of dread.
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I miss me.
Can someone help
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Can someone help me figure out if i have bipolar 1 or 2? I have been off my meds for 10 days becuase well I simple did not want to anymore. Now i have been little crazy lately. I have been hear some stuff like my name or something. I have been in a super high, been in a both high and low and have been since last night in a down. I've been irritated, hypersexual, recklessness, racing thought, my spending has been really bad, paranoid,depressed and I blew up on my boyfriend now twice. I am starting my meds back tonight. But I feel like i am literally going out of my mind and its been very hard to do anything. Its like there is some kimda war in my head. I just want to k ow if bipolar 1 or 2 or if i really am fucking crazy.
Can someone help me figure out if i have bipolar 1 or 2? I have been off my meds for 10 days becuase well I simple did not want to anymore. Now i have been little crazy lately. I have been hear some stuff like my name or something. I have been in a super high, been in a both high and low and have been since last night in a down. I've been irritated, hypersexual, recklessness, racing thought, my spending has been really bad, paranoid,depressed and I blew up on my boyfriend now twice. I am starting my meds back tonight. But I feel like i am literally going out of my mind and its been very hard to do anything. Its like there is some kimda war in my head. I just want to k ow if bipolar 1 or 2 or if i really am fucking crazy.
Yesterday my boyfriend and I (30 F and 27 M) got into a fight. He told me he would be getting food and would be at his pc when he got home. That normally means we could talk for a little bit. He got on a game with his brother instead. The impression he gave me was we could talk and didn't tell me otherwise. I apologizef becuase I did blow up. (I have bipolar I am in a mix manic depression rn not an excuse it just makes me more emotional I am on meds). Last night after the fight we had he told me we could get on call after he got home from spending time with his dad for fathers day . He got home pretty late and I asked if we were calling or not. He said no he was tired but his discord said he was playing a game. This morning I went on my steam account becuase i got a notification and I decided to check his check his profile it was last active 4 and half hours ago meaning he was up until 3am gaming. Now I do not know if I am just going through my crazy episode or if I have the right to be angry at him? I don't want to be the asshole so I haven't said anything to him.
When was the last time you had raw rough dark sex. I mean the kind where you would let your partner do unspeakable things to you.
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Mine was last Friday.
I have tons of childhood trauma and trauma. I have been physically mentally and emotionally abused all my life. I was a kidnap victim and a sexual assult victim. I am with someone who treats me right this time and actually gives a damn about me. But my sexual fantasies and stuff I have actually let my boyfriend do seem broader line messed up. I have bipolar. For more details. I let my boyfriend have free use of me and CnC. I also let him do whatever else he wants too whenever and wherever he wants. I am pretty sure I am a sex addict as well. I feel like I am mentally fucked lol. I am in tharepy and on meds.
If i let you see....the manic, depression, mood swings, irritation, hyper, hypo, tears, smiles, self doubt, self criticism, mean words, bad family, medical problems, mental health problems, trauma, CPTSD episodes, flashback tears and screams, night terrors, nightmares, happy moments, no emotion, all emotions, numbness, loneliness, do you still questions, over excitement and me....would still love me knowing all those things don't go away don't get better due to trauma, bullying, abuse, self harm..would you stick around until the end? Until forever and after?
My bf and I have been together for almost 2 months and talked for a month before that. We have a lot sex. Like everytime we see each other its at least 3 or 4 times in one day and sometimes we spend whole weekends together. We have kinky sex, normal sex and Anal sex. I just want to know if it too much. I am bipolar and very hypersexual and I get into manic states where sex is the only thing i want to do when he is around me. I have fallen for him too. I feel very intense emotions around him. Is this normally for a new relationship?
I have bipolar 2 and I am 30 years old.
I have started a new relationship its been about a month and half. I am on meds now for my BP. I feel like i have become overly attached to my boyfriend. He doesn't seem to mind it. The relationship is a green flag there hasn't been any red flags but i feel like I am the red flag lately with how much I want to talk to him. Am I over thinking? Is there a way to improve how I react when he wants to do something with his friends and I get upset? I have been in some really bad relationships so I am always second guessing my actions or think I am annoying him. I really want this to last.
I have bipolar 2 and I am 30 years old.
I have started a new relationship its been about a month and half. I am on meds now for my BP. I feel like i have become overly attached to my boyfriend. He doesn't seem to mind it. The relationship is a green flag there hasn't been any red flags but i feel like I am the red flag lately with how much I want to talk to him. Am I over thinking? Is there a way to improve how I react when he wants to do something with his friends and I get upset? I have been in some really bad relationships so I am always second guessing my actions or think I am annoying him. I really want this to last.
I have bipolar 2 and I am 30 years old.
I have started a new relationship its been about a month and half. I am on meds now for my BP. I feel like i have become overly attached to my boyfriend. He doesn't seem to mind it. The relationship is a green flag there hasn't been any red flags but i feel like I am the red flag lately with how much I want to talk to him. Am I over thinking? Is there a way to improve how I react when he wants to do something with his friends and I get upset? I have been in some really bad relationships so I am always second guessing my actions or think I am annoying him. I really want this to last.