Is my relationship moving too fast? (currently 8 mo) Me, 21F. Him, 23M.
The first date, s\*x. Every week for 1–4 days, usually 2–3, I spend the night in his place. S\*x isn’t actually all that often or overwhelming from then on, and doesn’t feel like a necessity. Within a month, on a camping trip, he says he loves me. I genuinely am questioning a couple of things, but I feel a deep connection with him. Over the next few months, my love for him grows at an insane rate. He cares for me, takes care of me in difficult situations related to my College and other things, he is encouraging, loyal to his friends, loved by his friends, he shows me off, he listens to me when I tell him he needs to work on something, he encourages me to get the piercings I’ve always wanted, he lets me dress how I want (I guess bare minimum), he makes an effort in every way, buys me the occasional flower-shop hand-picked-by-him bouquet, we go camping every month or two (one of my big hobbies), we go offroading (another hobby), he works on my car (and fixed things in my old place of living too), he is there for me when I totaled my car, he plays video games with me (hobby again), he dresses up with me for halloween (dress-up—anther hobby), he cooks what he can for me, and begins to show me he is serious by working really hard at his job and gaining certifications so he can move further in it. All this, and more. And I’ve never seen anyone try this hard. For me or anyone in my life. By month 3, my lease ends, and he says I could move in with him if I want to. I turn him down, thinking it is too fast, and our relationship continues. By month 8, he has to go to A school for the Coast Guard, which is a 3-month-long school. At the same time he is supposed to be leaving (with an empty apartment), I lose my job. He says I can live in his apartment, and he will pay the rent for the 3 months while I find a job in the area he lives in. I break my lease. I am now in his apartment, and its been a couple of weeks since he's been in A school, and he mentions a proposal. This shocks me because it was never formally discussed as something he wanted to do; he may’ve mentioned it, but he didn’t say it was something he wanted now. From the start, I spoke about my goal of marriage. It always has been, and I want to scare off people who aren’t serious. He was 100% fine with it, and after spending many years messing around and having a life I wouldn’t say is predictable or easy, he said he was ready for something committed. And that he always dreamed of it.
He said he planned to propose when I flew to his A school pinning ceremony (his grandparents would be there, and he wanted them to see; they aren’t in the best health at the moment). I put my foot down and said I wasn’t ready for that. And I don’t know if a proposal after not seeing each other in person for 3 months, and on only 10 months of even knowing each other. We met on B\*mble (yes, insane. He took me go-karting, and it was awesome, and when I beat him and got the third-best time of the week, he took it so well, I knew he was a good person.)
Anyways, all that background to say:
I feel like I want that, and I feel like I want him. But I also know my parents rushed into things quickly, and my mom never had a chance to learn my dad was a very bad person. It's an extreme example, but I really don’t want something like that happening to me.
He said I could wear the ring for as long as I want, and we would get married whenever I wish. But a ring adds pressure. My ex gave me an expensive promise ring too, and it honestly influenced me a little because I didn’t know how to just give it back. My sister said, “You don’t want to be one of those girls who wear an engagement ring for 3 years,” but I don’t even know if I care. I love rings, and I wouldn’t mind wearing one for a while. But what is the success rate with something like this? I love him, though, and at this point I do want to spend the rest of my life with him. I said to him to at LEAST wait until our one year, and we could talk about it then. It is a big deal. And we are young.
TLDR: Boyfriend wants to propose before the relationship hits one year.
Thoughts? Is this too fast?