u/Accomplished-Job-491

I recently got a new MRI scan done and it said I have a loss of brain volume of the corpus callosum. That at first is not really too dramatic, from what I’ve read it’s something that can occur with MS. What concerns me is just that they can already see it after only 2 years since my diagnosis. I’ve been on Kesimpta the last 2 years and experienced extreme fatigue, depression, spasms and cognitive issues like concentration and anomia (word finding difficulties) on it, all while having no new active lesions. Especially since my spasms and cognitive issues got a lot worse I’ve been already put on new medication which is more „effective“ than Kesimpta. I’m only 22 years old so I’m genuinely terrified of the thought of my brain loosing volume, does someone know what this may mean for my future MS progression ? Or did anybody experience similar things?

Sorry but I’m currently at a point in my life, in which I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore and I just feel so powerless, I just want to see if talking about it would make me feel any better. I’ve been diagnosed with MS two years ago, at 20 and since then life has been absolutely unfair and awful to me. Fatigue, depression, nerv pain and spasticity are the symptoms I’m experiencing daily. Now on to my biggest problem: I had depression prior to my diagnosis but it got a whole lot worse since. Im in therapy and I take anti depressants but my mind is still so loud and breaking me down to pieces, it crushes me completely. It feels like it has taken EVERYTHING from me, my ability to feel happiness, gratefulness, excitement, love, ambition and so much more. There’s just anger, extreme anxiety, panic and sadness left, my studies are really suffering from that right now, I can’t even convince myself to wake up in the morning. I really don’t know what to do, nothing seems to work and I slowly can’t recognize myself anymore. This feeling of hopelessness and not knowing what to do is just terrorising, really!! I’ve had really bad thoughts lately, that I didn’t have for a very long time and it eats me up that it has come to this point again. I can’t really tell you one specific reason why I feel this way, it’s just everything together, to be honest. I feel like I’m in mental state that will likely take me sooner, than actually MS.

If you know any antidepressant, form of therapy, I don’t know, ANY kind of solution, please share it with me. I’m just so desperate, it’s eating me alive, I can’t keep living like this anymore. Even if it’s personal experience, tell me, please.