u/Accomplished-Log53

I have had h2s sibo for 5 years now, since i was 15. Ive tried antimicrobials antibiotics diet stuff etc. Especially last year it got so much worse. Im seriously gonna kill myself at some point i cant go on im so tired. Doctors dont listen and say its ibs, i probably have it too but low fodmap is doing nothing. It's so lonely. I know im weak and selfish for killing myself and i know im gonna destroy my parents's lives. I dont want to and ive been trying to find a cure so much but nothing is working. Ive used so much money for antimicrobials and i cant afford elemental diet cuz u cant even buy it here and i would loose too much weight. I have other health problems too and im just so done. Im 20 and i already have a fucked up gut i cant do this another 60 years. Sorry for the negativity but i feel so alone and had to say it

Is it okay for me to start refusing to give my friend car rides to her house because she never gets me anything in return and she could easily use the bus and afford it? Im the only one with a licence and a car. I already have to drive over 20km/12 miles just to meet her (and then i have to drive that back to get home). Dropping her off at her house isnt many extra kilometers, but ive helped her many times over the past months and im starting to get annoyed bc she never treats me anything.

It didnt bother me at first, i really love to help others. But especially the last few weeks ive started to feel like im used for my car. I have 0 income right now and even tho i have lots of savings, i want to be very careful on how i use my money as a student. We have known each other for 6 months and i dont want to lose this friendship, but ive noticed that this situation has made me feel resentment towards her and im afraid that ill start to avoid her company sooner or later.

Are my feelings valid or am i just greedy? How do i fix this? It's hard for me to say no to her face to face bc im scared ill come off as a jerk.

(I actually have another friend too that constantly asks me for free rides so advice is appreciated)