Accidentally exposed in front of non-mehram for the first time
I’ve been wearing hijab for over a year and I never slipped up. I feel devastated and humiliated and feel as if all my work all this time was for nothing (I know that’s not the case, but it still feels like it).
My Christian family, along with my sister’s boyfriend, is traveling overseas to visit my grandma in a very hot and humid country. There is no air conditioning in their house except in the upstairs bedrooms and I was eating dinner downstairs without hijab and with short sleeves on, bc I knew my sis’ bf wasnt home. And also I havent seen my grandma in 10 years and she’s super old so I try not to cover up in front of her so she can see me cuz it’s probably the last time. The dining table is very close to the door. Usually my sister texts in the Whatsapp family chat before they come home but this time she and her boyfriend walked in without warning and I quickly ran behind the door and tried to cover myself with it but he looked behind it and saw me. Then I ran upstairs and idk if he was still looking at me then bc I was just leaving as fast as I could. But probably.
And now everyone is angry at me because they said I was making a scene/being rude, that I made my sister and her boyfriend uncomfortable and need to apologize to them, and that covering your hair in front of men is not Biblical (they know I’m freaking Muslim). And saying that my sister’s boyfriend is not attracted to me, as if I was saying that he was or that even matters????????? 😡
I know that if it’s an accident then it’s not sin, but I feel guilty because it was a preventable accident (I could have just worn it anyway and suffered through the heat). I feel really gross and I was already not in a good mental state, now I feel even worse.