r/Hijabis

Salam girls. I am feeling so confused. I changed psychiatrists to a Muslim doctor and he completely changed my medication combination and diagnosis. He speaks very highly of himself (He literally said “You don’t know WHO I am!!”) and doesn’t listen to me or my feelings. Tells me that I’m just telling stories to myself and that all my previous psychiatrists were wrong. Now I’m following some of his advice and prescription changes and I feel awful. Maybe his treatment plan will work in the long run but I don’t have much more patience. I have suffered so much already. I just want to cry and run back to my old psychiatrist. Just venting. I vented the other day too but then deleted bc I felt guilty for exposing him even anonymously. I don’t know if I should go with what was comfortable or if Allah is telling me to get out of my comfort zone. I’ve done Istikhara a hundred times already it seems. I’m so confused.

Struggling to pray salah, any tips?

"There will come upon the people a time when the one who is patient upon his religion will be like the one holding onto a burning ember."

I always think about this hadith when I see the muslim representation on Social Media.

Before if you uncovered yourself, it was not something that would influence other girls in a major way, but I feel like seeing girl influencers we look up to suddenly taking it off encourages a lot of other girls to do the same. And I hate this, but it is the truth. We look up to these girls. Wearing Hijab is difficult, and seeing someone having sucess and support taking it off eases your mind into doing the same. I also despise the sexualization of hijab in the recent years.

Some girls wear it as a "brand" on social media and its very clear they wouldnt be as sucessful if they presented as any other person.

It just transformed so much in a short time, and the core values are dissolved.

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, sisters.

I'm writing this because I feel very alone, and I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar.

Are there any sisters here who experienced childhood trauma and are now trying to heal from it?

The older I get, the more it feels like my past is catching up with me. Some days it feels overwhelming, and I don't know how to move forward. I'm currently seeing a psychologist, but healing feels like such a long and difficult journey.

As Muslims, we know that Allah is the Best Healer, and I keep making du'a and trying to hold onto my faith. But sometimes I wonder... does this pain ever become lighter? Is it possible to truly heal, or do we simply learn to live with it?

If you've been through something similar, what has helped you? Was it therapy, your relationship with Allah, certain duas, Qur'an, or simply time?

I'm not looking for details about anyone's trauma—only if you're comfortable sharing what has helped you heal and regain some peace.

May Allah grant shifa to everyone who is struggling, ease every burden, and replace our pain with tranquility. Ameen.

Salam everyone! For the last few weeks I’ve been feeling a really strong “want” to start wearing the hijab. I’m a revert and I’m still trying to be a good Muslim. I don’t pray a lot and I still drink alcohol every now and then (and hate myself for doing so). But I want to start wearing hijab. It won’t be an instant overnight thing, but I’d like to start wearing it a few times a week for a start, is this okay? I’m in a western country, so will people look at me weird if I wear hijab one day and not the next (I’m a uni student, so there will be people I’ll see multiple times a week in class)? I’m also a white person, and there are very few Muslims where I live, so I’m also worried about judgement from other people… I know I shouldn’t care, but it’s hard not to when you’re the odd one out

Please let me know any advice, thank you🫶

Asalam Alaykum everyone,

im a revert to Islam, but sadly I was taught by some extreme people. They viewed women as less than men and really sexualized them.

I thought women we wear hijab so men don’t look at them etc. now i learning that it’s a symbol of our faith and modesty. I’d like to learn more. Why do we wear hijab?

im trying to relearn Islam and follow the middle path.

i remember having the surgery and my grandma telling me that it’s to make me “avoid sinning”, i remember the pain and the blood and the face of the man that did this to me.

however as i grew up my desires were still as any normal teenager, i can still feel pleasure easily and if i look down i can’t really tell if any part is missing so i have no idea what happened to me.

it didn’t make me “avoid sinning” and i feel completely normal but i genuinely can’t tell what the heck went on in that surgery room, i obviously have never seen any other female private part and i can’t tell if anything is weird, is there any way to know?anyone who went through this?

So I’m asking this out of respect, because I don’t want to accidentally offend anyone

So I’m a practicing Pagan, I veil to protect my energy, and I also choose to dress modestly. After I move out of state, I want to wear a headscarf hijab style, because I like how it goes over to the chest for an added layer of modesty, and I honestly think it looks pretty.

So I work with The Morrigan, and she encourages me and gives me strength to dress how I want, and stand up for myself when I face judgement. Which I am expecting to face judgement from family and stuff, and I’ve never been overly comfortable with standing up for myself. I’m actually fairly meek and try to avoid conflict.

So since I veil anyway, I was thinking it could be a devotional act to The Morrigan, as dressing how I want and for me is what she encourages me to do. She encourages women to step into their power and dress how they want for THEM, no one else

So with that being said, I’m Irish on my mother’s side, and The Morrigan is an Irish goddess. So I was thinking I could use embroidery to sew Celtic knots into the sides of my headscarves, to represent The Morrigan’s unending love and protection, as well as either paint with fabric paint or sew on pieces of fabric on the sides the shape of crows. As The Morrigan is represented by crows

​

Assalamu Alaikum,

I’m looking for a Muslim female therapist or someone who has good knowledge of mental health

I would really prefer someone who understands Islamic values. Free support would be best for me right now.

Does anyone know of any websites, organisations, communities, or people I could reach out to?

Edit:I’m also looking for a friendly, non-judgmental women’s online group where I can chat, make friends, share things, and have a little fun too. If anyone know of any, I’d really appreciate the recommendation

JazakAllahu Khairan.

Salam aleykom,

I hope my message does not come across as ignorant or arrogant. This topic has been killing me lately.

First I will tell you some context about Polygyny and then tell you how it can be practiced.

1. I know it came in a time during war, where women were left without protection. They would be misused and left alone. Therefore Polygyny during that time was absolutely necessary.

2. You can stipulate that you have the right for divorce if he marries someone else. And some say you can stipulate "no polygyny". But it depends on the Imam, some wont officiate the marriage. But at the end of the day, the man can still marry someone else because it is his right. You cannot make something halal, haram.

3. A man can marry without permission of first wife.

4. A man can marry without knowledge of first wife.

5. All he needs to do is be just. This does not include emotional justice.

Now comes the story:

There is a woman who married a man when he was young and broke. She sacrificed her life for him. Moved across the planet, left family and friends, and was ready to give it her all. As a wife she fulfilled all of her duties. She also gave up work to raise kids and take care of household. Now 20 years later, the man decided to marry someone younger than her. She was not physically pretty anymore and pretty old. He did so without her consent. When she found out, she broke apart. She locked herself in her bedroom. Did not eat, sleep, had constant panic attacks and did not function as a human being. She felt betrayed. This affected the kids too. They developed trauma and mental illness. But the man did try his best to be kind, just and equal. Islamically he did nothing wrong. If he wants to fulfill his desires, he can do it. She is the one who is not accepting the situation. Its not his problem. And he is not sinful because he is trying his best and did it within Islamic guidelines. She also cannot divorce because she has no job, no family, no friends and has kids.

I dont see any wisdom in this situation. This case is not a rare one. Women developing mental illnesses, homes being broken and kids being traumatized is something I always hear when it comes to polygyny.

There are many other stories like men signing nikkah while first one is giving birth. Or men hiding marriage completely and only at funeral first family gets to know about second one.

You know what hurts the most. Its that a man can marry out of sexual desires. And as long as he is just and kind, he is not sinful. In other words: the mans desire is prioritized over mental heath of women. Its not a wise choice, but its a right Allah gave them.

Even if she did divorce him. Whats the wisdom? She has no home, friends, family, lost custody to kids, developed mental illness and was betrayed. He has a car, house, his kids and a new wife.

And men do know Allah favors them in this matter, dont tell me it benefits widows etc. It leads to more harm than good. It benefits men, harms women, yet women have no say? At minor inconveniences in the marriage men also always threaten the first wife with polygyny. They know it breaks them apart.

So I have been wondering. Does Allah really care for women? There are MANY other things I could talk about. Islamic principles like no harm, not deceiving etc seem to have no place here? I just want to know how women know this and are able to cope? Please directly answer my question and dont start telling me about other things in Islam. It seems like brainwashing honestly. (astaghfirallah i know, i cannot help my pain tho)

Baraku allah feekum

I'm a khimari now, but today I was scrolling through my old pics and videos from before khimar and I was genuinely shocked.. Some of them looked like thirst traps to me now 😭

The weird part is that, back then I never saw them that way, it was never about attention.. Dressing a certain way or posing in certain positions for pictures was just so normalized that I genuinely thought I was simply taking cute pictures for fun.

And now I'm looking back and wondering what everyone else saw when they looked at me..

I don't really care what people thought tho, but the idea that I might have come across as an attention seeker when that was never my intention is a bit hard to process.

I mean was I communicating something I didn't even know I was communicating? 🥲

It's crazy how I don't see things with the same eyes anymore.. Shaytan really normalized so much for me without me even realizing it.

Subhanalah.

Salamualaykum , so ive know this guy online ( asked about subjects tips on a highschoolers group and we stayed in contact ots been 5 yrs , he re connected last year saying he wanted to get know me , then i expressed how im not open for it unless its serious .

Yesterday , he reached saying he is serious and needs only 1 meeting since he knows there is something towards me just meeting irl and then get family involved ( for me if i may give a chance i ll def involve my mother from the start ) .

1 - He said he nedds only 1 meeting and i panicked a while ( im not 100% self confident abt my looks / stability and i thought mayne i need to become the version of mysemf that i like before getting myself into a serious rs )

2 - Also im afraid of the part where to tell my mom he is an online person not a person from my daily life haha 🫠 ( girlies how did you tell your moms abt an online person and tur’ed out your husband maybe ? )

I wanna hear your opinions about it

Just got banned from Muslim lounge because I said that a fully grown adult should not be marrying a 17 year old girl. Like how can people justify it. And to get banned for calling them out shows the mentality of the moderators on that group. Has to be some sickos who encourage it.

Salam. So basically I have ocd that had been getting worse. I talk to myself out loud in public over and over again, usually saying the same prayers repeatedly and asking God to cleanse me and protect me, I think because I never feel safe and feel like I'm going to hell. I haven't been praying salat very much. I don't know if I have schizophrenia, but yeah these are my symptoms. People at work are scared of me because they see me whispering to myself over and over again. I am peaying and I fee like I'm "talking to God." Please tell me that I don't need to pray obsessively, especially out loud. I do this before eating as well (saying bismallah) and it scares and confuses people.

Edit: Do we need to talk to God all the time? Do we need to constantly ask for protection? I feel like I am always hearing waswasas.

My friends and i are planning a trip to Madeira, Portugal. I would love to hear fellow hijabi experiences if you have been there! But also what were the best destinations you’ve been to that you felt the most comfortable/kind locals. Surprisingly i had the most amazing time in paris last year and the french people were very kind to us. I’m born and raised in london so i guess my standards for kind locals are low 😂😂i should point that out

Awkward conversation and my weird humor

Hmuuuu girlies I need friends

Hi everyone,

I hope everyone is doing well,

Sisters im in the uk and currently it’s hot summer and wanted to order some hijabs which are good for this weather.

The thing is i get so easily overwhelmed when i have to shop with my adhd and other issues, i look into too many things,

I have some jersey and liquid jersey hijabs, I wanted to get some cotton modal? I’m not sure where to look, budget wise I don’t want high price, mid range is okay.

I keep seeing some hijabs for £20 plus and same ones for much less than that, are they even similar qualities?

I was looking into veiled hijabs?

Salam alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu

I still have the problem that I can not notice when my period ends.

Almost always i don't have to because my period (red to yellow) stays the full 10 days. So it ends by the hanafi rule.

But sometimes it ends a little bit early and i dont know what to do. I know about the thing with the piece of cotton. The piece of cotton is almost white. There is only a faint of yellow glimmer.

I didn't take a look in my cycles if the yellow glimmer stays all the time.

But I think the mucus will never be really 100% white.

Tomorrow will the period end by the rule but I don't know what to do.

Should I wait till tomorrow or should I take ghusl and start praying?