r/Hijabis

Hi guys! I'll be attending uni soon. And my mum has been encouraging (not forcing) me to wear my hijab. When i was younger i used to be an on and off. Then at the age of 16 i never wore back.

Im a haircare girly, and have dark blue hair. People always tell me how beautiful my hair is because i take care of if soo much.

I do wanna wear hijab. But im scared because i dont feel pretty in it.

Also, last year i did try wearing hijab. But my mom was lowkey telling me that the pashmina doesnt look good on me, and etc. So i was so pissed off and never wore it again as protest. Its so annoying.

So to my hijab girliesss, how to change the mindset? I wanna wear hijab, but after being told that pashmina doesnt look good on me and stuff. I feel really conscious. I genuinely want to wear, but i also wanna be pretty.

My friends have been complaining about getting sunburned recently, and I realized I have never experienced this. Am I really lucky or is it normal for hijabis? I feel really grateful, since it seems to be painful

Salam everyone,

I have an hourglass body and try my best to hide my shape with lose clothing and often wear abayas. However, I noticed when I walk and there is wind blowing against my body (especially my back) it is revealing my shape. I know we shouldn’t feel so bad about what is “apparent” but it makes me uncomfortable anyway and was wondering if others experience this or have tips.

Bonjour à tous,

Une de mes amies proches s'est convertie récemment à l'islam.

C'est bientôt son anniversaire et j'aimerai lui faire un cadeau. J'avais pour idée de lui offrir un voile car je vois qu'elle porte souvent les deux mêmes depuis quelques mois.

Est-ce que vous pensez que c'est une bonne idée ou au contraire déplacé ?

Est-ce qu'il peut y avoir des motifs dessus ? Elle est passionnée par l'équitation et je me disais peut être un voile légèrement décoré avec des chevaux pourrait lui plaire.

Je vous remercie d'avance.

Growing up, I was never the "girly" type, but it never really bothered me. I knew I was smart and had a lot going for me. Now that I’m out of uni, though, I’ve started feeling really "masculine."

My partner loves me as I am, but I can’t stop comparing myself to the Hijabis I see on Instagram. They look so put-together with their effortless makeup, great style, and photogenic faces. Meanwhile, I just feel frumpy.

I take good care of my body and workout, but anything traditionally feminine just doesn't come naturally to me. I wear baggy clothes, I don't know the first thing about makeup, and I hate seeing photos of myself, my hands arent long or pretty. It’s really starting to mess with my self-esteem.

I’d love to tap into my feminine side, but I’m scared of losing who I am. I honestly can’t tell if I genuinely want this change, or if social media is just making me feel like I need to fit in.

I would appreciate any advice. How do I become more feminine? Please give me tips

Selam sisters! 🌺

I was raised muslim but our family was not hijabi or impose hijab on us, I guess because we also lived in a western country. Past 15 years of my life i walked away from Islam but Alhamdulillah I returned earlier this year, just before Ramadan.

Some recent life events brought me even closer and more seriously to Allah and I have been doing much better at praying consistently and improving my deen overall. I am not wearing hijab yet in public but I have been experimenting with it, i already wear modest loose type of clothes. For a long time I told myself that hijab is not really required but the more I get closer to Allah and read and learn, the more I understand it is about much more than just simply covering your head. When I try it on around the house, I feel so beautiful, clean and just overall at peace (this has been going on for 5-6 months now). So I am feeling a pull in my heart more and more to become a hijabi.

There are a number of issues I feel right now about it: i am scared and ashamed.

I am scared because I don’t want to become the poster muslim woman in my office (there are no other visible muslims), i am not ashamed of being muslim but i am just not ready to explain myself or deal with their staring yet. I live in a very catholic European country. I also don’t know any muslims except for my own family who lives in another country.

I am ashamed because I feel like i don’t deserve to wear a hijab and advertise I am a muslim since I am repenting a lot for my past but especially for my continued choices since I returned to Islam. I feel like it would be insulting to other hijabi sisters for me to dress as beautifully when for a long time i was not a good muslim. I am of course repenting and regretting, but I can’t shake this feeling. This is also why I am hesitant to join a local ummah community because i feel like i will break down and cry if i will be shown any sort of kindness and i will feel undeserving of it and like i will pretend to be “pure” and “clean”. And overall i don’t want to mislead anyone about it.

I also don’t want to just put my hijab on and then in a few weeks to take it off. I know there is no perfect moment, but I think the part that I am struggling with right now is just the overall shame i feel over my past and that I don’t feel like I am worthy of wearing it.

So I am reaching out because I would love your advice or to hear your stories, I noticed there is a lot of reverts as well here, so if you experienced similar thinking, how did you get past all of these feelings?

JazakAllahu khayran, sisters 🤍

Salam Aleikum Sisters. I am 16F and I have something where I am not sure if it halal or not. So basically my family has financial problems. Thats a big issue especially for us because we are 6 children. My mother cant work and my father is on his way to get a job but that money will still not suffice.
I am the second oldest daughter and I want to do something to help us go through this financial crisis together. I want to start a Minijob. Since I live in the west it’s really not easy finding a Muslim friendly working environment without Alkohol and haram products yk. But I found a sushi restaurant where they only sell like Fish. So no pork/ beef or Alkohol. I also really love sushi myself so I thought that it’s a good place. But they have certain sauces which contain traces of alcohol.

So I was wondering if it still would be halal for me to do this job. I am searching for a suitable job for long time now and I’m running out of options. Do you think that because my situation is desperate, that it’s ok?

I thank every sister who comments on my post to help me.

Salam.

I'm a 30yr old woman and am writing this post to warn younger folks, especially those who live in the West of what your life could turn out to be if you don't act fast.

Im the oldest child from a broken home (father ran off). I worked like crazy in my entire 20s to save for my mom and siblings and am now on path to early retirement.

My parents never let me have friends and I didn't speak to boys, even though I went to a regular highschool and university. COVID caused me to start remote work and I never met men at work either. My parents didn't know anyone and our household reputation is ruined.

My friends chatted with boys, some halal way some not, but now most are married or got arranged from their social circles and have kids and happy lives.

I got left behind because I put my head down and focused on getting out of poverty. I focused on school, on work, on being there for everyone. But no one bothered to check if I could also need someone. Actually since I barely leave my house, barely anyone knows I even exist.

To young people. Don't fall into Haram but don't isolate yourself so much that you will be left behind. Today I may appear to others as a successful woman. I have money to buy anything at anytime but nobody to support me, less and less chance of having kids, and constantly taunted and pitied by family and others for being old and unwanted.

Please marry young. You will be rewarded with rizq if you are sincere towards your family. In shaa ALLAH.

AlhamduLillah for everything and please make Dua for me and all those who are looking for spouses.

I usually wear a tank top / vest underneath my t-shirts or whatever im wearing at home instead of any type of bra. Its comfortable, does the job of hiding the chest area , like nipple exposing through t-shirts.

But because its extremely hot right now i dont want to wear them because they are fitted vests. Its so hot I just want to wear a tshit by itself. But I noticed in the mirror the shape of my nipples can be seen through and anytime I move, my breast movements can also be noticed more clearly.

I live with my parents and sibilings (im 18). They're all mahrams and don't really care about things like this, they wouldn't find it weird or comment. But me personally, I feel awkward and uncomfortable if know my chest area is shown more visibly because im wearing nothing but a tshirt.

Any suggestions on what to wear underneath that is breathable in summer? What do you guys wear at home? Or do I just need a thicker tshirt? Something that hides the nipple and natural "jiggle" movements. Sorry if im describing it weirdly, this is intended for women only.

Salam Sisters

I’m a revert and have worn hijab for almost seven years, this past month I finally switched to Khimar/jilbab and have been loving it. But i’m having a serious issue with it slipping back, with or without an undercap, and every day this week my scalp has ached by the time I get home from pulling and readjusting throughout the day. I’m tying the strings inside at the back of my head so not sure if there’s a secret way to tie it that i’m missing.

my Khimar completely fall off the other day when I was watching my niece at the park, I haven’t had something like that happen since I first started wearing hijab as a teen. And I’m worried about traction alopecia if I keep pulling at the front. I think wearing my hair in a braid instead of a bun might help and is something i’ve wanted to try more anyways but any other advice on material or technique would be really appreciated.

There’s this top I reaaalllyyy want but it’s got a lowish square neck AND back. I hate how just wearing t shirts under things look - does anyone have any like creative ideas on how to make this work?

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my period has been on going and it's now the 15th day. my question is do i do ghusl in the morning like fajr time of the 15th day or do i wait until the end of the day like Isha time so the full 15th day has passed. I've heard two options one is do it at the start of the 15th day the other said wait until the whole day is over or almost over. so what do i do?

Assalamualaikum,

I hope everyone is doing well.

I have been with my partner for two years, and since around our six-month mark, I have been hoping and asking for an engagement. His parents initially resisted because he was still in university, and they wanted him to graduate and start working first, which I completely understood. He graduated and started working in June, but he currently has approximately $400,000 in debt from medical school.

My dad recently called his dad and said that now that he has graduated and started working, he felt it was a good time for them to formally come and ask for my hand. They agreed and planned to come yesterday.

Last week, our fathers discussed mahr. My dad said he was not asking for any muqaddam or anything else, but only a mo’akh of $500,000. He told his father, “I am so confident in their relationship that we will never even ask for the mo’akh because it will never reach that point, but he needs to have a leg for his daughter to stand on.”

His father immediately rejected this and said that we were asking for too much. His offer was a paid-off house and a small wedding.

My dad said they would think about it.

Yesterday, when they came over, the issue of mahr was brought up again. His father said that they could not give me mahr. He said, “My son is a doctor. If they get divorced, the Canadian government is going to take half of his assets and give them to your daughter, so there is no reason for a mo’akh. I need to protect my son.”

Because of this, they were not open to offering either a muqaddam or mo’akh, and they also did not bring a ring.

Ultimately, the engagement did not go through because his father said he was not willing to negotiate mahr and felt that he was already giving enough by offering a house and paying for a wedding.

My dad’s concern is that his son is currently $400,000 in debt. If, God forbid, something happened within the first year or two of marriage while he was still paying off that debt, I could potentially be left without much financial security. My dad also says that in our family, it has never happened that a daughter was married without a mahr, so he feels strongly that he cannot give his daughter away without one.

For additional context, his family is very wealthy. They have three paid-off houses in Canada, his father is a doctor, his mother works and earns a substantial income, and they also have three paid-off properties in Dubai. My family is also financially comfortable—we have a paid-off house in Dubai and are currently paying off two houses in Canada.

I am genuinely looking for unbiased opinions, because I am having a hard time understanding this situation emotionally.

Is my dad being unreasonable by insisting on a mahr? Is the $500,000 mo’akh an unreasonable request, even if we are not asking for a muqaddam? Or is his family being unreasonable by refusing to offer or negotiate a mahr altogether?

And honestly, one of the things I am struggling with the most is the mindset behind it. I keep thinking: Why are they so concerned about protecting themselves from a divorce when we are not entering this marriage expecting or planning to divorce? Mahr is a requirement in our family and something that the men in my family have always given when getting married. To us, asking for a mo’akh is not an indication that we expect the marriage to fail or that we are planning for divorce. It is simply a form of financial security and a religious/cultural requirement.

I also find myself wondering why my partner is already thinking about what happens if we divorce. I understand that he has significant debt and that his parents want to protect him financially, but emotionally, it is difficult for me to hear that reasoning when I am simply asking for something that has always been considered part of marriage in my family.

I would really appreciate honest and unbiased perspectives. I am not looking for people to automatically take my side. If you think my dad’s request is excessive, please tell me. If you think his family’s refusal is unreasonable, please tell me that too.

I would especially appreciate perspectives from people who understand both the Islamic concept of mahr and how marriage/divorce and financial rights work in Canada, because I want to understand whether I am looking at this emotionally or whether my concerns are actually reasonable.

Asalamaulaikum sisters! I hope you’re all doing well Insha Allah. I wanted to ask for those of you with adhd how do you manage your Salah? I’m struggling so badly and sometimes even end up missing them due to mental and physical exhaustion. I have started doing tayamum sometimes instead of wudhu because that makes it easier. But I’d really appreciate any tips. Also please be kind and non judgmental! ADHD is literally a mental disability and not even medication can fix this.

does anyone have tips on running while wearing the hijab? i recently started running inside on the treadmill without hijab but when i do runs outside it’s like a million times harder and i finish literally soaked in sweat like genuine water it’s insane and i just don’t see the progress i’ve been making running inside when i do runs outside.

Salaam!

I work in healthcare and have worn modal hijabs for the longest time. But I find I don’t have time in the morning to steam them everytime. I’m thinking of switching to jersey, but am worried it might get too hot/heavy.

For my healthcare sisters which hijab material do you prefer? Any solution to the wrinkly modal issue?

I hope this is okay to ask here or at all. I understand if this not the place or not my business at all.

I just moved colleges and the majority of my campus are muslim women. We're entering windy season now and I noticed a lot of my hijabi classmates double checking in the mirror every other break.

Since it seems important, I wonder the polite "girls' girl" thing to do as a classmate is to discretely let them know if I notice their hair showing? Or, since it's a personal thing, should I not bring it up?

English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any typos