u/high_ground_user

Honestly, I do not want to come across as vain. But he is obese (130kg at 170cm). I told him before that he should try to at least go under 100kg. He has been going to the gym and cycling, and for a while he was counting calories and managed to become 114kg. I was hopeful that he could be a normal weight in 3 years or so.

But recently he gained the weight back. I talked to him again and he said he does not want to lose weight and be skinny. He is scared that he will lose his identity and turn into a completely different person. From what he observed around him, once people become skinny they lose their joy and become serious (his words).

I understand a drastic change to your life can be scary. But I am ashamed of being seen with him. I obviously cant tell him this. My parents also dont like that he is obese, and my mom says if he doesnt lose weight I will be influenced by him and become obese.

How do I convince him? He already goes to the gym to become stronger, but he isnt interested in losing weight. Should I tell him that I straight up an not attracted to him anymore? I dont want to hurt him and make it seem like my love is dependent on his looks.

He is also a lot healthier than me, so I cant tell him that it is unhealty. He gets regular check ups and it seems he is really healthy.

Please dont remove this, I really need some adivce 🤲

My friends have been complaining about getting sunburned recently, and I realized I have never experienced this. Am I really lucky or is it normal for hijabis? I feel really grateful, since it seems to be painful

If you write me your adress, I will also send something to you

I collect stamps and I have quite a few unused old ones that are no longer valid. I also got a few vintage postcards from a second hand shop. I thought I could put the stamps on the postcards and send it in an envelope, so that the beautiful unused stamps in my collection also get to travel. How would you feel if you recieved a card like this? I also thought about faking the cancellation marks to make it seem as if it has actually traveled like a normal postcard.

I have gotten into postcrossing lately, and I have had such a hard time finding stamps to put on my cards. Maybe its only the case in my country, but here noone uses stamps anymore, so the post office just prints the postage onto the card with a machine. I find this so disappointing, but i can also understand that there isnt much demand for it here. I wish there would be a way to get pretty stamps :( I looked into it, and it seems that the US has lots of cute designs, sigh... I am so jealous!

I am a very socially anxious person and I usually do not know what is appropriate to write or not. I feel like being to familiar in the writing would maybe not be liked as much, but when I think about it, I'd love to get a warm message from a stranger. What do you think? Also, what if I don't have anything the person says they want? Where I live stamps are a dying breed, so I would send most of my postcards unstamped, is that okay?

thank you if you consider sending me something! I especially love cards with puzzles on them (like crosswords or wordsearches) if you have those

I had a really bad experience at the gynocologist today and I wonder what the doctor was thinking. Calling me stupid and incompetent isnt going to make me do what you say, its going to make me never go to a doctor again

I am uneducated when it comes to pmos and treatments of it, so I tend to want to believe doctors but it seemed strange to me. She said I need to sleep during nights (I generally dont), excercise and lose weight (I am 75kg, 162cm), fix my diet and eat healthy, fix my relationship with my mom and stop stressing about not wanting kids (she said our body reflects of thoughts, so i need to allign my thinking with my biological reality, she also recommended that I read Bruce Liptons books but I googled him and it seems he is a pseudoscientist?). She said after I fix all of these things, I need to come back (in 2 months) so she can see if i have any underlying issues that caused the pmos or if it was my lifestyle. Is this the normal procedure? When I googled it, it said that generally a better lifestyle could make pmos less severe. I am just a bit confused

Edit: Thank you for all the responses, Ive read all of them! I definitely will be getting a second opinion, and also try to have a better lifestyle

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

I wanted to share this as a reminder for any young brothers here.

If you gaze at a woman for long enough that you can see flaws in her hijab, you are sinning. Lowering your gaze is a public obligation for men, and it should be a priority to obey Allah (swt) in this manner.

Even if you lose discipline and sin, it is not appropriate for you to talk to this sister casually. Men and women are instructed to keep appropriate distance and to not talk casually unless it necessary to do so. You are neither her mahram, nor another sister.

I specified young men, as in my experience older muslims are more aware of boundaries between women and men. I have witnessed men chatting up women/starting a conversation and using faul language while talking to them (astaghfirullah).

I think this is seen as normal because of wester media influence. It is normalized to cause fitnah and we are getting farther away from our deen, so our priority should be keeping our gazes and our hearts clean. Brothers should prioritize correcting other mens behavior in private.

JazakAllah khair

I am a masculine presenting woman and people refer to me as they/them all of the time. When I correct them, they say "oh, i use that for everyone". Be for real. Never have you used they/them for a feminine presenting woman. If you continue using the wrong pronouns even after I corrected you just shows that you dont consider me as a woman. My gender expression doesnt make me less of a woman. Just wanted to rant (also it feels intentional, as if to "punish" me for not presenting traditionally, since actual non binary people get misgendered all of the time too)

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXITYzFBJp0/?igsh=bGNlaGI4MWsxeDdo

Noone cares or thinks about what men wear. If he wears a turban for his religion, he is disciplined and respectable. If we do the same, we are being forced to, because women obviously have no autonomy ever. If we were men, noone would care how covered up or how naked we are. It always makes me mad. Leave us alone, we can think for ourselves.

We grew up like siblings and they are married. I dont want to wear a hijab in my own home when they visit, because of the implications and bc its hot. If we meet outside, i dont mind since i need to wear it anyways. But wearing it BECAUSE of them is weird. It creeps me out. I never grew up in a society where it was normal for cousins to marry and have children. Now when my relatives visit i dont go to see them at all. My parents want me to just put up with it so they can see me, but id rather not. I would not wear it if they were okay with that, but they wont let me see them without hijab

So, i got my hands on some saffron i would like to send to my penpals (canada and the EU) in my envelope. I understand you would have to declare it, but its less than a gram so i really dont want to pay the cost. Would this get flagged? If you have any experience with this please let me know. I have sent teabags before which are technically also bio material but i understand its not the same, as it is factory packaged.

Is wearing a muscle suit to do a cosplay haram for women? Its not for deception or showing off, its just for a cosplay, and since i would not be showing any skin would it be permissible?

For anyone curious ive been wanting to cosplay the minotaur from "dave made a maze".

Everytime I pray, it feels like I am performing for someone, even when noone is around. I have stopped going to mosques since it makes this feeling worse. At home, I have to pray when noone is noticing or else it feels like I am performing for my family. When I am alone I just go through the notions but I dont really feel anything, I just get it over with. Help me please

Hello all, me and my boyfriend have been considering marriage for a while now. He is swiss and wants us to settle down in switzerland but i am turkish and i have heard that in europe lately people really dont want to see any immigrants anymore. I have looked online and most of the posts i have seen are in the same sentiment. I have informed him that i would be more comfortable if we stayed in turkey, but he said its not a big deal since i know german and switzerland is safer than turkey in general. For him staying in turkey is harder since he doesnt speak the language at all.

I know that a lot of people would think i am crazy for not accepting but i dont want to feel like an outsider in my home.

I would mostly appreciate any responses from hijabi women in switzerland, what are your experiences? Do you feel comfortable walking outside?