r/MedicalPTSD

I’m 33 almost 34 and I don’t know when the last time I went to PP or any doctor.
Please don’t judge, I have EXTREME medical phobia;I was in a horrible hit n run crossing my street in Brooklyn 5 years ago. Brain damage, broken neck and my leg was shattered into bits. Spending almost 2 months .
I can do the dentist now and psych and therapist but I’m stuck on every else. My anxiety is through te roof.
I want to make an appointment at PP, they have always been lovely but I still feel judged and what are they going to find? Cancer?
I’m thinking taking my Ativan and bringing my partner( he knows legit everything about me)I’m just so fucking scared.
Has anyone felt like this and been ever over come it?

Wondering if people have ever gone to a appointment, expecting it to go like usual, but then their doctor starts the visit visibly angry at you, uses a hostile and angry tone; acts impatient, frustrated, and irritated with you, and essentially is indirectly accusing you (the patient) of having done something wrong prior to your visit?

TW: SUICIDE MENTION

I am 16 years old girl who’s a virgin and underwent a gynecological procedure during which my uterus was cleaned and an IUD (intrauterine device) was placed. Before the procedure, I was not given a clear explanation of what exactly would happen. I was not told that a speculum would be used. If I had known this, I would have objected.
I had also stated beforehand that I did not want my hymen to be damaged. Despite this, no further explanation or reassurance was given about how the procedure would take place or what it would mean for me.
When I was in the operating room, I suddenly felt very anxious and overwhelmed. At that moment, I repeatedly and clearly said that they needed to stop. I was crying, pulling away, turning my head away, and trying to physically get out of the situation. I was therefore expressing both verbally and physically that I did not want this and that I wanted it to stop.
Despite my clear resistance, they did not stop. My mother gave them a nod to keep going but I clearly yelled to stop and pulled my legs and everything away. Instead, anesthesia was administered through an IV while I was still saying that I did not want to continue. This makes me feel like I was not listened to and that my boundaries were ignored.
Afterwards, I feel very bad about what happened. I feel like something was done to my body without my real consent or without me understanding what was going to happen. This gives me a feeling of violation, helplessness, and loss of control. It keeps replaying in my head, especially the moment where I kept saying they had to stop and this did not happen.
This experience has affected me both emotionally and mentally and makes me feel unsafe and not respected. So of course I kept cramping, not a month later I went again because I ended up in the hospital only to find out my IUD dropped to my cervix and had to be removed. The female gyno even told me I’m old and mature enough to get it removed. She said she had been working there for 25+ years but I could see she clearly barely had teenagers come. I even got an infection when they put the IUD in me. I had contacted the hospital through mail, explained everything but still no response after a month. I feel disgusted to the point I even tried to take my own life. What do I do?

I started finding myself frustrated when I speak of my problems and pain. I really don’t like having to repeat it anymore. I’ve been to enough Doctors, and other medical professionals that it feels scripted with a dash of “But wait there’s more”! I typically get ignored or them to say “I’ve never seen that happen before” and it to be not brought up again.
When I spoke with family about it, they usually acted like I didn’t know what I was talking about, say “You’re gonna have to figure something out, or suck it up”.
It’s extremely frustrating when no one is listening, or acting like it isn’t that bad.

What is the acceptable amount of pain that I need to accept from sex? I've been told 4/10 is the treatment goal. Am I being unreasonable for thinking that I should be treated as if the goal is 0 pain for an activity that is supposed to be pleasurable? Am I wrong? I feel like I've just been whining about nothing my whole life and I'm just too much of a wimp to ha doe something nobody else has ever had a problem with. Have I been lied to? Please just tell me the truth.