u/heretoloveandsupport

About 6 weeks ago, I started slipping into one of my Major Depressive episodes and when that happens, the first to go due to the depression is self care. Well, I’m chronically ill with life threatening illnesses and part of my self care is taking my medications. So lately, I’ve been taking them only occasionally and irregularly which is stupid and extremely irresponsible.

One of those medications is a blood thinner called Eliquis. Well, today I had a CT of my chest which showed the reason for the increase in some of my symptoms recently was…MULTIPLE BLOOD CLOTS THROUGHOUT MY CHEST.

It’s a terrifying thought and my neuro is consulting with a hematologist tomorrow to see if I need to be admitted for 24/7 IV blood thinners. But this is all the result of my severe depression. I haven’t cared to do anything. Not even take 5 minutes taking the medication that keeps me alive. I’m so embarrassed, incredibly ashamed, feel a lot of guilt and also just plain stupid.

None of which is helping my depression. Thanks for letting me vent though.