r/majordepressive

Does anybody have advice for mornings? I can't tell if it's from the depression or poor sleep or from medication but I am so slow and unmotivated in the morning. I want to rest so so bad but when I let myself drink tea on the couch I stay there for hours, like I can't move. By the end of the day I have more energy and feel better, well someday at least. Do I need structure? And how?!? Was thinking I could try to make myself walk the dog right away. Anybody else feel this way or have advice?

Hi all,

Checking if anyone on similar boat?

In addition to sertraline, mirtzapine, prazosin, propranolol, quetapine (when needed) doctor added 5mg abilify.

Been on abilify for a month, side effects seems to have gone but in terms of positive effect I only seem to have energy boost but not motivation or mood. Other meds didnt even help me with those energy boost until abilify. I think its making difference but feels like body wants to move but i still dont have motivation and mood remains low to the point where I fall back to bed and its weird feeling that I feel like i have energy but not mood.

Intrusive thoughts doesn't seem to go away at all as theres so much triggers.

So, this is going to be incredibly hard to write, but I’ve kept this bottled up for so long and I feel like I’m completely drowning.

​I’m a 19-year-old guy, 5’5” tall, and weigh 110 lbs. Honestly? I feel completely invisible, or worse, like pure oxygen. I don’t have a life, and the truth is, I don’t even know how to begin having one. It feels like everyone around me treats me horribly, and no matter how hard I try to stand up for myself or just fit in, I can never get others to show me basic human respect. Constant rejection and cruelty have completely destroyed my self-confidence, leaving me with such extreme social anxiety that just the thought of stepping outside or interacting with people makes my chest tight.

​I simply can’t function socially anymore. I don’t know how to talk to people my own age because every time I’ve tried, it feels like they look down on me or treat me with pure malice. It’s a vicious cycle—the more badly I'm treated, the more I withdraw, and the lonelier I get.

​I’ve finally reached my absolute limit. I can’t take this constant pain anymore. I don’t think I’ve ever been this close to what you know because, honestly, it feels impossible to see a future where it's worth living like this. I am completely desperate, and the weight of my reality is crushing me. To make things worse, I haven’t even finished high school yet, I have zero friends to turn to, and I literally have no social life whatsoever. I am entirely on my own.

​I just needed to vent about the roots of this deep depression—the kind that leaves me completely overwhelmed, crying for hours on end every single day, wondering what I did to deserve this.

​If you read all of this, thank you so much for taking the time to listen to someone who feels completely insignificant to the rest of the world.

Got diagnosed with depression and had visible scars on my wrist, somehow my parents still don't believe i got depression nd that depression is real. I'm genuinely exhausted and tired I don't think I'll make it till next month

Title: I feel like I’m mentally disappearing inside my own life

I don’t even know how to explain what’s been happening to me for the past few months. I feel like I’m forgetting who I am. Some days genuinely feel unreal, like I’m living in a dream and just moving through it without feeling connected to anything. I barely sleep. I don’t feel rested anymore.

I live in a very controlled environment. My parents monitor everything I do. I’m not allowed to go out freely, meet friends, wear what I want, eat what I want, or even spend my own money without being questioned. I work and earn well, but I still feel like I own nothing in my life. Even small things feel controlled and watched all the time.

Every weekend has become pressure about marriage and meeting new people when I’m already mentally exhausted. I don’t want marriage right now. I want freedom. I want to travel, make memories, meet people naturally, experience life, and figure myself out before being pushed into another responsibility.

Meanwhile everyone around me moved on with life. Friends got married, moved abroad, got busy with work, and I feel left behind emotionally. I keep looking for validation and emotional connection outside because I don’t feel emotionally understood where I am.

The stress is affecting me physically too. My hair is falling, I feel exhausted constantly, and I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I feel trapped between wanting a completely different life and not knowing how to even begin changing mine.

Has anyone else experienced feeling emotionally trapped inside a life that looks “normal” from outside? How did you start rebuilding yourself mentally when you felt completely stuck?

I am 25, plus size, transgender, non-binary, auDHD, chronically ill, and severely mentally ill. I have been diagnosed with the following: MDD, ADHD, C-PTSD, Insomnia, Autism, GAD, Rheumatoid Arthritis, hyper mobile Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, and am working with my psych and therapist about a potential BPD diagnosis. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 12 and hospitalized due to SH and an attempt. I have had multiple attempts and relapses of SH as well as hospitalizations because of SI. I have been on Prozac, Celexa, Zoloft, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Amitriptyline, Abilfy, and am currently on Pristiq and Latuda. I am in the process of getting on disability due to the combination of my conditions. I am located in the central US. I have no hope of my life getting better at all. The state of the world, the state of the US, the state of Oklahoma, and the state of my physical and mental conditions have had no improvement since I’ve become cognizant. People keep telling me “it’ll get better.” It’s been 13 years and, while yes there are periods of remission, it doesn’t last more than 2 months, it hasn’t gotten better. I have less rights now than when I was a teenager. I can barely function let alone work. Nothing brings me joy anymore. I love to cosplay and going to conventions, I went to one last month and felt nothing expected regret. I didn’t even want to be there, at a place that has always brought me joy and happiness. I don’t even like being in costume at conventions anymore which was the whole point to me of cosplaying. I don’t have a purpose and even when I try to think of one, the only reason I haven’t done anything is because no one would take care of my pets. I feel like a burden to my family, my friends, and my community. I’m so tired of living and being stuck in this body. I am constantly suffering and there is no reward for any of it. I started looking into MAID last month because my therapist mentioned it in passing that he had patients talking about it. I don’t even know why I get out of bed other than I don’t want to be ridiculed by my mother. I went back to school last year and have taken on a bunch of student loans but I haven’t even been doing good in school or enjoyed learning like I used to. I just see it as something I have to do because I’m paying for it with loans. Nothing makes me feel “good” besides petting my cat or holding her, she is my world and i wouldn’t be here without her.
I wanted to just have a place to vent but I don’t have close friends anymore since my breakup last year and the friends I had before the relationship don’t even reach out to me. I’m not asking for anything, and if you read this far thank you. I just wanted to talk to people who may understand what it’s like to live in constant hell.

I don’t know if it’s my medication but I am feeling very impulsive, restless and very energetic, I also feel a strange high and happiness. I hate how distracted I feel right now too I’m trying to enjoy videos but I can’t pay attention. Does anyone have any idea what it could be?