I feel hollow but I’m ashamed to admit it.
A little info about me. I’m a working guy in my early 20s, I live with a couple other people, but otherwise would say I have no true friends/partner. I just want to get this off my chest for a change and finally speak about my life.
I work most days, typically having 1-2 days off, split up in the week, but outside of work I have nothing. I just waste my time and life doing nothing to the point where I have been neglecting myself for over a year now and don’t know how to change. My diet is horrific, self hygiene isn’t much better, even doing laundry is something that I just can’t bring myself to do sometimes. I’ll know it needs doing, and want so badly to do it, but can’t physically bring myself to do so and then I’ll feel bad for not having done it.
I don’t even think theres anything brings me any sort of joy or happiness anymore. Hobbies and interests I used to love now mean nothing to me. I do enjoy when I go out and see people etc but more often than not it’s like I lost my passion for life and everything in it. I don’t feel liked or loved anymore, by myself, colleagues, not even by my family.
Frankly, I miss the times where I knew everything was going to be okay. Whereas now, sometimes I don’t even know if I want to see the end of the days I’m in. I know that these things get easier and you learn to live with it in time, but I don’t know where to even start. No one close to me truly knows that this is how I feel, they know I have mental health problems and stuff, but that tends to be it. I’ve tried speaking to people about this stuff before but ultimately I feel like that does nothing for me besides making people worry, or they’ll judge my situation and think less or differently of me for it all.