r/bullying

There is this 30 year old dude who for some reason doesnt like me and tries at every opportunity to dig at me infront of his peer group which is like 10 years younger then him lol. There was even one incident where i came late for an exam a couple minutes prior and he screamed myname and laughed extremely loudly while a professor was present, i hate being put on the spot infront of others and people could see that it affected me. He got shamed by hisown friends afterward and reprimended by the prof and was so overwhelmed apparently that he cut off his waist long hair he had most of his life immediately after but still he tries to dig at me with subtle comments at every opportunity i usually just ignore him and try not to interact. His hatred from me probably came because i ignored him at first when he tried to befriend me and once corrected a mistake in his work loudly infront of his peers.

I was going through old photos and I kept seeing the “friend” who bullied, harassed, and assaulted me. My heart rate jumped every time and I felt… almost afraid or maybe nervous? Idk I think I might have some PTSD. I didn’t get any support before or after the incident. Before the incident happened my parents and friends shrugged it off or flat out ignored me despite me saying how uncomfortable and anxious he made me feel. And then once the incident happened my parents didn’t say anything and my friend group self destructed for a completely different (and incredibly stupid and petty) reason, and nobody said anything to me. I wasn’t seeing my therapist at the time either.

This guy had been insinuating that I was ugly, stupid, and unlikeable for months. He made gross comments comparing the size and shape of my body to his. He would literally scream and yell at me if I said or did something he didn't like. One time everyone was getting on to him for being an asshole and I was pissed so I put my fist down on the table and he **screamed at me and only me.** Not the people who were telling him to stop being an asshole, **just me**. And then nobody said or did anything, they didn't tell him off for screaming at me, nobody stood up for me.

One day I finally cracked and started telling him off. He fucking threw a chair, grabbed me and hit me, and then fell on the floor and cried when I didn't back down from telling him how much of a piece of shit he was. What made it worse was that the reason he hit me was because I was standing up for “our” other friends he was bragging about harassing. But nobody stood up for me when he had yelled and screamed and insulted me when everyone was watching. Those friends I stood up for barely talked to me afterwards. The people who watched me get bullied and assaulted went on like nothing happened. My ex, whose birthday it was, COMPLAINED ABOUT **NOT GETTING PRESENTS** AFTER WATCHING ME GET **ASSAULTED**. My ex is FUCKING 18.

Why the hell did nobody care about how I was being treated, why did everyone forget about me getting assaulted and just move on without a word? **Why was I standing up for people when I was the one getting bullied?**

Hello

I live in Adelaide in a very small housing trust complex. For 8 and half years my mentally challenged bully toxic neighbour who is 63 and lives with his father across from me has been everyday constantly bullying and trying to intimate me. He's father abused the mother when alive, if she was in the toilet for more than 10 seconds he would bang on door to hurry up. So a family that's very unhinged. The bully has the mental capacity of a 2 year old. But plays games with me and try's to scare me with other mental health drug neighbours who are very unhinged. He thinks we are in some delusional marriage from day one. I do everything to ignore him. He smashes everything up violently if I go out my front door and god help me if I clean my bird bath or my own driveway. He will stalk, follow me if I try to go to letterbox. He thinks he's the caretaker, cause he sucks up and brings other neighbours bins in so he think he has the power. He will walk past my place and try for any attention. My friend has to come and do my bins and check my mail as I'm terrified of this bully. He is skinny but his mannerisms are toxic. He hangs all his clothing on the gutter of the roof and thinks it's normal. He uses it as a excuse to keep an eye on my bedroom and who comes and goes. Any noise from my place he smashes everything in his back yard to try and intimate me. If I click open my front door he will voilent come flying out his front door or roller door and start smashing up the bins he has put in his driveway on purpose as an excuse. This is all the tip of the iceberg. I have to put on a hat to cover my face and walk around outside with music blaring in my ears to stop the harrassing. He does it to no other neighbour but me. I am his victim. He has past episodes of other victims. Police are useless. Housing trust are completely useless. I've made over 500 complaints and they ignore me, lie and do everything in their power to shut me down. My local MP have said they are not going to help me. The ombudsman are useless and so is the minister of housing. I've done the complaints process in all (twice) and gotten no where. I can't get cameras as he told his drug jail bird idiot out the front who came and threaten for me to take them down, they were fake and not facing complex, but my stalker and the drug dealer have them up, go figure. He will either scream his head off if u try to talk to him or lay on the ground and stamp his legs and feet and say..your a cry baby. If I come back to here, the hell hole and pull in my back yard he will get in his back yard and yell...over and over..ohhhh, there you are. Very creepy. His father is dying of dementia so unfortunately that's his excuse to be there. I am so stressed and depressed every single day. I can't move out due to housing crisis. No friends are suitable to stay with or family. Can't afford private rent. I'm on stupid category 1 with housing trust 4 5 years now. They don't care AT ALL. I can't go live in my car or on the street as my beautiful light..my cat will not understand and I wouldn't do that to my cat. I can't commit suicide. Try to get him mental assessed but that was useless. So after 8 and half terrifying toxic years I've decided to try for a restraining order. But there's people saying, be careful you could get repercussions but I can't keep living life this way as this is not a life. I'm trying to do chemotherapy and I so stressed. I just feel like dying and there doesn't seem to be a way out. I've tried everything and made millions of calls for 8 and half years crying out for help. I've had suicidal thoughts for years, no wonder. Don't have family except my toxic mother. It's effecting everyday of my life. I have many counsellors. Support letters galore. I want to be brave and get my power back by getting a restraining order, I have a few key witnesses throughout this time but also this one friend is throwing me off by saying there will be big trouble. He's a very sick boy this stalker. He used to harrass the local coles staff and threaten them etc (surprise surprise) and he told me about 8 years ago he wrote to the CEO of coles telling them how to bend him over and do sexual acts on him. He was going to organise a home invasion on a past tenant as had autism and made noise. He's a theif, a snitch ( she said this and he said that etc) he put 12 inches on his bin and faced it towards my place. He's dislussional, paranoid, mental health, autism, asberg, you name it but he knows EXACTLY what he's doing when he comes flying out that front door or roller door to trauma me. He spits everywhere and in my driveway. He's a utter pig. I've told him forever to leave me alone. He'll spray a can of deodorant on himself to try and impress me. It's endless over the years. I have nightmares about him most nights. I have to drive past his father's going out and coming back in, I cover my face side on to stop him looking at me. We are now unfortunately in daylight savings so he runs around with just shorts on. He is 20kg and disgusting. I've blocked off all my front area to stop him being nosey. He tries to be nosey with me and steals my mail and pamphlets. The one neighbour who supported me who lived across from me passes away 4 weeks ago so I'm feeling even more vulnerable as stalker prays on me even more. Please help with advice. I'm a vulnerable female with many health conditions. The one male that comes here gets harrassed by him and has many health problems now so he can't protect me now. Thank you. Sorry for so long of a rant.

I’m 19M and was molested every day in my college(a year ago) because apparently my body is “feminine”.

For context, I take strong meds because of a condition which I have and the meds have caused gynecomastia (or man boobs). I can’t even begin to count the number of dirty crude jokes, the number of times I was groped, pinched, humiliated publicly by all my bullies

for them my body was just for them to laugh at and touch. I know i’m a coward for not reporting it, I know.

I haven’t seen my body for a long time without clothes, i feel disgusted, my body is disgusting, j feel their hands on my chest, I can hear all the filthy jokes they cracked at my expense while they groped me.

I feel like I don’t deserve to be with anyone, someone like me and as broken as me shouldn’t. I just wish I had a normal life

They can say the meanest, most vile, and cruel things, and yet you’re expected to just take it. Especially if you retaliate fully (not recommended or condoned) or just put up little resistance, suddenly you’re the villain and they are the victim. They present themselves as being the victim the entire time to your unfair behaviour.
They certainly have a talent to manipulate and distort the narrative in a way that you are the perpetrator and aggressor, while they are the helpless victim. They leave out the part where they kept provoking and antagonizing you, which you are then told to just ignore them or be the “bigger person”. The abuse gets so bad that you eventually snap (rightfully so) then you’re the bully while the real bully gets off completely Scott free. The victim is then persecuted because of how they reacted to the abuse. You end up getting called unhinged, a liar, or a hypocrite because you insulted them back; all the while they claim with complete conviction that you are the one doing all those things to them. The tactic they use is called the Wounded Gazelle Gambit, or “cry-bully” tactic, where they reverse the victim and offender roles. Even if they were presented the uncomfortable truth with evidence, there is always an explanation or excuse; rules for the but not for me.
You’re supposed to pretend like nothing is wrong and are obligated to apologize to them so you can possibly receive better treatment or respect from them. However it’s just another manipulation tactic so the bully doesn’t have to be accountable for anything they’ve done. In the mean time they’re allowed to treat you worse by insulting, smearing and mocking you further. Bullies believe all the lies they spread about you like it’s gospel truth which to them is entirely true in their self deluded minds. To them you are fake and a manipulator because you’re cordial with everyone else but them, leaving out the complete context of the situation as to why you act differently around them. Therefore you are just a mean person instead of someone standing up for yourself. It’s a double edged sword, you’re damned if you do stand up to them and you’re damned if you do nothing.
If you really look at it they do have some narcissistic tendencies, however not all bullies are narcissists just to be clear. There is a whole difference from the actual personality disorder to someone who just displays some characteristics of narcissism, that is why I’m suggesting not to diagnose someone immediately. Take their actions for what they actually are which is outright abusive and unacceptable period.
Thank you to everyone for taking the time to read through my rant, I needed to get some things off my chest and I hope this helps at least one person who is experiencing this.

TLDR; Bullies reverse the roles of victim and offender where the victim is presented as the true bully, and the bully as the innocent victim that can do no wrong. They expect you to be nice and apologize to them despite their perpetually horrible treatment towards you. In their minds you are the problem.

I’m currently in college and I’ve been struggling a lot with loneliness, and I think a big part of it comes from what happened to me in high school.

In high school, I was bullied pretty badly. There were stories posted about me, a lot of people in my grade disliked me, and there were a lot of different things going around about me. I did have a few friends — probably 2 or 3 people I was actually close to — but I’m no longer friends with any of them.

One of those friendships was especially significant because she had been my best friend for around 14–15 years. We basically grew up together. But towards the end of high school, I found out that she had been talking badly about me, my family, and very personal things about my life. She was even joking about things I had gone through and things I had considered traumatic with random people online and people she barely knew.

It completely broke my trust in her. She apologized multiple times, but I couldn’t forgive her, and eventually the friendship ended. I don’t regret walking away, but losing a friendship that had existed for most of my life was obviously a huge thing.

Now I’m in college, and technically, I’m not completely alone. I have people I talk to, people I can hang out with, and I’m friendly with quite a few people. But I still feel extremely lonely.
I think part of it is that I don’t have that one person or small group that feels like home. I also constantly compare my current friendships to what I used to have, even though I know that isn’t necessarily fair because those friendships took years to develop.

Sometimes I look around and feel like everyone else already has their people — their best friends from home, their established groups, people they can call whenever something happens — and I feel like I’m trying to build something from scratch while also carrying all this baggage from what happened before.

I guess what I’m wondering is: does this actually get better?
For people who had a really bad social experience in high school, lost their childhood friendships, or entered college feeling like they had no real friends — did you eventually find your people? Did college get easier socially as you got older?

I don’t necessarily need advice on how to make friends. I think I mostly want to hear from people who have actually been through something similar and know whether it eventually feels less lonely.

I've noticed on a lot of subs almost every time someone posts they immediately get 2 downvotes and none of their comments get likes compared to people that are responding. Then any upvotes get evened out by downvotes like people make it a challenge to not let OP gain any votes/karma

Is there some kind of mentality behind it or something because just calling them "trolls" feels like telling a kid to shrug off a bully because "they've got a crush" or "boys will be boys"🙄