A toxic group of kids is systematically ruining my life with extreme bullying and hate speech. I need serious advice.
Everything started because I don’t have a mobile phone yet. My family wants me to wait until I am older, which is a perfectly normal boundary, but this one kid who is only 9 years old already has a phone and uses it like a weapon. He started constantly mocking me, degrading me, and picking on me just for not having a device. Then, he teamed up with another kid at school who actively fakes having ADHD just to manipulate the system and get special classroom breaks. This isn't even the first time I've had to deal with him; this same kid who claims to have ADHD used to bully me ruthlessly at our old school before we even moved here. He has brought that old hatred with him, and instead of using his classroom breaks to calm down, they use them to target me, follow me, and harass me.
It has now mutated into full-on group harassment. The main bully recruited a whole crowd of other kids to join in and turn the school against me. They use the most disgusting, vile, and prejudiced language you can imagine. They shout extremely racist, sexist, and hateful things. They constantly target me and shout abuse at me just because I support Southampton FC. When the main kid gets called out by staff, he uses his actual condition as a shield. He smirks and says "I can’t help it" to completely escape accountability, even though it is 100% planned and targeted malice. They have even started targeting people we used to hang out with, manipulating them, spreading lies, and successfully turning our other best friends completely against us so that we are left with nobody else to turn to.
To make things even worse, they have started attacking our families with toxic hate speech. They found out my uncle is gay and have been shouting horrible, homophobic insults about him to my face. Because they all have phones, they are using Snapchat and WhatsApp groups—platforms they shouldn't even be allowed on at their age—to spread extreme hate, vicious rumors, and threats behind my back.
They are also relentlessly targeting my best friend, Robin, just because he stands by me. They mock him because his cousin is gay, and they use horrible homophobic slurs against his family too. They bully him for having long blonde hair, and they make fun of his personal beliefs because he follows Norse mythology. Most disgustingly, they mock his brother who has actual, real special needs—showing total disrespect while the main bully fakes his own issues for attention. They taunt us constantly, shouting that we "teamed up" as best friends, trying to make us feel completely isolated from everyone else.
The sheer scale of what they shout at us in public has crossed the line into absolute hate speech. They scream horrific things in the schoolyard like "all women should be killed" and "gay people are animals." They direct their bile straight at us, chanting vile, homophobic slurs like, "Robin and Zack, you gay queer dicks!" over and over again. It doesn't matter who is around to hear it; they say it completely unprovoked just to humiliate us in front of the entire school, trying to make us feel like we don't belong in society.
Lately, their tactics have become even more calculated and manipulative. They have been aggressively trying to bait us and provoke us, doing everything they can to make us hit them or lash out physically. They get right in our faces and push our buttons because they know the rules; they want us to finally snap so that we get in trouble with the headteacher and they can play the victims.
The most frustrating part is that at the end of last year, the main classroom teachers completely failed us and didn't do a single thing about it, letting the bullies get away with everything. The only person in the entire school who actually stepped up and helped us was our LSA (Learning Support Assistant), who is genuinely the best person in the world and the only one who actually listens and tries to keep us safe.
This constant, daily abuse eventually broke both of us down completely. One day, the weight of the endless shouting, the group chats, and the targeted chanting became too much to carry, and Robin and I had a massive emotional breakdown together at school. We were completely overwhelmed, crying, and physically shaking from the stress of just trying to survive the school day. It is an incredibly dark feeling to realize that your safe space has been totally destroyed by a pack of cruel kids, and having a breakdown in front of people who hate you is one of the most exhausting things we've ever experienced.
Seeing us at our absolute lowest didn't make them stop; it only made them laugh louder. While Robin and I were trying to piece ourselves back together after that breakdown, they used our distress as fresh ammunition, calling us weak and continuing to broadcast their hate. The trauma of that day has completely changed how we view going to school. We are constantly on edge, looking over our shoulders, and wondering when the next loud chant or disgusting insult is going to be hurled at us from across the playground.
The abuse has repeatedly turned into dangerous physical violence, and it is a miracle neither of us has ended up seriously injured. They have shoved me over multiple times directly onto the hard concrete, deliberately trying to hurt me. On top of that, they threw a hard sports ball straight into my face on purpose, and they have even used a heavy school chair to strike and hit my legs. During one of the worst physical altercations, the main bully one-punched me out of nowhere, and they stood over us screaming that we should "fuck down the drain," treating us like we were literal garbage.
The most infuriating part of this entire situation is that their parents do absolutely nothing about it and simply do not care. When my family and Robin's family have tried to raise these serious issues, their parents just make lazy excuses, ignore the severity of the violence, or pretend their kids are completely innocent. Because their own parents refuse to discipline them or take away their phones, these bullies feel totally untouchable. They know they have no consequences waiting for them at home, which gives them the confidence to act like absolute thugs at school without any fear of being grounded or punished.
Because of this constant nightmare, Robin and I have been going round to each other's houses much more often during this summer break. Our homes are the only places where we feel completely safe from the group, and we spend hours just talking through everything that has happened to us. It helps to be able to talk to someone who truly understands the fear and stress, but our conversations always loop back to the same dark cloud. Even when we are trying to just play games or relax, we end up sitting there analyzing what they did and trying to figure out how we are supposed to survive the upcoming term.
Even though it is finally the summer holidays and we have a physical break from them, the emotional damage hasn't just gone away. Robin and I talk all the time about how terrified we are for September, and the anxiety is genuinely keeping me up at night. The summer is supposed to be a time to relax, but instead, we are trapped in our own heads, replaying the awful things they said and dreading the exact moment we have to step back onto that school property and face the same mob.
My parents and Robin's parents know what is happening, but the school needs to take massive, serious action. This isn't just "kids being kids" or a playground disagreement—this is targeted group harassment, cyberbullying, physical assault, and literal hate speech. How do we get headteachers to realize the severe psychological toll this has taken on us? How do Robin and I protect ourselves and stand our ground when the new term starts?