u/Chemical_Activity_80

Life goes good then it goes bad and horrible. 7 years ago my mom got sick and nearly died and she died 10 months later and she passed 6 years ago. Prices went up lack of jobs and after she passed I moved in with people who got tired of me quickly either they leave me or have me to live somewhere else.

I hate drama I didn't ask to live with family I know how they are . I applied for jobs either I get rejected or not hiring. Now I have a job I work 6 hours a week. And I have social security and I can't afford to live alone and I am afraid to be cut off by social security.

And I always get a cleaning job that I don't want to do anymore I applied for everything and I still get rejected . My family always complains about everything I do and don't do me working 6 hours a week I hate it too.

And I want a happy life I hate when people scream and yell at me and someone else. I want to work Monday - Friday 8-5 , cook or go out to eat , watch TV , shower and go to bed.

If I take too long doing things my family or others get irritated with me it makes me hate myself more and I feel like a burden to everyone and I feel like everyone hates me and I hate myself I never asked to be born .

I try to figure out why everything bad always happens to me . People are tired of me I am tired of myself I am ugly ass hell . That's ok I am going to disappear nobody won't see me again. I don't want to be around people who hate me and don't want me around.

I don't have a spouse because I am boring ass hell and I don't have any friends and never did because I am boring too and my family doesn't like me .

It's like nobody cares about what I am going through it's like I am invisible. One minute I am happy and next minute I very angry and close to crying.

Having family problems , problems on the job, and everything cost too high food , housing and lights and everything else. The job market is very bad I want to get a better job so I can get a house so I can have pets again like cats and dogs . This is not fair .

I try so hard to get along with my family and I do everything they want me to do and they always scream and yell at me or someone else this has been going on all the time .

When I was living with my brother my cat went missing and I have never saw her again my family didn't care and I couldn't get another cat because they are not a cat person I can understand it's they house. And they made me get a roommate and I couldn't barely pay my phone bill or get phone this happened like a while back I moved out because landlord selling house and I never got my deposit back from her.

Every since my mom passed almost 6 years ago my family treated me horrible one minute they are nice next minute they treated me horrible I have been alone and lonely. And I can't get a good job because the job market is bad due to my shyness and social anxiety all I did was cleaning jobs for 28 years and every job I had people pick on me .

There more to this to this horrible story of my life please pray for me how do I move forward? I see a therapist but she stopped speaking to me and I haven't heard from her in a while. Please pray for me . God please take away our trials and gives us what we ny in Jesus name 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏.

I am very shy and I have social anxiety and it stops me from getting a job on my own I have to get it from a job coach who bullies and belittles me . Every job I get is a cleaning job and I never had other jobs . I never did a cashier job at the grocery store. I work 2 days a week for 3 hours I hate it and my family complains about it .

And the jobs market is very horrible I can't even get a good job 2 years ago I applied for jobs I got rejected or they are not hiring I am not good at anything. And apartments are over 1000 dollars and when I live with people they complain about what I am doing and what I ain't doing and I am getting bitched at . I have been bullied all of my life since 1982 when I was 5 years old in kindergarten.

I tried to get a better job and I couldn't and I am stuck at the same cleaning jobs forever. Everything bad always happens to me and not nobody else . My family and others don't care about me.

I have been having anxiety all of my life and it stopped me from getting a job on my own and I have to have a job coach and I have been having a job coach for 31 years because I have problems with my job performance and I am worried about getting fired. Besides I am very shy and have bad social anxiety.

And I am worried about losing my purse with my phone and cards and I keep checking if I lose my cards because I lost my card and state ID in the past and it was very hard for me to get them . And I take meds for my anxiety.

And I am always afraid of someone yelling at me and when someone yells at me I shut down and it makes my anxiety worse. People always yell at me for making mistakes and doing things at the last minute. I am afraid of everything and I am afraid of being homeless. When I get a chance I will talk to my doctor about this .

I don't have a spouse never did and the friend I had threw me away like trash when I was little. My family treats me horrible Everyone talks to me for a while then they stop talking to me and get irritated with me and treat me horrible. I loved my family I have done everything for my mom when she was alive and my siblings and they treat me horrible.

When my family spends time with their family they don't have time for me and push me away and when they don't have nobody they come back to me . If I get married and have kids I will never give up on my siblings like they gave up on me . And I don't talk to my cousin and aunt and uncles on my mom and dad side anymore they don't reach out to me and I don't reach out to them .

I had friends on reddit and they stopped talking to me out of the blue and deleted their account. People who I thought were my friends are not my friends They hurt my feelings.

It seems like everyone has someone and I don't have nobody. I never asked to be born or to live with anyone it's all good.