r/shittyadvice

Context: it’s a surprise that his mother set up for him, she invited me along with some other friends. I’m working that day and can’t get it off, I feel like it should be something I should let him know in advance but then again it’s a surprise so I shouldn’t

Okay so.. I need 3,000 by the end of the month. I’ll literally do anything. I’ll pump myself out idc atp😭

I’m ready to hunker down and lose some weight. I hear protein cookies and protein candy are the newest rage. I‘ve even tried those popular protein sodas And power packed spicy beef jerky. I’m not interested in exercise As it hurts my arms. What other goodies will help me drop the fat fast?

Get this theres about 30 ppl at our family gathering ,ok so my pit bull starts licking his balls like most dogs would do ,then suddenly mt sisters whimpy boyfriend ses aloud the ol gee i wish i could do that and without missing a beat i then said ,he will probably let you then everyone was cracking up we had a good laugh but now sisters boyfriends bent outta shape and ses i made a fool out of him ,now everybody wants me to apologise my mother n sisters are giving me the stink eye rite now ,anybody got any good suggestions on how to go about resolving this .

What should I do?

How do I make them understand that only my wants matter? That I'm the protagonist?

He keeps ordering weird stuff like 50 pounds of bird seed and a tiny cowboy hat. I tried unplugging Alexa but he just yells the commands until she comes back on. My credit card bill is insane.

Subject line kinda’ sums it up, but to add context, I really don’t think I can tell the boss that his mom is sick and I can’t just leave her.

That would be rude, and I’m really a nice guy.

Help!

I have so much zucchini already I cant even give it away anymore. I just want him to leave me alone.