u/Accomplished-Meat976

I wrote here I think last year when it was one year without the medication I was still doing some what rough but I found some herbs that helped a lot get through the rest of the withdrawals without losing my mind because I really couldn't sleep and it took an ungodly amount of sedatives to sleep but now I can sleep exactly the way I did before benzo withdrawals I swear not being able to sleep is what drove me crazy I could have probably handled it if I could have slept but you can't nothing you do seems to work and keep you asleep long enough for you to rest but I am returning to swimming and life in general I still have moments where I wake up and I'm like oof the anxiety is intense as hell but after I fully wake up it gets much better I'm finally free of benzos I never plan on going back on them in fact I had a nightmare where I was forced back on them good riddance to these nightmare drugs.

My stomach is still messed up tho

I just know that because of my horrible luck, the worst tends to happen to me. I know I would be reaped, and it would probably happen the moment I turned 12 like Prim- only there would be no Katniss to save me, and I would die within minutes. If the arena did not have a lot of water, I would die very quickly. Unless it were a 'disabled edition' of The Hunger Games, my chronically ill self would go quickly without a large body of water to cool me down. I am an amazing swimmer and I can walk, but I overheat quickly, so I would be a dead man

Each reread I do of the books as an adult I hate Gale even more not just because of the war crime s*** that is enough to justify hatred but how much of a jackass is to Katniss a girl that just returned from The Hunger Games being forced to kill her peers and being extremely traumatized he personally watched her go through the games he watched her have to listen through Cato screams all night and he still didn't give a f*** about her trauma when judging her in catching fire I want to throw the book at his face half the time and his last line in Mockingjay kind of just cements my hatred "protecting your family was the only thing I had going for me" like dude you just helped kill her sister after being manipulated by coin maybe you shouldn't have said anything at all dude

Really because there was no reason to kill her Julie should have allowed Alaric to be happy instead of forcing the creepy Caroline plot with Alaric I feel like they butchered his character by killing Joe robbing him of a family I feel like she killed her specifically for shock effect and was extremely lazy.

I would have been born ironically in the capital or district one or two as I was born in Utah 😂

I wonder how that would have went over with Katniss and the others

The scene with katherine and Rebecca in the 20th episode of the fourth season is a good reason why

I could see him watching America's next top model or similar reality TV secretly feeling ashamed of himself and terrified that Niles and Martin would find out like not that he liked watching it but because it was entertaining and he hated himself because of it.

I'm coming close to two years without Klonopin and honestly I'm still struggling. But I'm able to more than manage it and I'm getting better every day. Some days are very, very bad with anxiety where I can't really do anything except just be anxious. It's seemingly very easy to trigger the trauma from the withdrawals. I have nightmares because of them. When I was in the ER and they gave me an anti nausea medication, whatever they gave me triggered my trauma from the withdrawals. I also think it may have interacted and caused what I can honestly describe as one of the worst panic attacks in my life other than what I was dealing with during the active withdrawals. I was also really sick and it made being that sick a thousand times worse.

But as long as I stay away from stressors, I can live very similarly to how I was before the withdrawals. Like I said though, there are horrible days that are honestly just hard to get through and they have caused some passive suicidal thoughts because sometimes these days actually turn into multiple days of the worst anxiety you can imagine and it doesn't have to be anything in particular. It's just a constant feeling of anxiousness in my chest and my body acts like it does during an active panic attack. I have POTS so that is part of the reason, but I also have to contribute it to the withdrawals because it feels like a very mild version of that on those bad days.

Honestly it makes me want to ask a question that I asked my doctor and he dismissed me. Is it possible I have long term damage with my nervous system? Because that's what I feel like has happened. My nervous system feels so much more sensitive than it has ever been and I have autonomic dysfunction so it's even worse. And if I do have some type of long term damage, what type of treatment should I get? I'm not even sure who to ask for and I am so exhausted with the medical system and have a lot of medical trauma.

Oh but there is hope for those of you I don't want this to be it never ends because the withdrawal symptoms have ended I'm feel like I'm just dealing with the aftermath and I'm not exactly sure what to do now how to find a doctor who can understand what has happened to me

I am generally curious what do you think I can't really find a Reddit thread where you guys talk about what you think about the show and the fact that it's very realistic as a chronically ill person I've been to the ER many times and the show is kind of triggering in how realistic it is, it's a nightmare.

By counterparts I don't mean just doctors I mean citizens of the EU is it that bad over there?

Generally I can't help but smile every time Rick shows his real feelings for the family because he loves the hell out of this variation of the family and brings them to other dimensions with him instead of just switching different realities without them I've been watching ever since season 1 back a decade ago and it's been a hell of ride watching him love the hell out of them like he does now.

But honestly Rick and Beth's relationship is my favorite.

Think about it: we knew the name of the victor of the 50th Games outright—Katniss tells us it was Haymitch in Catching Fire. If the 25th Games had gone off without a hitch, I feel like we would have known more about that victor as well. It would have been mentioned in Catching Fire, and Katniss would almost certainly have had the recording of the 25th Games. Why wouldn’t Effie have sent it to her if it were available? Effie wanted Katniss to win. So where was that video tape? Where is the name of the 25th victor?

I’m pretty sure that if Haymitch was being brought up, Katniss would have mentioned the 25th victor too. We would have at least gotten their name. We know these events are gigantic compared to regular Games—the Capitol goes completely over the top with the theatrics, almost like the Olympics. So you’d think the victor of the 25th Games would be celebrated, especially since the 50th Games went down so terribly. That disaster likely would have elevated the 25th Games in retrospect—the first successful Quarter Quell. Why wouldn’t that be talked about more than the 50th Games?

It stands to reason that if the 25th Games went correctly, Snow would have almost certainly focused on it more. I know the Games are highly edited, but we clearly see how angry Snow can get—though ordering all that punishment for Haymitch was probably just a normal Wednesday for him. So maybe they did focus on the 25th Games, and we just don’t know.

In my opinion, he would be hanged. We have a few instances of people like Caesar Flickerman, and the ones that weren't given life sentences were hanged. Multiple Nazi propagandists were found guilty of participating in genocide and hanged for it. The main DJ of Radio Free Rwanda, which pushed the genocide of the Tutsi, was given a life sentence-which under international law is about 20 years. So I'm generally curious: what do you think happened to him? Was he given a life sentence, or was he let off free? I personally think they would have hanged him. He literally glamorized children before they were slaughtered and made fun of multiple tributes -like we see in Sunrise on the Reaping. He helped dehumanize these children in front of the Capitol, who might actually see how horrifying it is if it weren't for him