r/benzorecovery

Went to the er, explained how im going through benzo withdrawal and cant pick up my script until Monday. They made it a point to tell me i WONT BE GETTING ANY BENZOS while im there. I wrote that in caps lock because thats how the nurse said it. I’m on day 5 of no sleep and had a seizure that put me in a coma earlier this morning. Haven’t eaten in 4 days either. At this point I wish one of these seizures would take me out because anything is better than the hell im trapped in

Hi everyone,

I feel like I’ve been overly posting in this community and if that’s the case I’m sorry. I’m just having a hard time, trying to taper from 4mg of Klonopin (originally 10mg daily for 10 years)

I’ve done a lot of research and I’m terrified of the withdrawals. My mother died a little over a week ago. It’s just me and my father now in this house. It’s a blessing and a curse. A blessing because he isn’t charging me rent but I still have bills, the biggest being my credit card balances (I have $25k in debt) and basic living expenses. A curse because he doesn’t understand what I’m going through, he can be abusive and we both kinda hate each other. I was close with my mother. She protected me but now she’s gone.

I haven’t even jumped. I’m just trying to taper. Point is I need money but I find myself dysfunctional.

I used to film and edit weddings for the bulk of my income, but they are super stressful. I only have a few left for the year but I’ve gone back and forth on whether to cancel them and just focus on my health.

My question is would it be ok to taper to 3 or even 2mg daily, and then take 4mg or 6mg to get through a wedding shoot? Or will that only hurt my taper progress.

Tl,dr: I’m tapering from klonopin but considering breaking my baseline to do stressful work for money I really need. Would this hurt my taper progress. I currently feel dysfunctional and that’s no good for work, especially high stress work like weddings.

Saying I’m making Ashton manual up, says I’m listening to people on Reddit and making things up because he got possed and called a place that said they could rapidly taper me
I’m done I think, no chance at a life

Trying not to freak out. Went from .73mg to now .66mg. I’m on day 3. Woke up and feel like I’m having internal shakes? I’ve experienced this one other time from a decrease in the beginning of my taper (started at 2mg last year). Do you think this will go away? I hate this and it’s scaring me. I have bad GAD (which is why I was prescribed klonopin) so I’m trying to keep myself calm and not go to this is a seizure or I need to go to the ER. I’m going to message my psychiatrist about this as well, I’m just wondering about others experiences. I think I’m going to drop down to 7% decreases. May possibly hold at .5mg for a few months.

About 8 months ago I had a series of incredible life stressors that led me to crash / burnout hard starting in february. I have been taking Valium 5mg for like 3 years or so.

I started waking with panic attacks, which actually got better over 3 weeks and I started feeling calm again but then my sleep dropped out, which freaked me out. eventually had to take leave from work bc I could not sleep more than 3.5h and had no idea what was wrong with me. I was going to sleep fine but waking like clockwork.

I eventually went to a clinic and they put me on mirtazapine and buspirone. I thought it might be the Valium maybe so I tried to taper but it was too destabilizing. I had never rly dealt with mental health / anxiety issues like this before. I stuck to 4.5mg Valium.

My psych ended up putting me on 0.5mg klonopin, which for the first 6 weeks I only took 0.25mg of, and I was making great improvements over this period of about 5 weeks. Eventually to the point of kinda feeling like myself and started doing normal things I enjoy. Then wham I woke up one day feeling off and then it went worse from there. The doc told me to take the full 0.5mg, but this time it did not rly have as much effect as 0.25mg did. I’ve been on this for about 6 weeks as well, so total about 3 months.

I don’t feel like it’s helping anymore. The doc wants me to go up to 1mg but it just seems like a slippery slope.

However I’m not very functional rn. I have like no motivation / joy / appetite, and terrible sleep. I’m able to work somewhat (my leave ended), and complete tasks and my boss likes me. And it’s my dream job. I don’t want to lose it.

I think I’m gonna try to taper. Does anyone have any advice? I don’t wanna get trapped on klonopin for much longer and it feels like it’s barely keeping me calm. I’m not particularly stable.

Sry so long tldr: back at work at my dream job following a burnout / crisis. Been on long term Valium, short term klonopin. Getting worse recently. How to taper and is it appropriate to?

Is a full recovery to the pre-SSRI state possible after stopping them, just like with benzodiazepines?"

I’ve been on benzodiazepines regularly for the past 11 years. My previous doctor had prescribed me 4mg of clonazepam daily, which is way too high. I have a new doctor that I’m not sure is aware of how physically dependent my body has become to these pills. I’m now suddenly on 1/2 mg of it and I don’t know if that’s safe to go that low all of a sudden after being used to 4mg?

I want to be able to safely wean myself off and I don’t know if my psychiatrist would help or my regular doctor? I’m so tired of dealing with clonazepam, and I regret becoming physically dependent on them.

8 years ago I had my first hospital visit and started a process that ended up with my bipolar diagnosis. At first seen as depression and anxiety I was prescribed alprazolam (0.5 that was escalated to 1mg further on) for daily usage on top of other medication. Eventually I stopped abs after maybe 2 years I got prescribed 2.5mg of lorazepam. Both of these drugs were prescribed to me daily, on top of my anti depressants or mood stabilizers. Never once I was told to use them only once in a while or was advised of the issues that come with this drug. Never once I used it recreationally. It’s important to say.

My mental state got worse and worse over the years. It hurts me to look back at what happened to me. It was just.. sad and it hurts me and somehow I’m lucky I’m alive. For years, I thought the story was simply that I had become severely depressed and just never really got out of it.
But now, looking back after being off benzodiazepines for about a year, I really think something way more complicated was going on.

Three years ago I changed countries and all the doctors were shocked and immediately made me go off. A plan was create and after 6 hard months I was free of lorazepam. One year ago that was

Now it’s slowing coming to me, like getting my memory back, that was not simply depressed. I was numb out of my mind. Lobotomized but still being bipolar and very depressed.

I couldn’t read. I stopped being creative, and it was all I knew for years, even when depressed. I didn’t have interests. I couldn’t get excited about cool things and even ordinary things. I spent huge amounts of time watching TV, being on my phone, using drugs or sex to feel something. I was sooo frustrated to feel something and be excited about something and do something different than going to bed to watch a series or look at my fine. Wanted to be able to create and I felt like I stopped having a personality. I just thought I couldn’t engage with life anymore or something. And I didn’t realize how abnormal that state was because it was gradual and because I was inside it. I look back at it and I feel like I was inside an aquarium and kicking and screaming to get out but no one could heard.

Around the same time I stopped I also left a very traumatic relationship/friendship situation, got a new job, moved into a new place, and had a lot of other major changes. So when I suddenly became much more energetic, curious and alive, I naturally attributed it to those changes. But then I was depressed again. The manic. Then hyperactive. Then slow. Huge shifts in mood and energy and all but at the same time I felt more clearer than ever and that I was progressing a lot, at least in awareness.
I got confused and thought I was getting worse and worse. No, I’m just got numb. Sedated.
And now that I’m no longer numb, I’m looking back and realizing just how much of my life I couldn’t access. And what I lost.

And this all happened because doctors told me to. They told me to take this everyday when I was a 25 year old shaking in a hospital and never warned me and told me I couldn’t read. I feel like my brain was assaulted and left unable to move properly. I don’t know how to process this and I’m loosing my mind.

I had no idea benzos were dangerous until I moved here. Yes I could have read and research but I was a scared young adult desperate for help and I was wronged. Then another doctor came and changed for another and wronged again. It piles up with me freaking out thinking I have brain damage.

Dots are connecting inside my brain lately, making sense of a story I didn’t even knew I had to make sense of in the first place. When I stopped lorazepam I never really understood what’s the big deal, so everything is coming into pieces and it’s the result of a lot of therapy and coincidences and moments of clarity.

I just wish I could hear from similar experiences. And tips. And ways to advocate for myself. This is a new type of dread.

Has anyone that had severe insomnia from bind ever gotten their sleep back. If so, how long did it take.

Hello gang, 14 months off Clonazepam and 4 weeks away from finishing Mirtazapine taper. The last two weeks I had been feeling stable and dare I say perhaps slightly improved from baseline (except for brain). Then Friday I went out for dinner and indulged in deserts. By Saturday morning it was clear I had gone back to bad. Sunday, Monday and today so far, my anxiety has been through the roof, particularly about my situation with my brain and feeling like it’s not going to get better and even thinking it’s going to get worse. I don’t think it’s gotten better in two years. I sit at my computer to work and it’s a constant reminder of how limited my brain is. Something that’s gotten worse is my typing. I cannot for the life of me, type one single word correctly any more. It’s like my brain has disconnected from my hands and fingers. Not the case with typing on phone. The letters seem to be all there but all out of order. Anyway, just feeling very pessimistic, anxious and afraid. Thanks for reading.

Pregabalin vs Benzos withdrawal

I ve been taking 225mg to 300mg Pregabalin daily for my hip nerve pain for more than 3 months.

I firstly started when tapering off Ativan/Lorazepam and it helped benzodiazepine withdrawal a lot but I am aware I just exchanged a dependency for other

I heard some people saying Lyrica withdrawal is worse than benzodiazepine withdrawal but judging by pharmacology it theoretically shouldn't be??

What is your experience?

After a 1 year and 5 months taper of Lorazepam, I have finally made the jump!

Too make a long story short, I was put on this medication in 2012 by a doctor ( at the mayo clinic) due to a gastroparesis flare up that was making me severely nauseous and lose weight. No other medicine was helping, so he decided 1mg of Lorazepam would help. It helped for maybe a month or two, but ultimately didn't do much and the flare up calmed down. I tried taper it in 2015, but I just started my degree and proposed to my then girlfriend so I didn't want to throw a taper into the mix.

Years past and I just kept putting it off which the long use of it without upping the dose was giving me interdose withdrawal symptoms the past few years. Last year I made it a goal to finally start a taper which my doctor agreed with and helped me with a plan to go slow and try to minimize symptoms.

The first few months was very rough , but after about 6 months each cut was not as bad. I had every symptom you can think of. Anxiety, panic attacks, flare ups of my gastroparesis, dysautomia flare up, DP/DR, and any other symptom possible I was having. Couldn't focus on work, barely slept, and didn't see anyone for months due to this. Thankfully I work from home because if I had to be back in the office there was no way I could function.

The last cut to .0125 every other day was the roughest, but after a month at that dose I decided to fully make the jump off on 8/12. I am still having some pretty rough symptoms which I suspect will last for a bit, but I got this far and I have no intention of ever going back on it.

I just wanted to make this post as a way to encourage anyone that it does get better and you will eventually heal which is an amazing feeling. I've read hundreds of your guys stories and would just breakdown knowing what all you are going through while also knowing that so many of you have had it even more rough than I have. I hope everyone who is currently going through this or planning on tapering has all the luck in the world and I wouldn't wish going through this hell on my worst enemy.

If anyone needs help through this or just someone to talk to while in the midst of a taper or potential taper my inbox is always open.

I quit klonopin about 10 months ago. In that time, I guess I've gotten a decent amount of deep sleep and REM sleep a handful of times. Ten months of light sleep. Broken sleep. I tried a CBD tincture that helped a little for a short period of time, now it does nothing. I take a little benadryl sparingly and have a hangover from it the next day, and tbh it doesn't help as much as you'd expect. I spent a ton of money on a new mattress and that helped my back. But I'm just so, so tired and so depressed at this point, and I can hardly handle being around other people anymore. I truly think it's because I'm sleep-deprived. I'm starting to notice slight word recall issues I haven't had in a long time, and I blame the sleep issue. I need to look for work outside the home but goddamn it, I can hardly handle anything lately because human beings weren't designed to function without sleep.

How long can a person go on like this? Sleep is crucial. I don't want a sleeping pill. I don't want to become dependent on anything! I'm also scared of anything sedating after what I've been through. It's just really getting to me extra today.

I’m going to have to do this in the next couple of months so I was just wondering about it. Aren’t benzos not water soluble? Wouldn’t it be better to get some PG or DMSO to put my Valium in?

I just wrote something about being told I had multiple diseases when I tapered down from .5 clonazepam to .2mg with no symptoms til I hit .2g. I got raised up to 2mg and was told I could easily taper again once I find the meds for rheumatoid and fibromyalgia which I didn't have.

Anyways, I'm just starting to taper instead of taking a little bit more whenever I feel bad. I'm only tapering 5% this month like Maudsley. I have to work and it requires carrying boxes and stocking. I feel better right after from the endorphins but worse the next day. I can't tell.

Also I've been on methadone before the benzos and originally tapered both with no issues til .2g. When I reached that day it was like almost every symptom hit me and I was acting like an addict again despite not using oxy for nearly a decade and not ever feeling that way. Some people say methadone makes it easier and other say it leads to my situation.

If 5% works how long do others or Maudsley recommend until you speed it up. It's been two weeks only. I can dial it up very slowly because i microtaper.

Thank you all and sorry for being repetitive in parts of this post. I should of brought it up but my mind is crap.

I was prescribed ketamine to try to help with my anxiety and chronic pain, but I ended up abusing it pretty heavily over the last week and used almost my entire month’s supply.
I was trying to avoid relying so heavily on Xanax, but unfortunately when the ketamine wears off, I end up needing Xanax just to get through the anxiety and physical symptoms. I’ve been dealing with what I believe may be “K-cramps,” horrible body pain, intense anxiety, and really awful existential thoughts. It has become a vicious cycle and I feel physically and mentally exhausted.

I took my last large ketamine dose (800 mg) almost 24 hours ago.
I’ve also had some pretty bad PTSD episodes during sessions as well
Last night I ended up taking about 5 mg of Xanax because I was struggling so badly with the cramps and anxiety and was desperately trying to sleep.

I also have severe agoraphobia, so the thought of going to the ER or anywhere physically absolutely terrifies me plus I can’t really afford it. I’m scared of being stuck there, scared something is seriously wrong with me, and I have a lot of fear around dying and existential/religious thoughts and trauma that make everything feel even more overwhelming.

I spoke with my psychiatrist yesterday and was completely honest with her. She told me that she doesn’t manage Xanax tapers and unfortunately didn’t know who I should contact for one.

I have maybe a month’s worth of Xanax left if I were somehow able to stay around 2 mg/day, plus a small amount of 0.5 mg Klonopin. I’m now sitting here trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do, and I know trying to design my own taper isn’t necessarily safe.

I’m trying to find out what type of doctor/service I should be looking for.. addiction medicine?, a psychiatrist who specializes in benzodiazepine tapering, a detox program, etc. and whether anyone has been in a similar situation

I feel absolutely awful and physically debilitated right now. I also stopped the ketamine because the side effects have become completely unbearable but the after effects are awful as well.

If you’ve been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing what kind of medical help actually worked for you or how you got through it.

I’m also horrified about a clinic because they seem to just rip people off everything while not going slow as well as the fact I have a whole house hold and buisness to run from home. I’m really shooken and lost

What is the percentage of people who get PAWS from SSRIs?"

I've been off Clonazepam for about 10 months now and I'm fatigued so often. My sleep has been a lot better. I'm getting 8-9 hours a night now, but after being awake for only a couple hours, I can feel like my feet are dragging. I eat good and try to get all the essential nutrients I need, yet some days I just feel drained for no real reason. Do energy levels return to normal?

Oorsuizen en jaren van xanax

Hoi.
Ik heb het geluk gehad dat ik ongeveer 12 jaar lang doorbuitende oorsuizen heb.
Eerst was het een soort gezoem en daar kon ik mee leven. Maar nu is het alsof het 5800 Hrz is.
Mijn arts beschreef xanax in die tijd.
Dus nu ben ik een xanax-verslaafde en de “kuur” is zelfs nog meer een probleem dan het oorsuizen.
Ik neem ongeveer 3 mg xanax per dag alleen maar om me geestelijk een beetje bij elkaar te houden van dat hels klinkende geluid 24/7.
Het is een wonder dat ik nog hier ben..

Nu, nadat ik xanax retard 0,5 over een periode van 4 uur heb genomen, zo’n 10 jaar lang, is het probleem enorm geworden.
Bijna geen slaap, paniekaanvallen in de ochtend met dat ochtendcortisol.
Ik neem alle supplementen die nodig zijn.

Ik denk eraan om af te bouwen en op te bouwen.
Maar als ik hier al die horrorverhalen lees, schiet de stress omhoog en dus ook het “spiken” van het oorsuizen.

Ik wil echt de Ashton-methode proberen.
Maar ik weet dat het een gigantisch gevecht wordt, vol onzekerheden die voor me liggen.
Het is al moeilijk genoeg om mijn dagen door te komen en mijn enige “goede” periode is ’s nachts, wanneer het cortisol laag is en ik me vol kan proppen met Netflix-rommel..

Ik weet dat in mijn geval, als gebruiker van meer dan een decennium, mijn hele gaba-systeem verknald is. Ik hoop alleen dat het niet helemaal FUBAR is.

Toen ik met mijn arts praatte in het rehabcentrum, zei hij zelfs: “Nou misschien moet je helemaal niet stoppen, gezien hoe ernstig mijn oorsuizen is.”

Maar toch zit er een vechter in mij die echt wil proberen Ashton.
Dat betekent dat ik een shitload aan Valium moet nemen (zo’n 60 gram per dag) en dat ik dat moet opbouwen onder toezicht van de Jellinek-arts.

Ik weet dat ik, als ik echt door wil pakken, naar een strijd van 1,5/2 jaar kijk.

Ik weet dat als iemand me nu mijn xanax afneemt, ik in ieder geval in psychose zou schieten.

Ik ben 62 jaar oud en ik zoek echt goed en wijs advies.
Geen horrorverhalen graag, maar ervaring
en wijsheid is hier nodig.

Kan ik het of ben ik vervloekt om deze xanax tot mijn laatste adem te nemen. En op sommige momenten voelt dat als achterstallig.

Respect voor iedereen die dit gevecht strijdt.

Ik wil alleen weten of ik een kans heb op verandering.

Dank je.

Robert

My kid 17M is doing taper of lorazepam/temesta, coming from 6 months of 30mg/day, (4dd7.5mg)going down 0.5mg/week , now going down 0.4mg/week.

Lack of sleep at night is hard, his head is always hyperaroused, fully hindering sleep during daytime

. Does anyone have tips on how to get some extra sleep during daytime anyway?