Hey yall looking for advice / help
About 8 months ago I had a series of incredible life stressors that led me to crash / burnout hard starting in february. I have been taking Valium 5mg for like 3 years or so.
I started waking with panic attacks, which actually got better over 3 weeks and I started feeling calm again but then my sleep dropped out, which freaked me out. eventually had to take leave from work bc I could not sleep more than 3.5h and had no idea what was wrong with me. I was going to sleep fine but waking like clockwork.
I eventually went to a clinic and they put me on mirtazapine and buspirone. I thought it might be the Valium maybe so I tried to taper but it was too destabilizing. I had never rly dealt with mental health / anxiety issues like this before. I stuck to 4.5mg Valium.
My psych ended up putting me on 0.5mg klonopin, which for the first 6 weeks I only took 0.25mg of, and I was making great improvements over this period of about 5 weeks. Eventually to the point of kinda feeling like myself and started doing normal things I enjoy. Then wham I woke up one day feeling off and then it went worse from there. The doc told me to take the full 0.5mg, but this time it did not rly have as much effect as 0.25mg did. I’ve been on this for about 6 weeks as well, so total about 3 months.
I don’t feel like it’s helping anymore. The doc wants me to go up to 1mg but it just seems like a slippery slope.
However I’m not very functional rn. I have like no motivation / joy / appetite, and terrible sleep. I’m able to work somewhat (my leave ended), and complete tasks and my boss likes me. And it’s my dream job. I don’t want to lose it.
I think I’m gonna try to taper. Does anyone have any advice? I don’t wanna get trapped on klonopin for much longer and it feels like it’s barely keeping me calm. I’m not particularly stable.
Sry so long tldr: back at work at my dream job following a burnout / crisis. Been on long term Valium, short term klonopin. Getting worse recently. How to taper and is it appropriate to?