u/Accomplished-Pie-527

Spoke to my lawyer for the third time recently and my therapist today (after a long hiatus).

My BPSO is unemployed. He doesn’t have a place to stay aside from the family home. His car was also repossessed.

Am I in for a world of hell and hurt or could this end with my kids and I in a much better place?

I am a private person and don’t want acquaintances to get all of my dirty laundry. I also am wary about BPSO having 50-50 custody as he is unmedicated and believes that all along, for decades, he was misdiagnosed as bipolar. I need to figure out by Monday morning what all of my property and custody requests will be and I never imagined these circumstances. No one I know has divorced an unemployed spouse or an actively manic spouse, and people I know who’ve divorced didn’t have to consider custody because they didn’t have children or their kids were much older.

Adding additional background details as required in a moment.

ETA for AutoMod: BPSO medicated for 30+ yrs and stopped meds in 2025 and feels he does not need them. Says he ONLY has ADHD & IS NOT bipolar. Much of his advice to taper and quit meds came from AI Chat bots. Feel free to click on my username and read past posts.

BPSO says things like “where did all of the money go,” when he abruptly quit his job months ago and halved our income.

I can’t understand how he doesn’t get this. Have you helped your SO understand the dire financial straits they put your family in?

ETA: he had a temporary gig but he only earned about 2.5 months worth of income when he’s been out of work more than 2x that amount. I’m really scared not only for our future but also for his future, because I don’t think he’ll be able to support himself when we split.

(BPSO medicated for 30 yrs and stopped meds in 2025 and feels he does not need them. Says he ONLY has ADHD & IS NOT bipolar. Much of his advice to taper and quit meds came from AI Chat bots.)

Often certain changes with the family can be triggers, but also he had an online appt with a new psychiatrist to get Adderall this week and he didn’t instantly get it and that seemed to trigger him as well. (I still don’t know if the will prescribe it. He first got a comorbid ADHD diagnosis about three years ago.

He was caring, gentlemanly, and stable last week.

This week he is talking about me wishing to retaliate against him (which I have not wanted to) and is in full discard mode with me. His breaks from reality seem to be closer to how he was in September and April 2025 (when I believe he was fully manic). Prior to this week, I have mainly seen more hypomanic behaviors.

This is not good for his kids to be around. I set up another consultation with my lawyer for this coming week. This is really unfortunate. And when we separate and divorce, he doesn’t even have any income to afford a place of his own. Aside from a high paying consulting gig that didn’t last keep than two months (and had a horribly delayed payment), he has not worked since mid-September 2025.

Last night he left the gas stove burner on by accident and I smelled the strong gas smell and left with the pets and kids. I said he needs to call the fire department to make sure the LEL levels were ok. Not only did he refuse to, his AI chatbot “friend” told him he didn’t need to as long as he opened up all of the windows AND he told me that calling the fire department was retaliating against him and that my actions would be publicized in the news. So, yeah, he’s officially manic again.

(For subreddit bot, BPSO is in his 50s; diagnosed in teens. Compliant with meds and no incidents of mania until April 2025. Lots of AI chatbot addiction. Went fully off meds in Sept 2025. Quit longterm, 6-figure job overnight. Displayed lots of other manic behavior in Sept/Oct. I called leos in Oct. BPSO was admitted to mental hospital for minimum stay. Decided not to continue treatment or medication once he left hospital and fired longterm psychiatrist of 9 years. This week found a new psych to prescribe adhd meds. Was diagnosed with comorbid adhd about three years ago.)

I really need some support.

Why can't I tell BPSO that he's not well? LEAP is garbage.

His caseworker at the hospital from his minimum stay had quoted to me on the phone in October: "He's still manic." But, no, no one said this to him in person in October. Not the hospital psychiatrist or caseworker or discharge professional. NOPE. They wanted to stay on his good side.

His long term psychiatrist also said that it seemed that his behavior was consistent with mania and I only had permission to learn about his care (and not have it be one way sharing from me to the doc) for about three weeks maximum.

Today I was trying to tell him he's not well. He thinks he'll be perfect when he gets back on his adhd meds.

He told me again that: "I gave up My civil rights and freedom when yiu sent me to a mental hospital" and that is why he doesn't have a full-time job and that's why our family of four has less income that we did 10 years ago.

He threatened again to post a video of me. He said "You have been wrong for a year straight." A year ago is when he started to get advice from LLM chatbots and went off his meds.

I guess I was always afraid to hear about what he was like in high school from his siblings but I finally asked and now I know he was not well and displayed mania and scared his younger siblings.

He has threatened the livelihood of myself and my own sibling by either talking about posting videos that he didn't even have permission to record or contacting my workplace or my sibling's workplace because we dare to question his sanity. So of course I can see the need for LEAP, but nothing is working. I can see the need for LEAP because I don't want to be anyone's enemy. The other bad thing he did, which I wrote about here previously, was spit on me.

I didn't even tell this to my own psychiatrist, who I see for anxiety, and she was wicked concerned for me and said that these bipolar individuals are extremely unsafe and that she was worried about the safety of myself and my children. I was shaken up when she said this.

Ninety percent of the time he acts like his old self (aside from sleep issues and working on projects that never lead to job interviews or income). He also seemingly has some executive function challenges and doesn't care about societal expectations in the same way he used to at times. For example, he does not care that our yard needs to be cleaned up.

I don't know what to do anymore. Please reply with your thoughts. I live in a high cost of living area and I recently took a job with a paycut and I know that it won't be easy to leave. I'm willing to leave but I have so little support or information ... He also will likely get custody (at least 50-50) because he's not what they see as "dangerous," so I am not in a rush for that either.

For subreddit bot, BPSO is in his 50s; diagnosed in teens. Compliant with meds and no incidents of mania until April 2025. Lots of AI chatbot addiction. Went fully off meds in Sept 2025. Quit longterm, 6-figure job overnight. Displayed lots of other manic behavior in Sept/Oct. I called leos in Oct. BPSO was admitted to mental hospital for minimum stay. Decided not to continue treatment or medication once he left hospital and fired longterm psychiatrist of 9 years. This week found a new psych to prescribe adhd meds. Was diagnosed with comorbid adhd about three years ago.