my father died two weeks ago and my husband keeps picking fights with me. AITAH?
This was a sudden situation that nobody was prepared for. I traveled with my 1 year old overseas to be with my father after he experienced cardiac arrest and was put on a ventilator. My father and I were very close, I called him more than once a week and his death has been devastating for me and my family. We all miss him so much. My husband flew in a few days later and has been generally helpful with looking after our son while I help my mom and siblings with arrangements. But when I try to get out of the house my husband gets annoyed when I’m short with him (he followed me around a shop and it made me feel like I needed to entertain him). Then when I was upset he told me I should apologise to him.
Last night he got upset with me because I rode home with my mom who had one glass of wine in a 2.5 hour period, after googling that it would’ve been unsafe for her to drive. He started this argument on a “date night” which ruined it and I haven’t said much to him since we got home. He has a history of alcoholic parents and an alcoholic ex wife (I was never a big drinker but I don’t drink much anymore and rarely get drunk due to having no childcare support at home). In the past when I drink and play cards with my family my husband always points out someone needs to be sober in case the baby wakes up at night. I’m a 38 year old mom playing cards with my aunts and mom who have kids and are kind and caring people and it feels like I’m a child he has to remind to not mess up when I’m not with him. It’s really frustrating because I’ve never made poor decisions about these things. I don’t have the bandwidth to argue with him and I’m getting to the point where I’m almost glad he’s going home soon (to go back to work) so I can just grieve with my family. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’m struggling right now and don’t want to tell my family about this because I don’t think they’ll be happy with my husband about it.