I think I’m grieving someone who’s still alive.
I’m 22F and my boyfriend is 23M. We’ve been together for almost 2 years.
A few days ago he told me he’s leaving soon because of life/work opportunities, and during the conversation he admitted something I genuinely wasn’t prepared to hear: he doesn’t believe in long-distance relationships and doesn’t want one.
It felt like someone pressed a stop button on my entire future.
The worst part is that he wasn’t cold or cruel about it. He was calm. Honest. Almost too calm. Meanwhile I was sitting there trying not to fall apart while hearing the person I love basically tell me our relationship already has an expiration date.
I keep replaying everything in my head now.
All the nights we stayed up talking until sunrise.
All the plans we made.
All the little moments that felt permanent to me.
And now I’m wondering if he always knew there was a limit to us while I was loving him like there wasn’t.
What hurts the most is that I would’ve tried. I would’ve done the calls, the waiting, the distance, the effort, all of it. I would’ve fought for us even if it hurt. But you can’t force someone to choose the same fight as you.
So now I’m stuck between being angry and understanding at the same time.
Part of me wants to beg him to reconsider. Another part of me feels humiliated for loving someone this deeply when they already seem emotionally prepared to let go.
He hasn’t even left yet, but everything already feels different. Every conversation feels heavier because I keep thinking: “Is this one of the last times?”
I don’t know how to process losing someone who’s technically still here.