Here we go again. This time, a taper. Day 2.
Day 2 of my first taper. Everything is different this time. This time it’s 7oh. This time no cold turkey. This time honest with my wife. This time I pushed pride aside and I got others involved. This time I’m engulfed in my faith with Jesus.
300mg per day of 7oh for about a month. Not a very long bender this time thankfully and I think it’s cuz I’m just done with the lies. This shit is the devil. ChatGPT sadly knows me and my life more than any human. I asked for a taper and it gave me a plan.
I came forward to my wife. She never knew. Never had a relationship with my dad but I reached out for his support. I showed them the plan. Obviously I am loved because they were happy to help.
We went to the store and bought just enough 7oh for the taper. We broke it down to 4 doses daily and decreasing daily until I jump off at 25mg per day. Each dose in a ziplock bag labeled with the date and which dose of the day. They control the bags and when I get it.
My wife will leave my morning dose on the nightstand before she leaves for work. I wake at 7am and have my first dose.
She gives me my second dose at noon before I go to work at noon. She also sends me off with my 3rd dose timed at 5pm.
Then on my way home from work I stop at my Dad’s work to get my bedtime dose and I take that as late as I can manage between 10pm and midnight.
I finally bought liposomal vitamin C. I started today with 10g of VC. I will keep that up.
Honestly I am miserable between doses. Day 2 and I’m at 2/3 my habitual daily dosage. This misery is FAR from the cold turkey misery I’m too familiar with. Therefore I know I’m ok. I really think the vitamin c helps. Today was easier than yesterday. Cold sweats. Stomach is starting to turn but most importantly I’m sleeping. Some anxiety. Some restlessness. Overall not bad.
Church had me break down in tears for the first time in many years. The sermon was made for me. I felt emotions for once. My ego stepped aside and I wept. I wasn’t crying. I was weeping. My wife held me. I guess I was mourning the loss of the old me. It was nice.
I don’t know why I’m posting. 1st time posting. I guess it’s like journaling and I guess I’m looking for encouragement specific to me for the next 7 days. I’m scared. I’m nervous. I’m terrified. But FINALLY I recruited the help of those I love. That’s empowering.
I’ve been through it before. I know there’s light at the end of the tunnel. What the fuck is so scary? Nothing. My wife and kids deserve the real me. Here I come…