Start of a new chapter
Where to begin, I stopped drinking for a little over a year and a half. I was going to AA meetings once or twice a week. I did the steps, and found a lot about myself. Different reasonings on why i was drinking. A lot of resentments i had. Long story short I was the problem not anyone else. Which i know sounds crazy but to an alcoholic like myself i couldn’t possibly be the problem 🙄. Anyways i stopped going to meetings maybe 5 months into my sobriety. I felt like i was fixed and “cured”. I thought hey maybe i don’t have a problem 🤔. Maybe I can just have A drink and stop. On my wedding anniversary a few months back I ended up having a glass of wine at dinner. That’s all it took. I went from there to slowly having more and more over the course of a few months. This last Saturday I got completely blacked out. Made a fool of myself, made my wife over it (again) embarrassed her as well. My oldest daughter (11 years old) was pissed at some of the stuff I did. She was happy and was so proud of me when I wasn’t drinking. Which honestly I never knew she was, or that she noticed. Which is another stupid feeling I have. I stayed in my garage all day yesterday. Door locked and I ended up just getting bombed because I felt like the biggest peace of trash. The feeling of being super alone once again, Like I once felt like 2 years ago. Anyways thanks for listening to my share. I ended up going to two meetings today. I definitely know now I can’t have a single drink no matter how long it’s been. Here’s to day one and to many more sober days ahead. Just got to keep telling myself “one day at a time”. Thanks 🙏🏼