u/According-2Plan

Convinced that my life will never have anything meaningful and great enough happen in it to make up for everything that’s happened up til now. Severe cptsd, trauma throughout grade school, college and nearly a decade of psychosis all the while no friends, youth gone, no real relationships and too tainted to feel joy or relate to others. Relying on alcohol just to keep from going insane. Bitter internally. Still going through the motions and being a good person. Disappointed at life, at people who never protected me, at my own shitty choices, at God. It feels like I’m praying to nothing. There’s nothing there anymore.