Hopefully I’m done for good
Praying that I don’t get sucked back into the chaos. For those who remember my story, my big dday was a year and a half ago. Escorts and message parlors. Multiple times a week while still having daily sex with me. I moved out, he got a CSAT, after sex months “sober” we got back together. About 6 months ago he relapsed with dating apps and escorts. He committed to additional therapy, daily group, and couples counseling. I travel a lot for work and when I come back, I’ve noticed he’s not dying to have sex like usual. I posted his photo in a Facebook group called Are We Dating the Same Guy. Turns out he never deleted the apps and many have claimed they met up with him. We share locations and have phone monitoring but he is very clever. I broke it off but he’s adamantly denying the claims and I have no hard evidence other than hearsay. These women have no reason to lie but the gaslighting from him is making me question if I’m the one that’s going crazy or if he’s on the apps and meeting people when I travel. I know deep down it’s probably true. But I can’t seem to accept it without hard evidence because of his denial. I can’t live like this anymore. I almost admitted myself to a mental hospital last week because I feel like I don’t have a grasp on my own reality anymore. And while I was spiraling out he continued to utter “it’s all in your head.”
Sorry for the long rant. I just need him gone for good but my mind is playing tricks on me. I wish I never met him…