u/Accurate-Dress4859

I meant to say resting in the title… I spilled my lunch all over the floor and I’m trying to clean it up my heart rate kept going up - I stopped and rested- started again- heart rate went back up…. etc…. I just threw my phone and cleaned it u. I was crying and was so frustrated and I just didn’t even care anymore!!!! it’s been a month and I know I need to keep going, but I just got a wall! Now whenever my heart rate goes up i feel light headed and my eyes get heavy.

I just gave up on those moments and racked up many many minutes over my threshold. Not sure how long this pen will last now! I think I’ve been in rolling pen for the last 20 years but now that I have finally learned what it is, I am trying to heal. It is hard!!! it is hard to do nothing… it is so hard staying under 94 but I have to. I allow myself to have a minute at a time of going over the threshold, but it is sooo hard and it takes constantly watching the hr and I am not even living. I still want to do it because I think it will help-it just takes time. I used adderall for for about 15 years and finally stopped in July and I now know my true baseline, which is very low!!! I wash my hair only once a week now and I use the shower chair and put my feet up. I no longer wear makeup or fix my hai. I have not been going anywhere and I now have groceries delivered. I am ok and am not lonely but I wish that I could see some improvement. Ive only been doing this for a little over a month, so I know that it is too soon, especially since I’ve had this for 20 years. I would love to hear other‘s journeys - just so that I don’t feel alone in this. I feel so blessed that I don’t have to answer to anyone and am able to be independent- I keep reminding myself of that. Hugs to all!!! 🥰

For a month I have tracked my heart rate and attempted to stay under my estimated AT to be 95 and I wasn’t always successful but I have stayed under mostly less than 6x a day- but I’m feeling much worse and short of breath more. How are you tracking PEM? I have rolling so I can’t tell and I don’t think I got out of it ever. I used to use Adderall daily prescribed but stopped. I don’t know what no PEM really feels like anymore after 20 years of not working but pretending to be normal. I am a true analyst and need detailed data to have a plan… sigh 😔.