AITA for banning my mother from our property?
Throwaway (reposted due to missed deadline): I need some outside perspective as I’ve dealt with this my entire life. I (42F) love my mother (75F), but she has a constant need to control people and things. There is a tree with limbs that are close to the road but do not block traffic or visibility. My mother insisted it has blocked her view of oncoming traffic. She is literally the only person who has this problem! We’ve asked other people who come if they have any issues seeing the street and it’s not an issue. Leaving the driveway before you even get to the street you can look over to the road and see any cars coming as well before you get to the end of the driveway to make sure it’s totally safe. She asked us to cut it back, we can’t. She asked again, again mother we can’t. Made a few more snide comments about the tree over the months, I just roll my eyes each time. Even when I drive her SUV I can fully see the road. Once more, she is literally the only one!
Here’s the kicker, the tree is on an easement that is owned by the town! It’s on the other side of the property line so technically it’s our neighbor’s area. Well, she decided enough was enough. She went behind our backs and called the town council and told them whatever story it was and got permission to cut back the tree!!! She came over while we were trying to get the last-minute decoration finished for child’s birthday party and demanded my husband (40M) cut the tree back though she claims they talked about it. They did not. He was done with her crap and stressed out with party planning, so he walked away. You guessed it, SHE CUT THE BRANCHES HERSELF!! My mother with a bad back, and bad shoulder, and bad knee cut the tree back herself. And I’m pretty sure she brought something with her because she didn’t get it from us.
To make this whole situation even that much worse, she did a horrible, appalling, terrible job and just left the branches there on the ground for us to deal with! I’m not even exaggerating on doing a terrible job. This poor tree was left with three branches that were not a clean cut like the rest that were smaller. They were mutilated with tearing damage like it was ripped off in a storm, shocking the tree and we had to cut back even more to protect, at least it’s not going to snow soon so it has a chance to recover. Since her suggestion was not approved, she took control of her problem and did it anyway. Well, I guess she got her wish; the road view is totally clear now. If she doesn’t get her way, she’s simply going to take control and do whatever she wants anyway.
My husband just wants to keep the peace, telling me to let it go, again. Even though I love and care about my mother very much, I’m just so tired of having her do this to me every few months and never apologizing. We are welcome to go to her house and meeting up outside of our house, not banning contact just limiting it from here. So, AITA for telling her she’s no longer welcome at our property?