My (24M) girlfriend (22F) confessed to physically cheating with her male best friend (22M), lied to me multiple times, but I still want to save this 1.5-year relationship. Am I being foolish?
I (24M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (22F) for about 1.5 years. She has a male best friend, Ashish (22M). For the last month, almost all of our fights have been because of him.
I repeatedly promised her that I would stop fighting over him and try to normalize things, but whenever I noticed her phone was busy or felt she was talking to him, I would become insecure and another argument would start.
At one point, she suggested that we should stop talking until we both cleared our government exams so we could focus on our careers. We both work full-time while preparing for government exams, so life has already been stressful. Even during that period, we occasionally talked, but the fights continued. Eventually, I blocked her after one major argument.
During the time we weren't talking, she met Ashish. She later admitted that during that meeting she held his hand and kissed him.
After some time we got back together, but she continued talking to Ashish while our relationship remained unstable.
Later, we again stopped talking for about a week. During that time, Ashish traveled from Ahmedabad to Gondal specifically to meet her. They visited Khodaldham, had garlic bread together, went shopping in Rajkot, and spent the night together in his car.
When I later asked her whether anything physical had happened between them, she clearly denied it. I even asked her to swear on me, and she still insisted that nothing physical had happened.
The next day at night, I told her to talk to him because he had made her swear on his mother not to tell me anything related to him. I asked her to make him remove that swear. She then shared her screen with me while chatting with him, where she wrote that he is her genuine friend. During that same conversation, Ashish said something like, "What if Keval (me) finds out what happened between us?" That message immediately made me suspicious. I confronted her again, and at that point she stopped hiding the truth.
She admitted that she had lied to me earlier because she wanted to save our relationship and was afraid of losing me. She confessed that they had kissed multiple times, including on the shoulder, hands, face, and lips. According to her, she was emotionally overwhelmed at that time and was seeking physical comfort.
She also told me that she does not love Ashish, but that Ashish loves her. She told me that one reason she found it difficult to completely cut him off was because he had shared suicidal thoughts with her, was engaging in addictive behaviors, and she was genuinely worried that he might harm himself. She also told me that Ashish's father died by suicide when Ashish was in 10th grade and staying in a hostel, and that his mother is currently battling cancer. According to her, all of this made her feel emotionally responsible for him, even though she says she does not have romantic feelings for him. After her confession, I made her block him everywhere, and she blocked him on Snapchat, WhatsApp, calls, messages, and every other platform.
Today, however, Ashish contacted her again using another phone number because he was blocked everywhere else. Their conversation started around 1 PM. She replied without asking me first, and around 4–5 PM she informed me that he had contacted her.
The conversation was about her plans to study or work abroad (she has completed nursing). Ashish has a friend named Shraddha living in the UK, so he asked his friend about expenses, the process, and other details for my girlfriend. Later, my girlfriend forwarded some of those explanatory messages to me and then texted me, "this melts me"
Tonight, I made her permanently delete all of her chats with Ashish and block both of his phone numbers everywhere again, and she did. However, after being blocked, he even recharged her mobile number with ₹26, which made me feel like he is still trying to find ways to stay connected with her.
One more thing about my girlfriend: I am not her first relationship. Before I came into her life, she made several mistakes in previous relationships, but I never judged her for them because I genuinely believe people can change.
The painful part is that now these mistakes happened while she was with me.
I have put everything I had into this relationship—time, effort, emotional support, patience, and love. Despite everything that has happened, I still love her deeply.
She tells me she still has feelings for me, but not the same way as before. She says our memories keep pulling her back, but that our constant fights and the broken trust have changed her feelings.
I know many people will probably tell me to leave.
But I'm asking something different.
Is there any realistic path to rebuilding trust after something like this, or am I holding onto a relationship that is already over?
I'm looking for honest opinions, whether they support me or criticize me. Please be objective.