u/AcousticPERS0N

Problem/Goal: My mom came home from overseas, asked me to meet her. Now I’m with her, her affair partner, and his family for 5 days, and I don’t know how to feel

Hi everyone. I really need advice because I feel emotionally conflicted and caught in a situation I wasn’t fully prepared for.

Context: My parents have been separated for almost 3 years because my mother had an affair. Since then, I’ve tried my best not to choose sides. I’m already an adult, and I believe their marriage, their mistakes, and their decisions are ultimately theirs. As much as possible, I just want to maintain my relationship with both of them without being forced into the middle.
I’m currently in college and living with my grandmother on my mother’s side. My mother works overseas and still supports me financially by paying for my tuition and allowance, so despite everything, we’ve stayed in contact. My father works in the city and spends weekends in our province. We still see each other sometimes, and from what I can tell, he’s been trying to live peacefully.

Recently, my mother came home from abroad and asked me to meet her in Manila. I agreed because she’s still my mom, and I missed her.
What shocked me was that she didn’t tell me she was with the same man she had an affair with — the man connected to why my parents separated.

I was caught off guard, but I tried to stay calm because I genuinely don’t want to pick sides. I keep telling myself that they are adults, and I’m an adult too.
But things became even more overwhelming because I didn’t know we’d also be going to her partner’s hometown and staying with his family for 5 days.
Right now, I’m currently here in his family’s house, spending those days with them.

To be fair, he’s been kind and respectful to me, and his family has also been somewhat nice and welcoming. No one is treating me badly, which honestly makes this situation even more emotionally confusing. On one hand, they’re being good to me. On the other hand, I can’t ignore the history behind how all of this started.
It feels strange because I was suddenly placed into this deeply personal part of my mother’s new life without any warning or time to mentally prepare. If I had known beforehand, maybe I could have processed it differently. But instead, I’m here now, trying to be respectful while internally dealing with a lot.

Another thing weighing on me is my father. I already told him that I’m with my mother, but I haven’t told him that she’s here with her affair partner, or that I’m currently staying with his family for several days.
I don’t know if telling him would just hurt him unnecessarily, or if keeping that detail from him makes me dishonest. I don’t want to feel like I’m hiding something, but I also don’t want to create pain or drama where it might not be needed.

Right now I feel torn between:
Wanting to stay neutral and not choose sides
Appreciating that her partner and his family are treating me kindly

Feeling emotionally uncomfortable because of the past
Not knowing if I should tell my father the full situation
Trying to get through these 5 days peacefully without carrying guilt

Am I wrong for feeling this uncomfortable even when everyone here is being nice to me? Is it better to tell my father the full truth, or should I stay out of it since their relationship is already over?

I’d really appreciate advice from anyone who has dealt with separated parents, infidelity, or being unexpectedly pulled into a parent’s new life. Right now, I’m trying to be mature, but honestly, I just feel emotionally overwhelmed.

Previews attempts: I’m still thinking of what I should tell to my father and how I should tell him. I’ve already built a good connection with him and I dont want to destroy it.

Ps. Sorry I used a AI to properly improve the structure of story because im bad at story telling.