AITA Am I the Asshole????
My husband and I allowed his sister, her boyfriend, and their daughter to move in with us temporarily. Altogether there were 8 people living in one house.
For background, the house did not belong to my husband or his sister. It belongs to their father, who retired to another country and left my husband in charge of taking care of it. Before they moved in, we all agreed it would only be temporary while they searched for another place because the boyfriend needed an address in the city for work.
That was FOUR YEARS ago.
At first, I tried to be patient because it was still my home and I wanted peace. But they constantly left messes everywhere. Pots and pans with food sat on the stove for days. Packages piled up in the dining room and living room for weeks. Their belongings were everywhere and neither the sister nor the boyfriend cleaned up after themselves.
We also both have dogs. I have two pit bulls and they have a German shepherd. The boyfriend became obsessed with the idea that his female dog was “alpha” because she’s bigger. My male pit would naturally establish boundaries and the boyfriend took it personally. He constantly made rude comments about my dog because his own dog would shy away from mine. And he will instigate fights between them, even if they were only play fighting.
What made it worse was the boyfriend constantly talking about being an “alpha” and “a man.” Yet this so called man never contributed anything to the house. Plumbing issues? Sat on the couch. Something broke? Never offered to help. Never took out trash , and then when asked to, he responded with, “Why can’t your kids do it?” My husband even helped him with oil changes, brakes, tires, everything.
Financially, we were more than fair. Since the house was paid off, we did not charge rent. We only split utilities, so the three of them paid around $300 total. We even built them a full bathroom so they could have their own space.
Eventually I became miserable in my own home. I stayed in my room and avoided them completely. My husband talked to them multiple times about moving plans, and they accused us of rushing them out and reminded us “it’s not your house.” Technically true, but after 4 years?
We asked them to spend more time in their own area because the house felt overcrowded. They ignored that too and continued taking over our shared spaces daily.
So my husband and I bought our own house and moved out.
Now they’re angry because they have to clean and pay full utilities themselves. They even tried using their father to pressure my husband into going back to help clean. He finally snapped and told them all to fuck off.
Now I feel guilty because I know this damaged my husband’s relationship with his sister, and I wonder if I caused issues over a house he may eventually inherit. But at the same time, I feel like we spent 4 years helping people who completely took advantage of us.