Feel like I’ve wasted my teens.
Hi guys, I’m 19 and I feel like I’ve wasted my teens.
I moved to a different country when I was 16 and finished my last two years of high school there and moved back to the US. Normally, that sounds exciting, but it was the single worst thing I have ever done.
I made no friends, not in school not outside of school.
I never learned the language on account of my fear of failing. Which I also did academically.
I didn’t have any fun, useful, or even memorable experiences.
I uprooted my albeit boring life in what was supposed to be a transformative, exciting time.
I just don’t want to do it anymore. I wouldn’t say I’m depressed but I don’t know. I’ve just never been HAPPY since I was little. I don’t ENJOY anything. I have nothing to do, nothing for months planned, and just fear.
I’ve never seriously considered ending it but I have thought about why I SHOULDN’T and I struggle to think of two reasons.
I guess I typed all of this out just to try and figure out what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I enjoy anything?