u/Active-Gas7922

Tere!

Olen puuduva töövõimega noor, maadlen vaimse tervise probleemidega. Otsustasin kasutada sotsiaalse rehabilitatsiooni teenust, kuid ei tea, millist teenusepakkujat valida, sest neid on nii palju.

Mõtlesin küsida, et äkki kellelgi on selle teenusega kogemust ja saaks natuke jagada:)

Infoks, et teenusega soovin keskenduda enesekindlusele, ärevuse ja depressiooniga toimetulekule, üldiselt lihtsalt tavaeluga hakkama saamisele. Tähtis ka, et teenusepakkujad oleksid LGBTQ+ sõbralikud. Tahaks, et elu tunduks natukenegi kergem ja helgem.

Hey! Wanted to vent.

I'm pretty sure atp I have vaginismus - most of the time, penetration is so painful for me that I can't even wear tampons. Sometimes I can relax enough to take in a finger or two or a dildo but usually only for a bit before it's painful again. It's always been this way.

It didn't bother me before because whatever, but now I've got a partner with a penis and I've begun wishing we could also do penetration.

Thing is, healing vaginismus is mostly about exercises and solving the mental aspect of your brain associating penetration with pain, and instead getting to associate it with safety.

But even thinking about it feels violating, even though I want it with my partner. Using dilators sounds so awful for some reason, as if I was preparing myself to be some sort of object.

I haven't been to the gynecologist and I really should. Maybe it's not even vaginismus, but something else. But when I start thinking of that, of imagining that chair, I get the violent urge to fight someone, it triggers me so much. Even thinking about trying to deal with this fear itself triggers more anxiety about it because it's so connected to my dysphoria. I don't wanna deal with it but I wish it would get better.

Has anyone out there also dealt with the vaginismus+dysphoria combo and has any advice on where to start unpacking this?