u/Actual-Owl5727

▲ 23 r/Advice

Boyfriend believes hes infertile

My (32f) boyfriend (31m) and I have been dating officially for two months. Weve been messing around as fwb for a year.

This morning my bf confessed to me that he genuinely believes hes infertile. It was an emotional exchange, Im on birth control regardless..

The thing is.. a couple months into our friendship getting physical my birth control failed and I got pregnant. I didnt know this until 4 months later (you can skip your periods with this bc which is what i do) when I passed out behind the wheel due to the sudden pain in my stomach.

I had barely managed to pull off into the ditch and call my mom who rushed out and took me to the ER.

I was bleeding heavily, got an ultra sound and we found I was pregnant. There was still a heartbeat for 3 more hours as they tried to stabilize me and stop the bleeding.

I lost the baby. He was the only guy id been with.

I was so afraid to tell him because he was so adamant back then that he didnt want anything serious.

I ended up telling him I was in the ER when he messaged to ask if I got home ok. He ended up driving up to the ER to check on me, which I didnt expect.

I wasnt in an ok place because of the loss, the bleeding, the pain, and fear of upsetting him.

I spoke with the nurse (actually a highschool friend) and the doctor and told them I didnt want anyone to know.

It was awkward when he arrived, the staff were polite and said they explained the situation to me and left to avoid any questions.

I ended up just telling him it was a complication with my period and he just tried to be supportive as i continued to cramp and bleed a lot.

My question.. do I calm his worries and tell him so he knows hes not infertile? We don't have access to testing (nothing local) so that complicates things. I worry about what he may think..

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u/Actual-Owl5727 — 5 days ago