u/AdDelicious792

No witches? :(

I visited Dorney Park for the first time yesterday, and it was the final amusement park that is easily within driving distance for a day trip that I've never been to. I guess the main reason I held out on visiting it for so long is that they seemed to lack any top coasters on the same caliber as something like Phoenix, El Toro, or Wildcat's Revenge. So I went into it with fairly mild expectations, but ready to see if anything there pleasantly surprises me.

Steel Force (4.5/5) (x3) - This ride seems to be a bit controversial. Nobody really seems to hate it, but it's a bit divisive whether it actually has any airtime or not. I rode it in the back, front, and around the middle, and I can confirm that it does actually have pretty solid floater, particularly in the front. It never really gets close to being serious ejector except maybe near the end, but it isn't forceless by any means. The lap bar also never comes down very far (despite the best efforts of the ride ops to staple you), so it sort of acts like a buzz bar which is cool. I was also pleasantly surprised by how smooth the ride was all three times. In short, it is basically Magnum XL 200 for people who hate Magnum XL 200. I am not in that group personally, but I can appreciate how re-ridable it is.

Iron Menace (4/5) (x2) - Iron Menace has kind of been a punching bag for enthusiasts, especially as the B&M rattle started becoming more widely recognized as an issue around when the ride opened, but I think it's a bit over-hated. Yes, the transition into the brake run is really awkward and weird, but the rest of the ride really wasn't that rough, even in the outermost seat. The first drop was, quite predictably, good. The inversions were forceful and made me gray out a bit, and the dispatch sequence is really cool. It's a pretty good supporting ride, but not a headliner.

Possessed (3.5) (x2) - My first impulse, and it was actually better than expected. The launch was weird. It is super punchy at the start, but doesn't seem to keep accelerating you very fast after the start. both spikes are fun, and I'd recommend trying both the front and back because it feels very different depending on which side you rise higher on. The main surprise of the ride, though, was actually how aggressive the pull-up into the backwards spike was. It always catches me off-guard with positives. Both spikes also have very fun airtime. The main issue is just that it's too short and kinda feels like a flat ride, but I am happy that it exists.

Hydra the Revenge (4/5) (x2) - The Jojo roll is awesome in the front. The rest of the layout is kind of underwhelming, but it isn't as rough as many claim.

Talon (5/5) (x2) - After thinking about it more, Talon is my favorite invert. It feels like a blend of everything I love about the other inverts I've ridden: the twisted drop of Banshee, the positives and intense zero G rolls (especially the second one in the back) of Raptor, the pathway fly-bys and smoothness of Great Bear, and even some surprising airtime moments that no other invert compares to. I really don't have anything to complain about with it, except maybe it's slightly short duration and the fact that I just tend to prefer more airtime-focused rides. Still, the standout of the park and my #30 overall.

Thunderhawk (2/5) - I know that this ride is historical or whatever, but it just isn't very good. It's rough, has uncomfortable transitions, disappointing forces, and a brutal brake run. It's only saving grace is the comfortable trains. RMC candidate maybe?

The only other ride I went on was White Water Canyon, a short but extremely wet water coaster. I know calling it a "water-coaster" is probably raising some eyebrows, but I saw one of the trains next to the station and it literally had wheels on the bottom, so that thing is not a log flume. But regardless of what it should be classified as, it's just an okay ride.

As for general park thoughts, my only two major complaints are the lack of shade and the fact that there are, like, 3 bathrooms in the whole park. Otherwise, I thought it was pretty nice. None of the rides except for Talon had a wait, and Talon only had about a 15 minute or so wait both times. Operations were pretty good, basically everything running two trains even though they probably didn't have to. The ride ops seemed to attempt to staple me on a few rides, most notable Talon and Steel Force, but it didn't really work either time due to the nature of the restraints, for me at least.

Overall, it's a pretty good park, and possibly the best roller coaster collection that is consistently a walk-on.

To say that I was excited to visit Cedar Point for the first time would be like saying that I think Fruity Pebbles is a pretty good cereal: a massive understatement. Ever since I became a coaster enthusiast in 2024, this park feels like it has been calling to me, and at last I'm able to answer.

I visited over the weekend, so I had a bit under two days and one night in the park total. We knew that the park would be slammed, so we decided to shell out for Fast Lane+'s. With those in hand, we made our way up to the peninsula.

--The Rides (in order)--

Magnum XL 200 (4/5) - I should probably provide some context that will be very important in regards to a few rides: I rode everything in the park with my brother, who is about 6 feet 4 inches tall. I am 5 feet 6 inches tall. That height difference impacted our experiences on multiple rides, but none more than everyone's favorite Magnum Extra Large 200. I rated this ride 4/5 stars because it is pretty rough and janky, and because--as my brother made it pretty clear--this ride is basically a torture device for tall people because of how your knees can scrape the seats in front of you, but nevertheless I have to admit that I actually had a lot of fun on it myself. I was not expecting to be a fan of the triangular airtime hills at the end, but I actually thought that the aggressiveness of that whole sequence with the hills and tunnels was really cool, and it genuinely made me involuntarily scream with shock on some of the hills because it really is one-of-a-kind airtime. Still, I absolutely get why so many people hate this ride, but I am not one of them.

Maverick (5/5) (x3) - This ride basically has a perfect layout. Relentless, aggressive, smooth, fairly long, and with what is hands down my favorite launch of all time (and I've been on Xcelerator, VelociCoaster, Taron, etc.). What's not to love? Well, one thing: the restraints. Everything about them is kinda awful. The lap bar is literally a metal tube with a bit of padding, the soft straps apparently share Magnum's anti-tall person agenda and make it painful to put your hands up, and--worst of all--I was completely stapled by the end of every single ride I took because the bar's position doesn't lock. I found that it's actually more enjoyable if you try holding onto the restraints the whole time to hold them up and avoid hitting your arms on the soft straps, but it's never good when you have to ride a coaster defensively. I know I've been complaining about the restraints a lot, but I want to reiterate that I genuinely love the ride as a whole though for how whippy, fast, and intense it is.

Millennium Force (5/5) (x3) - The ride is mad iconic, but I hear a lot of people dunking on it so I wasn't really sure what to expect. I ended up really liking it though! It actually has good, comfortable restraints (the last two rides should take notes), the first drop and overbank consistently made me gray out, the middle sequence with the two hills and island make you feel like you are flying in a way I can't describe, and the ending sequence is always fun. I think that some people dunk on this because it isn't as relentlessly extreme as most other rides in the park, but I actually view that as a positive. It feels refreshing to ride something that is just trying to be fun in a park full of coasters that are trying to kill you. And if you still think it's forceless, try a night ride, because it was HAULING when I rode it at night. As controversial as this coaster has become over the years, I'd say that the future is still riding on it.

Rougarou (2/5) - If I were taller, I'm sure this would be kinda fun. But I'm not, and the headbanging just made it painful. I doubt I'm really offending anyone by rating it 2/5 though because I've yet to meet any die hard Rougarou fans.

Iron Dragon (3/5) - I thought Ninja at SFMM was pretty fun, so I was looking forward to this. Unfortunately, it was pretty underwhelming. The second half was pretty fun but the first half was just boring and the effects on the finale were down. Still, suspended coasters are always a good time.

Siren's Curse (5/5) (x2) - I was lucky enough to get front row on this by assignment the second time, and it goes unbelievably hard in the front. My first ride was good, but I was legitimately scared during the tilt track sequence in the front. The layout itself is great, albeit a tad short by this park's standards, and the onboard audio makes it 10x better. I didn't get a night ride, but it does look insanely cool at night as well.

GateKeeper (4/5) - I found GateKeeper to be a tad overrated. The wingover drop was cool and the keyhole thread was sick, but the rest of the ride fell kinda flat and it was a bit more rattly than I expected. I'm glad it exists if not for any other reason than just for the spectacle, but I think it's honestly more fun to watch than ride.

Corkscrew (1.5/5) - This is another ride that is more fun to watch than ride. The vertical loop was a bit too forceful and I grayed out hard, and the transition into the corkscrew sequence feels awkward. The restraints also kinda suck.

Gemini (Red) (3/5) - I was impressed by the airtime on Gemini, but the pacing was a tad hit-or-miss, only one side was running (no duels), and that final helix was also a bit too forceful in a weird way. I don't regret riding it, but I probably won't ride it again unless if it is dueling.

Steel Vengeance (5/5) (x4) - Wow. I went into this ride with extremely high expectations, and it somehow blew past them, instantly becoming my new #1, beating Eejanaika for me. The reason why I waited until this late in the day to ride it is simple: I entered the park with 90 credits, and I thought it would be cool to make SteVe my #100 milestone. The ride ops allowed me to sit in the back row, and I was absolutely blown away. This ride is basically perfect for what it's trying to do, just an absolute feast of ejector airtime, inversions, headchoppers, and more throughout it's endless layout. I got a ride in the back row, a night ride, and two rides in the front row. I found the front to actually have the most aggressive airtime, but I think I enjoyed the back row and night rides the most. The ride ops were spectacular too, moving really fast to keep the lines moving but still consistently accepting row requests. My two favorite parts of the ride overall are probably the outerbank into the airtime pop into the upwards barrel roll and the wave turn-zero G roll-overbank thing just before the finale. I also was surprised by the laterals on the first camelback and how strong the airtime was on the last hill before you enter the wood structure for the last time. Everyone talks about how good the views are on Millie's lifthill, but I actually think this ride's lifthill gave some of the best views in the whole park. Literally the only thing that I think can really be improved is theming, otherwise this is basically a perfect coaster.

Top Thrill 2 (5/5) - I tried to ride this right before I left on the second day, but it went down at just the wrong time for just the wrong amount of time for me to miss out on the re-ride. Oh well, that just means that SteVe was my last ride before I left the park so I can't complain. And besides, is it really a trip to Cedar Point if you don't miss out on riding Dragster/TT2 at least once because it broke down? Anyway, the ride itself was really fun. It's a one-trick pony, sure, but it's a good trick. The backwards launch was cool, the spike actually freaked me out to be that high up looking down, the third launch just has so much power to it, the laterals going up the top hat startled me, on top of it I got a beautiful glimpse of a very red looking sun (I rode at sunset), and the drop back down is cool indeed. I also love how they have bleachers, lights, and sound effects set up to enhance the experience. As far as complaints go, the ride is obviously short but it wouldn't really be Top Thrill if it was anything different, and it has a noticeable and slightly intrusive rattle. The seats and restraints were very comfortable though, and it was an awesome experience and a cool spectacle for the park overall.

Raptor (3.5/5) - Raptor has a very intense layout that will make you gray out like nuts. The reason why I ranked it so low is the same reason I ranked Rougarou so low: headbanging. Also, it broke down a lot. But otherwise it is a great ride.

Valravn (3.5/5) - Somehow this is my first dive coaster. I rode it in the back and the drop was great, as expected, but the rest of the layout was pretty forceful and had a great second drop off the midcourse. I only ranked it so low for two reasons: 1. It is just unnecessary to have a dive coaster now that they have a better tilt coaster right next to it and 2. I actually found it to be a bit rough and gave me a slight headache. Granted, this was after riding, like 12 other coasters so I was already starting to feel a bit out of it, but I got night rides on SteVe and Millie after it and those did not bother me.

Cedar Creek Mine Ride (2/5) - I only rode two new credits on day two, so it was mostly re-rides. CCMR is pretty underwhelming, as it's basically just a less impressive Big Thunder Mountain Railroad with bad restraints. The part where it goes over the water is kinda neat but that's about it.

Blue Streak (3.5/5) - Blue Streak was more forceful than expected, having solid airtime moments especially in the first half. It was pretty rough though and could really use a retrack. Otherwise, it's decent but not a must-ride.

Overall, the coasters are amazing. I didn't ride Wild Mouse or the two kiddie coasters, but I rode everything else at least once and was blown away by the quality and quantity AND variety of the rides. I feel like the only gaps in their lineup are the lack of a large-scale wooden coaster and it would be awesome if they got some sort of Xtreme Spinner or Fourth Dimension coaster. Otherwise, it's stellar.

--Park Ranking--

#1 Steel Vengeance (1/105)

#2 Maverick (6/105)

#3 Millennium Force (12/105)

#4 Siren's Curse (15/105)

#5 Top Thrill 2 (17/105)

#6 Magnum XL 200 (28/105)

#7 GateKeeper (46/105)

#8 Raptor (62/105)

#9 Valravn (63/105)

#10 Iron Dragon (74/105)

#11 Blue Streak (78/105)

#12 Gemini (Red) (79/105)

#13 Rougarou (80/105)

#14 Cedar Creek Mine Ride (92/105)

#15 Corkscrew (103/105)

--Operations--

The operations were mostly solid. Most rides ran three trains, a few ran two, and I don't think any ran one. I mentioned earlier, but I think Steel Vengeance had the best operations in the park, consistently running three trains as fast as they could while still being flexible about rows. I only attempted to request a specific row on two other rides, Maverick and TT2, and on TT2 I was just told no while on Maverick I couldn't even ask the question before they shouted at me for not getting in my row, which I also took as a no.

It seems like GateKeeper, Raptor, Valravn, and TT2 broke down a lot, but the other rides were pretty consistent. Maverick broke down when I was trying to get a night ride unfortunately, and I think I mentioned how I couldn't reride TT2 because of the break down, but otherwise I was mostly unaffected by it.

Line cutting was never an issue during daylight hours at all, but I did notice a few cutters as I was getting my last night rides.

Still, despite those issues the ops did generally seem to be motivated to move quickly and the lines kept moving for the most part.

--Food--

I ate at three places: BackBeat Que, Smokehouse, and Hugo's Italian Kitchen. I heard that BackBeat Que supposedly has killer brisket, but I didn't see it on the menu so I got their signature mac and cheese and pork. The mac and cheese was actually really good, but otherwise it was just alright. Smokehouse was basically just a slightly worse Chipotle. I got a bowl there and it was alright but nothing amazing. At Hugo's a got a pizza and it was actually pretty good.

--Random Things to Know--

Don't come here if you are arachnophobic. At least not in late July. We didn't see as many mayflies as expected, but there were spiders EVERYWHERE. None of them touched me as far as I know, but if you look up at the roof in the queue for Steel Vengeance, Siren's Curse, etc., you will se a lot a spiders. It's practically Spider Point over there.

Fast Lane+ helped a lot. It seemed to make waits about 20-40% as long as Standby. You can probably get on 6-8ish rides in a day without it, but especially if you are going on the weekend like me you will probably want it.

Millie's station music goes hard indeed.

We stayed at Breakers, which is pretty expensive but it is super convenient that it's right next to the park. The Magnum gate is in a great central location.

--Final Notes--

Overall, I had a really good time at Cedar Point! The food and operations were pretty solid, but the park excels in both roller coaster collection and spectacle. I would absolutely recommend any coaster enthusiast to come here at least once in their life, and I will be watching any additions or changes to the park with interest.

You know, for an independent park in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania, I really didn't expect to be meeted with this many cars upon pulling into the parking lot. Knoebels was hopping, and the crowds would definitely test the capacity of the rides.

I heard a great many things about this place. "Best Wooden Coaster in the World." "Best Food at a Theme Park." And so on. The Golden Ticket Awards sure seem to like this place, but is their glazing reasonable? I needed answers, so I finally drove out to Knoebels to see what I would find (and also to marathon Phoenix). Let's start with what we are all here for, the rides:

Phoenix (5/5) (x5) - Last year, I rode a little coaster called Jack Rabbit at Kennywood. The ride was mad old, and the layout was short and not too crazy, but there was one striking thing about the ride: it used single position buzz bars. And every single time you get airtime, you physically float up into the air in the space between the seat and bar. It's awesome. Phoenix is basically Jack Rabbit if it was better in literally every conceivable way. Taller, longer, faster, stronger airtime, really fast operations, an unnecessary but kinda funny dark tunnel before the lift, and that double-up double-down slaps unbelievably hard. The whole course got me getting thrown around like a ragdoll in the best possible sense. The seat is also comfortable and the ride is smooth, so it's super re-ridable. I found that the back of the ride tended to give more violent ejector while the front is more smooth flojector, and personally I prefer the latter but I recommend trying both. My only complaint is that they ran one train at the end of the day for some reason even though the line was more packed then ever. Nevertheless, part of me genuinely wants to put this ride above El Toro because it's that fun, but it ultimately landed at my #4 spot overall, 2 spots behind Toro. Still, what a masterpiece.

Flying Turns (3.5/5) - This ride had a really long wait, but that shouldn't be surprising when each train seats three people. Not car, train. Still, I wanted to see what it was like, so I endured. It was alright. It's a cool novelty with a fairly long layout and some fairly forceful turns, but it isn't gonna blow your mind. Worth riding once, but I doubt I'd wait in that line again.

Twister (4/5) (x2) - This ride is basically the anti-Phoenix. Phoenix is a smooth, short woodie focused almost exclusively on airtime while Twister is a tall, slightly rougher woodie that focused almost exclusively on positives and laterals. It's not really my thing, but I can appreciate how it creates a solid 1-2 wooden punch when combined with Phoenix, and I love it's sign.

Impulse (4/5) - Impulse is exactly what it looks like. It has a great first drop at the start and drawn-out barrel roll near the end, and it was really smooth in the front, but it's mad short and the capacity is pretty bad, leading to long waits. Not much else to be said.

Black Diamond (2.5/5) - As a dark ride, it's kinda corney but fairly intricately themed. As a roller coaster, it has, like, two small drops and nothing else. I'm not sure what else to say.

As for my thoughts on the park, first off, the food sucked. I ate both lunch and dinner there and I have genuinely no clue why the food gets so much hype, it just wasn't very good. Then again, I thought Phantasialand's food was mid, so maybe I just keep going to the wrong places or something. Food aside, the operations were more or less pretty solid--at least two trains on most rides throughout most of the day--and the park genuinely had a really cozy, relaxed atmosphere that you don't get at a lot of places. The only non-coaster ride that I went on was the ski lift thing, and it gives some pretty solid views of the park and surrounding area. For some reason, they also close almost all of the gift shops at exactly when the rides close, so I was unable to acquire a Phoenix shirt, but I saw a really cool looking Phoenix blanket (last picture) in the shop across from Impulse, and I couldn't resist.

Overall, I'd say Knoebels was well worth the visit, if not for any other reason then to just marathon Phoenix until your legs beg for mercy. But I do genuinely believe that it's the kind of park where everyone will enjoy at least something, no matter your tastes.

I just returned from my trip to central Europe, which I visited right in the middle of a huge heatwave. The heat was generally pretty awful due to the lack of ACs in many places in Europe, but it may have actually worked to my benefit as far as the two parks that I visited are concerned by reducing wait times.

Speaking of which, Phantasialand and Energylandia are certainly unique parks to say the least.

Phantasialand 🇩🇪:

Many parks claim to blend together theming and thrills, but those two aspects are usually mutually exclusive in practice. What makes Phantasialand so exceptional is how it consistently actually does take theming seriously even on high-thrill attractions. None of the rides that I rode at the park has any shortage of theming, and it was really cool to see. As far as downsides go, the food was surprisingly mid, the queues did absolutely nothing to save you from the heat (I'm looking at you, F.L.Y.), and the ride ops were weirdly strict about seating on some rides, but I generally had a great time.

F.L.Y. (5/5) - F.L.Y. was pretty much what I expected, but I had high expectations so that is still solid praise. The theming was really cool, the ride was smooth, and the layout had decent airtime moments and unexpectedly good positives throughout the layout. Also, the ride apparently agrees with my anti-prezel loop agenda, and it doesn't make you eat s**t in the brake run, so it automatically beats B&M flyers for me. The only two real negatives that I have are that the queue was awful and that the ride actually left me feeling a little bit nauseous at the end, which is unusual for me. Still, this easily beats Tatsu for my favorite flying coaster and did slip into my top 10. Fun ride!

Colorado Adventure (5/5) (x2) - I know this might be controversial, but I genuinely think this is one of the most underrated coasters of all time. It's meant to be a family mine train-type ride with a long, 3-lifthill layout, but the train is really dang long and when you sit in the back row you get whipped all over the place. It also helps a lot that the ride never had a wait and that the second section does something that I won't spoil but that I was absolutely delighted to see. Do not skip this.

Taron (5/5) - If you expected Taron to break Phantasialand's 5/5 streak, you are sorely mistaken. I would describe this ride is being at lot like the VelociCoaster if the whole ride was heavily themed and compact instead of just the first half and if it just tries to kill you with airtime and snip-snips instead of focusing on inversions. And if the launch went RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. It doesn't beat the VelociCoaster for me, but it is only two spots behind it so it puts up a great fight. What else can I say? Great theming, great intensity, smooth, and it really is crazy that they build entire areas of the park around these coasters.

Winja's Fear (3.5/5) - This might actually be the strangest ride of the entire trip. I can barely even say anything about it without spoiling it, but it is an indoor spinning wild mouse with a weird horror-style theme (no jumpscares or anything though if you are concerned about that). It did multiple things that really caught me off-guard and there were moments where it really felt like it had potential to be a great ride. The problem is simple: it's just too short that it doesn't have time to really explore the ideas that it uses. Still, I'd actually love to see a similar ride if it was longer, better-paced, and fleshed-out it's ideas a bit more.

Black Mamba (4.5/5) - Mamba topped my list of inverts instantly, but that isn't saying much because I haven't ridden any real top-tier inverts yet. Nevertheless, this ride's theming, as you'd come to expect by now, is phenomenal. But what makes this ride special is that the theming actually has a greater impact on the ride experience because it all serves as a bunch of leg-choppers, and very effective ones at that. I genuinely felt like I was about to smash my legs into a rock for 80% of the entire ride, and it added another element of thrill. It's kinda cool how the vertical loop goes around the path, too. The layout itself... is certainly a B&M invert. Solid, but not exceptional. Overall, it's a great roller coaster for sure, but nothing mind-blowing.

I also have one non-coaster recommendation: the Chiapas log flume was amazing and gets you absolutely drenched. You know it's crazy when they actually need a lap bar for it.

As a whole, Phantasialand is an amazing park. It isn't a perfect park, but it's commitment to combining theming and thrills makes it stick out in a positive light, and it lives up to the hype for me.

Energylandia 🇵🇱:

Energylandia is a weird park. There's no way around that. You are just driving through small towns and cornfields in southern Poland and then there is suddenly the largest operating roller coaster collection in the world. And that size does help, because it disperses the crowds effectively and led to there being very short waits throughout every attraction in the park. It still takes a while to get on the rides though, because the queues take an eternity to walk though for some reason. Thankfully, they seemed to take the heat more seriously with mist-spraying machines, fans, and shade structures scattered through the queues, which was nice. I did not seriously attempt to run The Gauntlet, but I did ride about half of the park's rides.

Formula (4/5) - Formula is pretty much the Full Throttle of Energylandia; it's a perfect ride to warm up on, but it's a bit too short to be considered a headliner. Still, solid launch, inversions, airtime, smoothness, and ride as whole.

Choco Chip Creek (2.5/5) - Choco Chip Creek is basically Colorado Adventure's evil twin. It is also a family mine train with a long, three-lifthill layout, the only differences are that the theming is worse and the ride is much rougher, to the point where I actually felt a bit sick getting off of it. I don't recommend it.

Abyssus (4.5/5) - I still don't really know what to make of this one. The layout is 'objectively' great--punchy launch (I don't know why people claim it is weak, it's not), strong airtime, inverions, really forceful positives, long duration--but it wasn't my favorite subjectively. I found the positives to actually get a bit uncomfortable because it was bullying my circulator system so much, and I got off the ride feeling even more nauseous (but again I did ride this after Choco Chip Creek, so I don't know who to blame there). It's undeniably a good ride, even a great ride, but I didn't find it to be a particularly "fun" ride.

Zadra (5/5) (x2) - Yeah this is the best ride on the whole trip... like it was ever a competition. This is easily the best RMC I've been on, but I haven't been on SteVe or Gwazi yet, and I do personally expect SteVe to beat it because I am a sucker for a long ride. Nevertheless, this still easily beats Hakugei for my current top RMC. The first drop is great, the first ejector pop turnaround thing is awesome, the stall is mad iconic and fun, the wave turn is just mean, the camelback is strong, the stepup-underflip doesn't beat Wildcat's Revenge but is still fun, the snip snip is sadistic, and the zero-G roll is forceful. And it absolutely flies through all of that in a blur. I rode it near the front and back and while the back had a better first drop and was smoother (???), I found most of the ride to actually be a bit more intense near the front, so either is great. As far as complaints go, it wasn't quite as smooth as I'd expect from RMC (although it was never rough enough to really bother me even as someone sensitive to roughness), and it is definitely too short in a world with Steel Vengeance, but those minor issues do little to detract from my love of this ride. It is currently my #4 (between VC and Taron), but that could change either way as I think more about it. Incredible ride!

Dragon Roller Coaster (3.5/5) - Dragon my balls across your face is alright. The first drop caught me off guard by how good it was, and the station fly-by was cool, but the ride is mad short and fairly underwhelming otherwise.

Hyperion (5/5) - HYPErion exceeded my expectations. After running 4/5ths of a triathlon to make it through the station (seriously, why is it so long?), I rode in the back-middle-left, and it blew me away. Even though I think Zadra is slightly more fun, this is easily the most intense ride in the park. It just murders you with ejector airtime from beginning to end. The station theming is also really cool and builds up hype. The only downside is that the ride is not smooth by any stretch of the imagination, but I leaned forward for most of the ride so it didn't bother me too much. Fantastic stuff.

Speed (3/5) - The elevator lift and drops/splashdowns are fun, everything else is mid.

Viking Roller Coaster (0.5/5) - I rode this because I saw that it was ranked dead last in Captain Coaster's World Roller Coaster Rankings. They were right. If you want to know why, just look up a pov because I don't want to talk about it.

Roller Coaster Mayan (1.5) - My first SLC, and I get it now. I did not know what roughness was before I rode this. It would be... well... rough to end on this note, but thankfully I got a second lap on Zadra before I left.

Overall, Energylandia was actually a lot more fun than I expected. I had a lot of fun with half of the rides and despised the other half, but it was still kind of a beautiful, chaotic mess of an experience as a whole.

I think Phantasialand is a better park by objective standards, but I actually think I had a bit more fun at Energylandia just because getting to go on 19 roller coasters with no wait in one park is just plain fun, but both are certainly must-visits in Europe.

Chat is this accurate?

This park somehow managed to impress and disappoint me in ways that I never imagined possible before today.

I live in the Philly area and have been into rollercoasters for a bit under two years now, so I was long overdue to visit SFGA. I finally made the visit today and it was absolutely... something. I feel like what I love and despise about this park can be cleanly divided into two categories, so I'll structure my report as such.

--The Coasters--

[Nitro] (x2)

-Nitro is my second ever B&M Hyper (behind Candymonium) and it's the best of the two in my opinion. Yeah, the track is ugly and it is a but rougher than most, but it has a strong layout with good floater airtime. I'm not sure what else to say about it; It was exactly what I wanted and expected. It was both my first and last ride of the day.

[Jersey Devil]

-This ride was better than I thought it would be. I have been on Wonder Woman at SFMM, and I am in the apparent minority that prefers Devil. It's a much smoother ride with basically the same layout, and in some neat scenery. I heard that it runs slower on some days, but if it does I wouldn't know.

[Dark Knight]

-I knew nothing about this ride going in and had pretty low expectations. It didn't even meet those expectations. Dark Knight is a barely-themed wild mouse in the dark with some disco lights at the end. Was it worth the wait? Of course not. Do I regret riding it? Not really, just because I found it absolutely hilarious.

[El Toro]

-After Dark Knight, we wanted to ride something that is actually good. I planned to wait until the end of the day to ride Toro, but caved around mid-day. I've heard a lot about this ride going in, but I wasn't sure if it would live up to expectations.

Holy s**t.

That was the most aggressive ride I've been on in my whole life, hands down. It genuinely makes airtime on most other coasters feel boring by comparison. Nothing I've been on compares to it, and nothing can prepare you for it going in. I rode it at the front of the back car, and the first drop, two camelbacks, and Rolling Thunder hill in particular were merciless. The retracking also seems to have worked, because I am typically sensitive to roughness but it didn't bother me at all until after the Rolling Thunder hill, and even then it was manageable. All of that said, I'm still undecided if this is my new favorite or not. As crazy as it is, I'm not sure it can match just how straight-up fun Eejanaika or VelociCoaster are. I'll need to think about it.

And if you are wondering why I only rode it once... more on that later.

[Medusa]

-I went into this ride with relatively low expectations, but it actually surprised me. It was much smoother than expected, and the inversions all hit. It's not the most memorable or interesting ride of all time, but it certainly gets that job done.

--The Operations--

The operations, put simply, were a complete joke. Here's why:

-Joker and Vertical Velocity didn't open until around noon, and both experienced downtime multiple times later in the day.

-El Toro broke down while I was in the front of the line, but thankfully they were able to fix in it about a half hour.

-Vertical Velocity has strict height restrictions, so I had to ride it alone, and then--surprise--it broke down while I was in the front of the line so I just gave up and left. The ride op said that it broke down multiple times that day, including valleying once.

-Superman Ultimate Flight broke down after we got in line.

-Paid lockers everywhere, except El Toro and I think one other ride that I forgot. They don't let you use zipper pockets at least on Jersey Devil, and probably on other rides as well.

-Superman Ultimate Flight tested once later, dispatched one train of guests, and then broke down again immediately as we were in line... again. 😑

-Medusa broke down briefly.

-And--by far the worst instance in my opinion--I was trying to get one last ride on El Toro to end off the night just before 8 PM. The park closes at 8, but I thought it closed later and I arrived at about 7:55ish PM. Being a passholder, I asked the employee at the entrance if I could use my two free skip-the-line passes with the person I was with so we could both skip the line. She explained that we could, I tried to help me figure out how to do so in the app, but it didn't work for whatever reason. I sat down nearby to try and figure it out, but a moment later, the other employee at the gate suddenly close the entrance shut. I was confused and went up to ask them what was happening. The employee who was helping my asked the other one if they should just let me through because I was already there before closing and just trying to figure things out.

"It's closed," was all he said in response.

We did not end up getting the re-ride in. I understand that technically they did close the line before we entered it, but the whole situation still leaves me with a really sour taste in my mouth and I feel like they should have handled it differently. Even if they wouldn't let me use the skip-the-line without proof that I have access to it, why not at least give me a heads-up about the park closing and suggest that I get in the standby queue? And I also fail to understand why they refused to budge after the line was closed. It's not like letting me in would hurt anybody.

--Conclusion--

SFGA has some phenomenal rides--and more along the way--but I still don't know if I plan on returning if things keep functioning the way the are. The operations leave much to be desired, and what is a good coaster even worth if you can't ride it? Thanks for listening to my rant, and lemmie know your thoughts.