Arrange marriage just does not appeal to me
I’m a pretty young guy and I’ve wanted to get married for some time. As with half the ummah, this urge has come about too prematurely as I’ve yet to finish my studies. That being said my parents said that as a person they think ready (maturity and what not) but they say that I need to be in a better position I.e finish my studies and land a firm job as a healthcare professional which I 10000% agree with but I just can’t help it I can’t make time go any quicker and I’ve still got a few years ahead of me.
Also, when it comes to arrange marriages I just can’t see myself doing that. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to say I’d like to get to know someone more than what’s basically a controlled lab environment before I spend the rest of my life with her. It’s not an issue for me in terms of actual capability when I was younger I did speak to the odd girl here and there and I was fine (didn’t go too far allhamdulilah stayed away from anything crazy) . I’m good with my words- I can talk for England as u can tell by the length of this post that’s not the issue. Issue is how do I do that in a halal way.
There was this one girl who’s a couple years older than me I started speaking to after a long time of not speaking to one in that way. Around January times and we spoke for a couple of months. She was maybe one the sweetest people I’d ever spoke to and she expressed so much positivity towards me aswell, we had lots of deep convos and had so much in common even childhood tv shows for example . We were both really feeling it (so I thought) and then there was a day I was genuinely about to let her know I wanted to take things further, and then just before I typed that message out she comes on chat and says so randomly that she has a lot on her plate rn and she just can’t give any sort of of relationshipy type thing any more thought or attention. I don’t think I did anything I just think she wasn’t feeling it anymore from her end. Can’t complain though I’m wasn’t gonna try negotiating I just told her that’s ok and I wished her the best even though I won’t lie it did blindside me a little bit like why so suddenly when things where so good between us for a good couple of months before.