r/ShiaMuslimMarriage

Assalamualaikum

New on reddit keep a look

Minors should be carefull you'll be not entertain and

Not invited

Age: 22

Origin/Ethnicity: indian

Languages spoken : urdu hindi english (marathi as well)

Level of religious practice: alhamdulillah namaz, roza ,Tahajjud sometimes as not regular

Current residence :📍mumbai India

Willing to relocate: don't think so

Siblings: one elder sister

Occupation: working in own firm as a accountant

Education: bachelor's in accounting and finance

Height: (180cm), weight 70kg):

Physical appearance: slim fit tall

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah: No

Leisure activities: into sports football cricket running

Your Preferences in a Partner: kind loving caring

Age range: 21-25

Origin/Ethnicity: doesn't matter

Languages: urdu, English

Level of religious practice: a good heart to and willingness to continue learning and improving in deen

Education: any

Deal breakers: egoistic disrespect and disloyalty are not acceptable

Other preferences: as I'm settled in Mumbai willingly to move

Hijab is not my concern if she wants

I'll not force into it

Already hijabi is more beautiful and welcoming

Additional Information you like to add: happy to share more details in dms

I have a genuine question and would appreciate respectful answers, especially from those knowledgeable about Sistani fiqh.

I am a 34-year-old woman who has been separated from my husband since 2021. He refuses to grant me a divorce, even though there are not chances of us to connect again.

I’ve had good a marriage proposal, but because the man weren’t Syed, I’ve been expected to keep waiting. At this point, I’m exhausted. Sometimes I seriously consider going through the judicial process to obtain a divorce and then marrying whoever I choose. I can’t put my life on hold forever.

Given these circumstances, I sometimes fear being driven toward something that may not be allowed. Is mut’ah permissible for someone in my situation just to avoid attempting a sin while I am still religiously married to a husband who refuses to divorce me and he himself already married to a woman? Or is it completely prohibited until the marriage is formally dissolved?

I just want to avoid sin and understand the correct ruling.

As-salāmu ʿalaykum wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuh!

Welcome to a community for Shi'a Muslims living in North America, as well as anyone interested in learning about Shi'a Islam in a North American context.

Whether you're a lifelong Shi'a, a convert, a student, or simply here to learn, we're glad you're here. Our goal is to build a respectful, knowledgeable, and welcoming community where members can discuss faith, fiqh, history, current events, community life, and the unique experiences of being Shi'a in America.

Please take a moment to read the community rules before posting. We ask everyone to engage with good character (akhlaq), treat one another with respect, and keep discussions civil and beneficial.

May Allah (SWT) bless this community, increase us in knowledge, unite our hearts upon truth, and make this a place of support and learning for all.

Welcome, and we're happy to have you with us!

After years on Muslim marriage apps... here are my totally unofficial, scientifically unverified findings. 😂

🇮🇶 Iraqi: The premium edition. If an Iraqi woman likes you, don't overthink it—just say Alhamdulillah. The only mystery is how Iraqi men dream of a second wife while being terrified of the first. 🤣

🇰🇼 Kuwaiti: Never talked to one, but my Kuwaiti friend gave me a five-second review: "Run." I respect expert opinions. 😂

🇪🇬 Egyptian: Even if she rejects you, she'll do it so politely you'll probably thank her for it. 😅

🇱🇧 Lebanese: I went in looking for a wife... and came out wondering if I needed therapy. 🤡

🇵🇸 Palestinian: Tough, resilient, and built to survive anything. I was looking for a wife, not a teammate for the apocalypse. 😂

🇲🇦 Moroccan: There were so many on the apps that my brain said, "I'll come back later." Years later... I'm still "coming back later." 🤦‍♂️

🇧🇭 Bahraini: Some of my favorite people in the world. The only challenge is convincing one to move abroad—probably harder than convincing a cat to take a bath. 😆

🇸🇦 Saudi: I actually clicked instantly with one Saudi woman living in Canada, which proved exceptions exist. But overall, it often feels like we're running completely different operating systems. 😂

🇸🇾 Syrian: Haven't had the chance yet, but first impressions suggest intelligence, culture, and maturity. Promising!

Outside the Arab world...

🇵🇰🇺🇸 Pakistani-American: Let's just say... that chapter closed very quickly. 🚪😂

🇮🇳🇺🇸 Indian-American: Similar story.

🇮🇳 Indian (raised in India): Humble, feminine, and refreshingly down-to-earth. Definitely worth keeping an open mind.

🇮🇷 Iranian: Beautiful, and many are deeply religious, but I feel like our personalities would be speaking different languages.

Final conclusion:

I didn't mean to become a marriage expert...

Somehow I ended up writing Yelp reviews for entire nationalities. 🤣

Disclaimer: This is obviously based on my own experiences and observations. Your mileage may vary. 😅

Your Essential Information:

Age: 27

Origin/Ethnicity: Mixed/Sayyid

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): English

Level of religious practice: I am a strict shia usuli/jafaari/twelver

Current residence (city, country): As of now, I am in the Philippines

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or write 'anywhere'): Yes, it depends where my future wife work place.

Siblings (number and older/younger): 4/ I'm the eldest

Previously married/Kids: No

Occupation: Teacher

Education: Bachelor's Degree Holder

Height (cm), weight (kg): 166cm, 65kg

Physical appearance (specifics you think are important):

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No): Strictly No.

Leisure activities: Gym, Solving Puzzles, Listen lectures of the Ayatollah, Performing Dua, and Reading Books.

Your Preferences in a Partner:

Age range: 18-22

Origin/Ethnicity: Any as long as

Languages: Arabic, English

Level of religious practice: Shia Usuli/Jafaari/Twelver

Hijabi (F) (Yes/No): Yes, Must! It is wajib.

Education: Any as long as you are a licensed degree holder.

Physical appearance: Slim/Average Height (5'2) or (5'4)/Oval Face/Pointed Nose/Wavy Hair or Straight Hair

Deal breakers: No vices.

Other preferences (e.g., family situation): Nuclear Family

Additional Information you would like to provide to enable a better match: I am a Man who aims higher learning in the field of professional growth at the same time in religion.

Wa salaam.

Salam!

Figured Ill try my luck on here :)

1. ⁠⁠Age and Gender 
   29, female. 165cm and slim fit.

2. ⁠⁠Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect
   27-35, open for the right person.

3. ⁠⁠Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect? 
   Toronto, Canada. Prefer to stay in Canada, but can consider US for the right guy.

4. ⁠⁠Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing? 
   Iraqi, Arabs preferably but open for the right guy

5. ⁠⁠Marital Status:
   single, never married.

6. ⁠⁠Ideal marriage timeline:
   12 months

7. ⁠⁠Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect:
   Intellect, emotional maturity, control over emotions/not easy to anger, physically fit, deen

8. ⁠⁠State/specify your level of religiosity. 
   Practising, I do the wajibat, wear hijab, attend mosque, listen to lectures and read books to educate myself

9. ⁠⁠Level of education, and what are you looking for?
   I have a Masters degree, pursing PhD. Partner should have University degree minimum, Masters would be great just because i’m in academia, would be nice to have someone who understands that

10. ⁠⁠Current Job Status.
    PhD Student; I work at the university

11. ⁠⁠Do you want kids? 
    Open to having kids

12. ⁠⁠List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time. 
    reading fiction books, gym classes (pilates, spin, yoga), long distance walking, running, watching documentaries and youtube video essays

13. ⁠⁠Add something short and interesting about you that makes you stand out!
    Im curious by nature, I love travelling and going to museums to learn new things. Im currently learning Farsi for fun! I play a lot of different sports, but my favourite is soccer :)

​I truly believe that authentic relationships are built on souls that complement and understand one another. Because shared cultural backgrounds bring a unique flavor and deeper understanding to life, I am looking for an Arab life partner to share tomorrow's details with and to write a story of stability and warmth together.

​About Me:

I am a 24-year-old young man, naturally gentle, calm, and deeply supportive. Above all, I value commitment and mutual respect. In my nature, I naturally lean toward being the one who leans on, is protected, and is cherished in the relationship—I seek security under the care of someone who can guide our ship with wisdom and love, being my ultimate support. In return, I offer my partner the utmost care, profound love, and absolute respect. I am fully ready to stand firmly by his side, cooperating hand-in-hand to build our life together and support one another through all circumstances, both materially and emotionally.

​What I am Looking For in a Partner:

​Honesty and Loyalty: The foundational cornerstones my heart will never compromise on.

​Self-Acceptance: Someone who is at peace with himself, spontaneous, and accepts me just as I am.

​A Soulful Connection: I am searching for someone who loves me for my soul, my personality, and my worth as a human being—far from any fleeting material or physical gaze.

​Our Vision for the Future:

It doesn't matter where we stand right now; what matters is where we will arrive together. I am completely ready to take it step by step, and build our life from scratch, as long as the driving force is genuine love and a sincere desire for stability and mutual support.

I realize that past disappointments or bitter experiences can make people fearful and hesitant, but I assure you that this post comes from a place of utter seriousness and genuine intent. Our space here is built on absolute safety; every detail of your privacy will remain a well-guarded secret between just the two of us. I am here first and foremost to extend a hand of friendship, turning that hesitation into trust.

​If you find these qualities in yourself, see me as the partner who complements your soul, and aspire to build a warm home filled with respect and affection, I would be very happy to connect and get to know each other more deeply. ✨

Bismillah

Salaam Alaykum

I hope everyone is well

So I’m a Shia revert from Sunni Islam
I reverted on my own and my family are all still Sunni.

I want to get closer to Allah and follow in the footsteps of ahlul bayt a.s

My dream is to make ziyarah for the first time and visit Karbala and Najaf inshallah

That’s why it would be amazing if there are any Iraqi men here :)

Age: 20

Origin/Ethnicity: Bangladeshi

Hijabi (F) (Yes/No): Yes

Current residence (city, country): Dhaka, Bangladesh

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or ‘anywhere’): yes

Siblings (number and older/younger): 1 younger brother

Previously married/Kids: single, never married

Height (cm), weight (kg): 158 cm, 54 kgs

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No): no

Your Preferences in a Partner:

Tall and handsome - I know I sound shallow but we are gonna be married forever so attraction is kinda important for both of us.

Age range: 25-37

Origin/Ethnicity: IRAQI or similar

Languages: English, Arabic

Level of religious practice: must be practicing Shia Muslim, praying, Fasting, ziyarah

Deal breakers: disloyalty, irresponsibility, immaturity, smoking/drinking/drugs

Please send a profile of yourself too and only DM if u actually have serious intentions.

Jazakum Allah khair

1. ⁠Age and Gender - 29,female. 165cm and slim fit.

2. ⁠Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect - 28- 35, open for the right person.

3. ⁠Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect? Melbourne, Australia. Not willing to relocate, looking for someone local.

4. ⁠Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing? Afghan

5. ⁠Marital Status - Single/Divorced/Children. Separated, no children. I am open to someone who is divorced, separated, or doesn't want children.

6. ⁠Ideal marriage timeline. 6 - 12 months.

7. ⁠Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect. Traditional, deen, intellect, good communication, and respect.

8. ⁠State/specify your level of religiosity. Moderately practising, I do the wajibs , and focus on the spiritual and intellectual aspects of Islam.

9. ⁠Level of education, and what are you looking for? Student. Prefer someone educated but open for any level of education.

10. ⁠Current Job Status. Working part time in retail

11. ⁠Do you want kids? Not sure

12. ⁠List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time. Gym, walking, coffee and food (big foodie), TV shows and movies, learning about Islam.

13. ⁠Add something short and interesting about you that makes you stand out! I am looking for someone who’s emotionally intelligent I prefer someone mature and open minded. Someone that has experience and understands relationships are hard work, and require effort from both parties, based on Islam and the duties of both husband and wife.

We are looking for a suitable match for a 24-year-old Pakistani Shia girl who was born and raised in Sydney, Australia and is open to moving to North America

She is kind, family-oriented, and has a fun, easygoing personality. She enjoys spending quality time with family and friends, has a good sense of humour, and values meaningful relationships. Alongside her outgoing nature, she is committed to her faith and strives to maintain Islamic values in her daily life.
She is open-minded, well-balanced, and looking for a partner who shares similar values and is serious about building a loving, respectful, and faith-centred marriage.

Looking for:
Pakistani or Indian Shia
Religiously minded and family-oriented
Fun, kind, and emotionally mature
Aged approximately 24–30
Someone with good character, a stable career, and sincere intentions toward marriage.

Please comment if you are interested

Hi! I’m posting here for my good friend because she’s one of the kindest, prettiest, most funny people I know and it astounds me that she hasn’t found her soulmate yet. With her permission to post, I figured why not give Reddit a try?

A few things about her,

- art teacher currently, I’ve seen her around kids and she’s wonderful with them

- she has a master’s degree in HR from University of Southern California, I forgot what her bachelor’s is in but she went to University of Connecticut for undergrad

- currently lives in Oakland, California. She’s down to relocate but only specific places in the states since her family lives in california (brother, sister, parents, some extended family) and she’s close with them, so generally bigger cities where it’s easier to fly to visit friends and family

- she was born in Pakistan and moved to the states when she was 8, she’s a US citizen and super proud of her Pakistani heritage

- very affectionate and caring, I’ve seen her go above and beyond for the people she loves, she’s very thoughtful

- amazing sense of humor, loves to laugh, the kind of person who cracks jokes but can also get deep and serious in conversation

- she does want children, but she’s not willing to settle just to get married and have children. She’s willing to wait for love.

I can go on and on so just message me if you want more information and please share about yourself if you are interested!

As the title says im 31, divorced male from the GCC.
Born in the GCC, lived sometime in america.

Currently working in the oil sector 8 years, holder of a diploma in electrical engineering

I consider myself religious and always trying to do better everyday. Not flawless but I think my flaws are tolerable to some.

Over 10 years of experience in the gym and the kitchen

I like to be independent even if it means sacrifices here and there, marriage to me is a job and a commitment and my independence is not separate from my future wife as we are on the same ship.

Im 184.77cm @ 76Kg

Fluent in english and arabic, i love history and being a shia.

Looking for a girl who cares about our faith, isn't brainwashed by western propaganda, and has a mind that is willing to grow and learn.

Preferably of Arabic descent and needs to be able to communicate well and puts God above everything to the best of her abilities

​

Hello everyone,

After a 10-year marriage that ultimately ended in divorce, I found myself reflecting on the entire journey what went right, what went wrong, and all the lessons that could have made a difference. I spoke with a few people, both men and women, and it hit me: many people are searching for a spouse but may not fully understand the depth of what marriage truly is.

I’m sharing my experiences here, not to discourage anyone but to shed light on what I wish I’d known. Hopefully, these insights will be helpful to anyone seriously considering marriage or looking to strengthen their current relationship.

1. Intentions Matter More Than We Realize

When I first got married, I thought love alone would carry us through anything. But over the years, I realized that the foundation of a relationship isn’t just emotions; it’s intentions. Having clear, shared intentions from the beginning what we both wanted from life, our values, our commitment to support each other would have helped us steer through the tougher times. Start your marriage with sincerity and know why you’re committing to each other.

2. Don’t Overlook Small Acts of Kindness

It’s easy to assume that grand gestures will keep the spark alive, but I found that small, consistent acts of kindness build a stronger bond over time. A gentle word, a little patience, or even just a smile after a long day speaks volumes. The daily, quiet kindnesses we often overlook are the glue that holds everything together. Over time, I think we forgot this, focusing too much on what wasn’t working rather than nurturing each other in small ways.

3. Communication is Hard, But it’s the Backbone

People say “communicate” all the time, but let’s be real it’s not as easy as it sounds. For years, I didn’t know how to express my feelings without holding back or without frustration. We had different communication styles, which sometimes made us feel worlds apart. I learned that communication is a skill you work on continuously. It means being honest, patient, and humble enough to listen without ego. If I had practiced this earlier, maybe we could’ve navigated conflicts better.

4. Value Growth in Yourself and Each Other

One of my biggest regrets is that we didn’t focus on growing together as individuals. Marriage should be a journey where you’re both evolving, learning, and pushing each other towards personal betterment. I learned too late that a healthy marriage is one where each person is supportive of the other’s growth not threatened by it. If you see your partner growing, encourage them. Celebrate their wins, and let them do the same for you.

5. Don’t Carry Resentments; Address Them Early

Over time, small grievances and unspoken feelings can turn into resentment. I let issues pile up, hoping they’d resolve on their own, but they rarely do. When you let them fester, they turn into silent barriers. Now I know that when something bothers you, you need to bring it up respectfully and work through it together. An open heart, no matter how difficult the conversation, will save you so much pain down the line.

6. Understand That It’s Not Always About Winning

Looking back, I wish I had focused less on being “right” and more on understanding my partner’s perspective. Sometimes, in the heat of disagreements, I felt the need to prove my point, and it drove a wedge between us. Remember that you and your spouse are on the same team. There’s no winning if it comes at the cost of peace in your relationship.

7. Patience and Forgiveness Are Your Best Friends

Marriage is full of moments where you’ll need patience and forgiveness. There were times when I was quick to point out flaws and mistakes, but rarely stopped to think about the effect of my words. Learning to forgive genuinely not holding grudges is key to a peaceful relationship. Forgiveness doesn’t mean ignoring what hurt you; it means choosing to move forward without bitterness.

8. Remember That Faith is a Guiding Light

Throughout my journey, the principles of patience, compassion, and mutual respect kept me grounded. Whether it was enduring hardships, finding compassion during disagreements, or simply reminding myself of the blessings we shared, my faith reminded me of a bigger picture. Leaning on these values, even in the hardest times, gave me peace and perspective.

My Takeaway

While my marriage ultimately ended, I carry these lessons with me. I hope sharing them can help anyone else out there trying to build or sustain a marriage. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and none of us are perfect, but we can always learn from each other.

If there’s one thing I’d say to anyone getting married or working through marital challenges, it’s this: cherish and respect each other, forgive easily, and grow together. Because even if things don’t work out in the end, at least you’ll know you did your best.

29M Muslim - After 4 years of marriage, repeated violence and disrespect have left me wanting a divorce. Looking for advice from anyone who’s been through something similar.
This is my first Reddit post, so please bear with me.
I’m a 29-year-old Muslim living in the UK. I’ve been Islamically married for 4 years to my 25-year-old wife, and we have a daughter who is just under one year old.
The first year of our marriage was genuinely amazing. I honestly felt I’d found the perfect wife. We had normal disagreements like most couples, but they never affected the love and respect we had for each other.
Things changed after our white wedding when my wife fell out with my sister. I tried to resolve things diplomatically, but my wife wanted me to aggressively confront my sister and completely take her side. When I refused, she began saying I wasn’t “being a man” and that I didn’t know how a husband should lead.
What hurt me even more was that she began insulting my family. She described them as “low class”, “uneducated”, “lazy” and “ignorant”, while saying her own family were educated, respected and above mine. She even told me that trying to speak to my sister was “lowering her class”. I was devastated hearing someone I loved speak about my family that way.
Unfortunately, things escalated beyond words.
Over the course of our marriage my parents were insulted, siblings were insulted, I’ve been slapped, punched, kicked, bitten, head-butted, had objects thrown at me, been threatened with boiling water, had my work laptop and clothes thrown out of a window, and during one argument my wife pulled a knife on me and prevented me from leaving the house. I never retaliated physically.
I didn’t tell my parents because I was embarrassed and desperately wanted the marriage to work. Whenever they asked about scratches on my face, I’d make excuses.
When I eventually told my wife’s parents, I hoped they would condemn what had happened. Instead, I felt much of it was minimised or explained away. I was told there was “a reason” she behaved like that and later encouraged to stop bringing the violence up because it was in the past.
Throughout all of this I kept hoping things would improve, which is also why we ended up having a child together. Looking back, I know that wasn’t the right decision, but I genuinely believed things could still be repaired.
The hardest part is that even now I don’t feel there has ever been real accountability. Arguments are often followed by acting as if nothing happened, while I’m left carrying the emotional impact. Over time I’ve become far less patient than I used to be, and I don’t recognise the person I’ve become in this marriage.
I’ve reached the point where I believe divorce is the right decision. My biggest fear isn’t the divorce itself—it’s my daughter. I love her more than anything, and I’m scared about not seeing her every day and how co-parenting will work.
Has anyone, particularly other Muslim fathers or fathers in the UK, been through something similar? How did you navigate divorce, co-parenting and rebuilding your life afterwards? Any advice please

Personal Information:

Age: 30

Kids : 1 child / divorced

Ethnicity/Origin : Palestinian, born and raised in America. Currently living in Palestine

Language : English and Arabic
Height / Weight : 5’10 - 115kg

Religious level : I grew up Sunni and as an adult I became Shia. I consider myself religious but there’s always room to grow closer to Ahlal Bayt

Occupation : Work with my family

Open to relocate : yes

Hijab : No

Looking for

Age : 30-40

Religious level : similar or greater than mine

Traits : ability to lead, decisive, respectful, strong communication skills, and had the ability to accept my child as they will stay with me.

Prefer someone Arab

Posting for the second time

I’m a 26-year-old Shia Khoja Muslim, born and raised in Karachi, currently at a stage in life where I’m genuinely looking for marriage and a long-term partner to build a stable future with.
I work in my family business, which has given me responsibility, independence, and a strong work ethic from a young age. I also attended business school, which further strengthened my understanding of business and leadership. Outside of work, I enjoy traveling, exploring new places, and experiencing different cultures whenever I get the chance.
The qualities I value most are loyalty, respect, emotional maturity, and a peaceful, family-oriented life. I’m looking for a genuine connection with someone who is equally serious about building a happy and lasting marriage.

What I’m looking for:
Shia women
Age 23–26
Family-oriented, respectful, and emotionally mature
Serious about marriage and building a stable future together
Kind, grounded, and committed
If this resonates with you, feel free to reach out.

What are the conditions for unreasonable refusal? If the father/ guardian of girl refuses the match but the girl is agree?

They give other options they like..

Does this condition void the parent's right to give permission and couple can exercise their rights i.e via the state etc?

As Salam Alaikum Everyone,

Firstly, thank you for reading my post. I have been married since 4 years now. My husband has been very kind and supportive throughout the my marriage, but 2 years ago I found out that my husband watches nude women excessively on a secret device, I was very much hurt but he promised that he would never do it again. This year on 3rd April, I found a secret instagram account on which he would again watch women at least 1 hour per day and would save their posts, and I am pregnant and was hospitalized and I found this account only 2 days after being hospitalized, he again said sorry and promised that he wouldn’t do it again, 3 days ago I found out that he used a secret device to create another account on instagram on 15th April, by that time I hadn’t even forgiven him, I was still very hurt, and he would see how hurt I was yet he made another account and was secretly watching women while I was in my room on strict bed rest. I don’t understand what all this is about and I am soo soo hurt because he knew how hurt I was, everything that I was going through while being pregnant yet he made another account and was doing the same deed while apologizing and fooling me again. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if he even loves me or not because he keeps saying that he wouldn’t do it the next time, and what bothers me is that he isn’t interested in me, does not desire me, does not watch me, does not cherish me but watches the same body parts of other women, and then still claims that he loves me. I am so so so scared and so hurt.

Men and women both have preferences.

For instance, If a woman wants to marry a guy who is rich, tall with a six pack, it's totally fine.

In the same way, if a man in his 30s wants to marry a woman who is in her early 20s, that's also totally fine.

Let's not criticise and shame one another. At the end of the day, it's none of your business

People have their own preferences, reasons, struggles etc... Sometimes, Allah swt puts us in difficult tests and we need to have tawakkul, and try our best.

May Allah swt make it easy for us all