r/ShiaMuslimMarriage

I met a man whom I found to be suitable for marriage we both like each other and are like minded when it comes to raising a family religion and I’ve learned so much religion thanks to him because he explains things to me so patiently. In his family the mother is the one who seeks a wife and she has began looking for him but when he brought me up his mom didn’t agree because I’m a convert and she fears the upbringing of her grandchildren by growing with non Muslim influences such as my family. I’m very heartbroken because I genuinely want to marry this man and in my opinion those influences are everywhere and my mom has agreed to not get involved into my children religion or beliefs and to respect it, am I in the wrong? How can I further reassure her to have her acceptance? I’m really heartbroken because I’ve never felt as happy and comfortable with a man as I do with him her concerns are real and valid but I genuinely feel looked down upon for being a convert I’ve always wished for my own Muslim family so I wouldn’t play around with that I wouldn’t let anyone influence my kids, I’m family oriented and all I wish is a family with a good man

Salam,
I am a 33yr old Iraqi woman who has never been married. I grew up in the states but originally from Iraq. I’m looking for a Shia man who is educated, well rounded, knowledgeable and respectful who values deen and is practicing. I’m looking for a man who values being a husband, father and partner inshallah.

A little about me: I work in healthcare and love my career but am more than ready for the next chapter in my life including being a caring and loving wife and supportive partner. I’m looking for my best friend the future father of my children. I would prefer someone in the US or Canada who grew up in the west and shares similar upbringing.

I guess I need to add a little more to my post.
I’m looking for an Arab man 30-45 is ideal, over 5’10. I’m looking for someone who is practicing, prays fast, no drink or smoking or drug use. Educated and has at least a bachelors degree. Wants to be a provider and has similar interests as me.
I’m 5’6, I love reading, baking, cooking puzzles, needlepoint and working out. I enjoy travel and adventure. I’m not a sports watcher but will cheer on your team and make you snacks.

I do wear hijab and take care of myself and prefer to dress modestly.

Hey everyone, hope you guys are well.

May Allah make ease for us all and help us find what's best for us.

Putting yourself out there is genuinely no easy feat, it takes up a hell lot of courage, to just take the step.

Everyone is struggling, hurting, tired maybe, so, let's just all be kind to each other, honest to each other and open with your potential.

Be kind, be respectful, please don't ghost or disappear, it hurts and causes a lot of pain and overthinking, specially if you're in the advanced stages.

I the end, I'll just repeat my prayer for everyone, may Allah make ease for us all and help us find the best for us.

Good luck out there, have Tawakkul, we got this insha Allah.

Allow me to vent here a bit guys please. I have posted before on this community as well and I got some good advices so I give it a try again. I have been talking to other girls/their families for marriage and I don’t know why no matter what there is always something that comes up with families. The problem was not me and the other girl not being interested or attracted and the families just made up surprising scenarios that they made out of thin air which “MIGHT” happen, so tawakkul and imaan have turned to fairy tales now I assume.

Other people even here suggested to me that I should do my best to just get married in this reddit community.I tried and this is not something that just keep doing without frustration.

I have always tried my best to not fall for sins but at this point I’m not sure really. I don’t wanna make it depressing so I’m not gonna get into details of what happened… I’m not even depressed or anything but when you give all you have and get nothing back it gets really hard.

On the other side its super easy to just go for haram and I have had the chance to go for it before and I didn’t. Some people told me if it’s not possible just go for temporary marriage/muta for now and maybe that turns to marriage or just do it so I don’t fall into sins. I don’t know what to do, and some of my colleagues tells me to just go to a bar with them and meet other girls. I don’t wanna go that route and I have had friends that went down that way and ended up being much less practicing. Even there were other girls that showed interest in my life and I didn’t entertain it because I wanted to do everything the “right” way…

Any practical advice other than having more patience?
Thanks

Salam all! After stalking this sub for the past year, the time has come to shoot my shot.

Your Essential Information:

Age: 24

Origin/Ethnicity: Indian but open to any ethnicity. I’m not cultural. 

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): English, Urdu 

Level of religious practice: Strictly practicing 

Current residence (city, country): Melbourne, Aus

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or 'anywhere'): Interstate (but not WA, NT, TAS or QLD pls) 

Siblings: I have siblings 

Previously married/Kids: Neither  

Occupation: Consultant  

Education: Bachelors  

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No): none

Leisure activities: gym, sports, travel, reading, stalking this sub 

Your Preferences in a Partner:

Age range: 24-30 

Origin/Ethnicity: any 

Languages: English at the minimum 

Level of religious practice: actively/strictly practicing. 

Education: Minimum a bachelors 

Deal breakers: 

1. Wants to live with his parents after marriage; overly controlling family dynamics or being heavily constrained by parental expectations.
2. No spiritual or worldly purpose and goals to strive towards.
3. Unhealthy coping mechanisms including substance abuse (weed, vaping etc). 
4. Narcissistic, controlling and manipulative behaviours.
5. A lack of confidence, decisiveness, and assertiveness that affects one’s ability to take initiative and responsibility.

 

Not a dealbreaker, but I would prefer someone who’s been raised in the West for compatibility.

A little bit about me: 

I’m someone whose life is grounded in faith, purpose, and continuous self-improvement.  I strive to live with God-consciousness in my thoughts and actions, have good akhlaaq, and have both wordly and spiritual goals that give me purpose and motivation. I care a lot about all aspects of my health and have good lifestyle habits. 

I would describe myself as kind, curious, and adventurous. I enjoy going on runs and hikes and love to travel. I value spending meaningful time with family and friends. I also value lifelong learning, and am particularly interested in areas such as law, politics, and history, alongside my ongoing Islamic studies.

As a future partner, I would be communicative, self-aware, and emotionally intelligent, with a strong commitment to building a relationship and warm, loving home grounded in sakina, rahma and mawadda. I would strive to be supportive and encouraging of my partner’s goals, challenges, and personal growth, and to actively contribute to a relationship where both individuals are becoming the best versions of themselves, and build a strong sense of companionship.

Alongside this, I would like to share in the joys of life together, such as travel, new experiences, good food, and the simple pleasures of the dunya, while remaining grounded in our values and purpose.

Reach out if this sounds like you. JazakAllah.

Hi there! My name is Sauce. I’m from Minnesota. I’m looking to get married soon. Looking for someone to spend my life with. Female responses only,Preferably someone from the USA!

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم I'm looking for myself on behalf of my family.. Only serious people can contact with complete profile and pictures..

🔹 PERSONAL INFO:

▪️Male | 29 | Haripur, KPK ▪️Height: 4'3" Complexion: Fair ▪️Physique: Smart (good looking) ▪️Marital Status: Single (never married, never engaged) ▪️Disability: Harmonal - Growth Harmones Deficiency (Short Height)

🔹 EDUCATION:

▪️BBS from a reputable university

🔹 RELIGION & ETHNICITY:

▪️Religion: Muslim ▪️Religious Sect: Shia ▪️Cast: SYED (ASNAA Ashri) Kazmi ▪️Nationality: Pakistani ▪️Current Residence: Wah Cant. Dept. Hired ▪️ Hometown: Haripur Kpk ▪️Personality traits : Well mannered , Mature , Down to earth & carry himself very well.

• Job: Govt. Job
• Design: Assistant Accountant
• Job location: Islamabad 🔹 FAMILY DETAILS: ▪️Father: Unemployed ▪️Mother: Housewife ▪️About siblings: 1 Younger brother (doing job in Bank) 1 Younger sister (BS Zoology)

🔹 REQUIREMENTS:

▪️Marital Status : Single / Never married ▪️Caste : Preferably Syed ▪️Religion/Sect : Ehly Tashi ▪️Height: 4.6 to 5 ft Bcz of some biological reasons for the height of future childrens

I’ve been on and off Muzz for the past couple of years, and it genuinely blows my mind that the filters haven’t improved at all. If anything, they’ve somehow gotten worse.

Like, what is the point of giving us filters if the app is just going to ignore them?
I select Shia, I still get anything and everything under the sun.

I narrow it down by ethnicity, still get people completely outside what I selected.

I filter by location, suddenly I’m seeing profiles from random places nowhere near the area I chose.

And this isn’t an occasional profile slipping through. It happens constantly. At that point, why even have filters?

For an app that’s literally designed around helping people find a compatible spouse, you’d think basic search/filter functionality would be one of the things they’d actually prioritize. Truly terrible. Please fix the filters 😭 it also doesn’t help that there’s so few options on there…

How to deal with marriage pressure?
I’m in a kinda weird situation…
I wasn’t raised by my parents. I spent my first few years in a joint family, then I was raised by my uncle and later by my aunts. For the past 15 years, I guess, I’ve been raised by my aunts.
I’ve been earning since 2020 and I’m the sole earner in my aunts’ family. I’m financially independent. My relationship with my parents and siblings is mostly just me giving them financial favours or support so I don’t carry the burden of abandoning kinship. (I do my best not to intentionally do anything that might displease Allah.)
Now my aunts are under pressure regarding my marriage, and they want me to do it. The majority of my family is Sunni. My aunts believe in the love of Ahlulbayt, but they only recently started following Fiqh-e-Jafria after I decided to become a Shia Muslim following my period of atheism. They don’t know about that part, though.
Now they’re forcing me to consider a proposal from our family and marriage circle. According to them, the proposal is fine: he’s settled abroad, has the same family background and upbringing as us, has a good reputation in the family, and is self-made but he’s Sunni.
For them, it’s not a big deal because they think a woman can change these things.
The first issue is that I don’t want to marry a Sunni.
Even if he is Bill Gates ka bacha, I don’t want to marry a Sunni. I don’t believe in fixing people or becoming their teacher in deen.

The second issue is me…
I’m just a kinda weird person. I don’t think anyone around me can even explain what type of person I am. Being an INFJ, I avoid conflict and prefer not to get involved with anyone. To people, it just seems like I’m being nice.
I’ve never felt any need to have friends or an emotional support system. I can’t keep up with people. If you talk to me, I’m a polite person—unless you’re a man and we don’t have any professional relationship.
I do have good friends. I can do whatever is within my capacity to help them, but that doesn’t mean I miss them. If I meet them, though, you wouldn’t be able to tell that.
I’m the kind of person who doesn’t care much about what’s going on in other people’s lives. I have years-old friendships, and I can do anything if they ask for my help, but I can’t even tell you how many siblings they have.
If I put it this way, helping and caring about people is me being empathetic and having fear of Allah. It’s not about me wanting them in my life.
I lose interest in people instantly. For example, if I see you following a TikTok trend or posting something just to show off, I’ll consider you a “shapar”someone who just goes with the flow and doesn’t have any weight in their personality….
So, in short, I don’t like people. I don’t get that feeling that a particular person should always be around me. I’ve never felt that way in my life, and I know it’s not going to change. I forget that people even exist, and the worst part is that I don’t feel bad about it.
But marriage isn’t like that. People have a very fantasy-based view of marriage. I don’t have that weird soulmate kind of thing.

The third and worst part is that I’ve never seen a happy marriage in my life.
I’ve seen long marriages, but not good marriages. Even if the couple is good, they end up raising a generation that is doing everything other than remembering and trying to know Allah.
Then what is marriage for?
For me, if you’re not raising Allah-fearing and Allah-loving children, there’s no difference between your life and the life of a dog. Both do the same things: eat, sleep, reproduce, and leave the next generation to do the same. I’ve never seen the kind of marriage where both parents raise a generation with the same goal.

The fourth thing is: why do people marry?
Because they don’t want to fall into zina. But I can never be that person. If I haven’t gone near it in 26+ years, I’m not suddenly going to do it now.
I also don’t believe that if I say “I do,” I’ll automatically become his soulmate and fall in love. That’s weird to me.
I can support anyone if I believe their goal or cause is right and aligned with the Quran or Ahlulbayt. If it isn’t, I’ll be the first person to back off. I don’t care who you are or what relationship we have.
I’m also an empathetic person. I understand that people have different journeys towards deen because I’ve had my own journey. But most men aren’t that empathetic about other people’s religious journeys… and i hate this thing about people…

The fifth thing is that I’m afraid I’ll end up stuck in it because of family pressure.
If I don’t do it, my aunts will be blamed by everyone my parents, siblings, and extended family. I don’t want that for them. But because I’ve always been the obedient kid, they’re now getting on my nerves trying to make me agree to marriage.
The sixth thing is that I don’t want to live the life my elders lived.
I don’t want a traditional life. I want to learn everything space, computers, multiple languages, and whatever else fills me with wonder and makes me fall more in love with Allah.
Basically, He is the only one I fear losing. Other than that, I don’t care.
I’m not that rich right now, but I’ll eventually be able to afford the life I want. I’m just trying to make my family financially independent, and I’ll do something to make that happen.
So, should I talk to my aunts?
I already did, but their situation is weird too. Everyone will blame them, and they’re not as nonchalant about it as I am. I feel bad for them, and then my communication skills go down the drain.Being the obedient kid my whole life, I can’t just sit down and explain all of this to themmm. They’ve also done so much for me, especially when my own parents and siblings went their separate ways. So I feel obligated to protect them from all this family politics.

I can list down more reasons, but the whole situation is just weird.I’m asking here because, even though this group is about marriage, at least it has people around my age who share the same faith as me. It feels better than discussing this with my Sunni friends or my aunts, who simply don’t understand my perspective.

My friend put me on this and I made this account to see if I may find anything srs

About me I’m Iraqi Canadian moved out to Kuwait 3 years ago so I’m based in Kuwait
I’m 5ft tall
I’m divorced
I’m Shia ithna 3ashree
I graduated in pharmacy and currently working as a cosmetic surgeon
I’m hijabi and practicing

Im looking for a respectful and halal emotional connection with a man he has to be tall handsome respectful a leader that knows how to carry a conversation and a possible relationship
And strong

I want someone preferably Arab and preferably near by or willing to relocate
But preferably in the same area as me

Any dms with a “salam”and a “he” or “hi” I will
Not bothered to respond to

And thank you

salam!

20f in the US - NYC

currently at undergraduate senior studying psychology while working a part time job

ethnicity - senegalese 🇸🇳, open to all backgrounds

ideal age range - 20-25 years old

my biggest wants in a marriage in honest communication, effort, trust, compassion and vulnerability. i’m not asking for perfection. i am looking for consistency. someone who willing to show up if when the days are hard as i try to do the same.

What I’m looking for (non-negotiables)
Someone who prioritizes Allah and is grounded in their deen
Serious intentions toward marriage
Respectful, responsible, and stable in work and finances
Strong character and treats others with kindness
Values clear communication and accountability
Respects my choices, goals, and individuality

Dealbreakers

zina or any sort of adultery before and during marriage
lack of awareness or care about actions effect
racism or colorism of any sorts
lack of respect towards boundaries of any kind

only DM if you are serious

As much as this doesn’t matter to most people and isnt that important , I used to think I wanted to marry a Khaleeji (Saudi or Kuwaiti), but after realizing more about my personality, I feel like they might be too calm for me 😭 I feel like I’m too crazy and jealous and they’d probably find me weird, but most Lebanese guys I’ve gotten to know normalize that kind of intensity and honestly that’s what I want, for your information im iraqia myself

Salam everyone!

As a Shia Male looking to get married, I wanted to know out of curiosity - Is there any ruling or advice about disclosing previous temporary marriages when getting to know someone?

1. Would it be correct for a man to say "I've never been married before" when asked about it? Given that he has never been married before permanently & never been divorced, it is a half - truth I guess, but also not the complete truth.
2. And also a question more directed towards women: If a religious man - who has good characteristics & you felt very compatible with - mentioned that he had done mutah in the past to seek halal means of fulfilling his desires (or whatever reason, such as getting to know someone), would that be a dealbreaker or something you might question / think about?

From how I think of it, I see how a never married woman would prefer her first husband to also have never been married before, and I respect that preference.

But on the other hand, it is also an indication that the man sought a halal route instead of other "easier" options, and it could be a good indicator of his religiousness.

As-salamu alaykum.

Looking for an unmarried, practising Muslimah for a halal and lifelong marriage — Mumbai preferred
I’m looking for an unmarried, practising Muslimah, preferably 25 or younger, ideally from Mumbai, with the intention of a halal and lifelong marriage.

I value someone who is empathetic, modest, family-oriented, and committed to building a marriage based on love, trust, mutual respect, and Islamic values. Someone who sincerely values both Deen and Dunya, prioritises family, and is eager to grow together in faith and life.

There are no restrictions on further studies or a career. Independence, personal growth, and professional ambitions are encouraged and supported.

About me:
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Marital Status: Unmarried
Height: 6’1”
Weight: 72 kg
Education: Bachelor of Science
Occupation: Senior Executive in Digital Marketing at a reputed marketing agency in Mumbai
Work Experience: 4 years
Smoking/Drinking: Neither

Religion Details:
Religion: Islam

Feel free to DM me with a brief introduction about yourself.

Been on here before but had a lot of unserious ppl message me

I’m divorced and I do live in the uae

Testing my luck again and for the last time let’s see where this takes me

Please don’t message me with a “hi” message me a short introduction about ur self

Thank u

Has anyone here homeschooled their kids
How do you even begin to plan their curriculum?
or
How do you think you’re qualified enough to homeschool them?
What were some challenges that you faced during this process and how you overcame them?

What are some differences you’ve noticed in your(homeschooled) kids and others of the same year/age?

Guys I'm stuck in a pickle and I need your help. I liked this guy whom I actually never even met but have been online friends for a few years now.

I'm divorced and that time he was single. He lives with his mom and I was afraid to live with in-laws again post divorce since I wasn't healed yet so we went our seperate ways. We stopped taking but didn't remove each other from socials. In the mean time he married someone else. Now he reached out to me last year that he is getting divorced and just a few months ago it got finalized.

So he's the issue now- I genuinely wanted his marriage to work so all this time I had been reaching out to him to tell him that as a sister however over time I developed feels for him but she he was still legally married (seperated) I didn't say anything and just prayed to Allah that they get back together. However once he told me he is officially divorced I confessed that I started liking you more than I should.

Now issue is that he is shia and Im sunni. However through him I have learned who shias actually are and thats what drew me to him in the first place. I'm ready to convert.. but he has backed up now saying that through his mom he is taking to another girl and if things don't work out with her than he will come back to me.

What would you do in this situation? I really like him, never had any guy friends in my life but somehow got attached to him since we chatted daily (only about islam and his life problems). But I feel like he is only keeping me as an option. If I'm the one for him shouldn't it come easy.. do I stay as an option for him if things don't work out for the other girl? Not sure what exactly I should do and funny part is that I never even meet him in real lofe so it can all just be in my head.

Hello there!!! I (23M), Lebanese and really just into life(details for whoever wanna know privately), I wanted to ask sth and I was very hesitant about it but here it goes and I hope I don't get attacked. Is there any problem with looking into Mutaa marriage(marriage for a certain amount of time) here? or is there any groups that are specialized to these kind of things? Please whoever helps I appreciate it.

I’m 23m I tried this group for 2yrs nothing changed or find anything.