I miss skincare and hair care and my therapist
Hard boiled eggs, French baguette, and Trader Joe’s butter blend spread.
I know this is such a ridiculous first world problem to have, but here I go. I am doing a masters in Applied Math that I started in January after leaving my job that I despised with all my heart, and I’m living entirely off of federal student loans. I wasn’t making much before/$75k, and I live in one of the top 3 most expensive cities in the US. But even THEN, I had about $1500 more to live off per month than I do now. I absolutely know I could work at the same time as doing school and am being a baby about it, but I have severe anxiety and social anxiety and the thought of doing a likely customer-facing job like food service at the same time as school is deeply overwhelming to me, so I have chosen not to, at least for now. So I know and accept this situation is totally of my own making.
Nonetheless. I miss Sephora! ‘Twas a joy in my life. Now I get all my skincare and hair care products at CVS. Even CVS is not that cheap! My detangler is really itching my scalp, so I think I am going to have to pick a new one. I miss my Amika one. And my Unseen Sunscreen and Glow Recipe moisturizer.
More importantly, I miss my therapist. I have done very specialized treatment for my BPD for the last seven and a half years, and have made enormous progress to the point where we agreed I could make it 1.5 years without her and then go back when I have an income. She is $450/session, and is extremely firm about no sliding scale/exceptions. Some people think it’s unethical, but it doesn’t bother me THAT much. The only way I was able to see her while making $75k was my health insurance, which reimbursed 80%. Which was amazing!! My school health insurance of course comes nowhere near that.
Life without therapy had been going fine until recently, when things got very difficult with my boyfriend. Now on Tuesday I have an appointment with an in-network mental health counselor who just graduated in 2026. Will she specialize in BPD? No. Will she be better than using ChatGPT as my therapist? I am nearly positive. So at least there is that! Thank you for listening to my ridiculous rant!
Hard boiled eggs and French baguette with Trader Joe’s butter blend.
Edit: to add a missing word