r/GirlDinner

dinner: oreo ice cream sandwich😋

I (19f) met my friends cousin (28m) on a night out drinking. We all got quite drunk and one thing led to another and we made out… a lot. Forward to the next day and he ask my friend for my number and we start texting. Pretty shortly after we meet up and spend the day together. We’ve met up a few times now and it’s always been fun but, like the title says, i just can’t get over the age gap.

I’m 19 (turning 20 this year), i’m dropping out of college and starting an apprenticeship this september. I’m insecure, struggle with acne, all things typically 19. Hes 28, has a stable job, has an apartment, car,… is basically a fully established adult. It just feels like we’re on different levels in life, because well, we are!

My parents know there’s “a guy” and that he’s my friends cousin but they don’t know his age. I haven’t even really told my friends about him because I can’t get over the fact that he’s 8 years older than me. I’m usually very open and not one to keep secrets from my family and friends but this just feels like something i can’t talk about because it will raise eyebrows, rightfully so.

When I talk to him about it, that I can’t get over the age difference he always says that we always “think too much” and that there are “bigger things to worry about”. “It doesn’t have to be weird if we don’t make it weird”. Maybe I am being too rational about this but I just know, if I saw a 19 year old dating a 28 year old, I would be extremely weirded out.

Deep down I know I can’t confidently say “look this is the guy i’m seeing and he’s 28”. That’s not fair to me nor to him. He should have someone who isn’t going to be embarrassed to have him as a boyfriend. Also, if i’m being honest with myself, I don’t even really want a boyfriend no matter the age or whatever. I still feel like a child and want to live life and get to know myself and explore who and what I am. He’s already been through this phase. He tells me he hast been this “emotionally open” with someone in a long time which makes me feel bad for thinking of leaving him. In my gut I just know that I can’t and won’t start a real, official relationship with him because just no.

I guess I already answered for myself that I’m going to end this relationship. Now i’m asking for advice I suppose on how to let him down gently. Like I mentioned he is quite emotionally invested. If it weren’t my friend’s cousin (we’ve been friends for almost 15 years), it would be much easier. All kinds of advice and input would be appreciated.

Thank you!!!

yes, its that kind of appointment!

I have no idea how I feel. Not sure about the flair. I dont know if i want to tell my husband. The salad bar was out of most of the fresh stuff that makes a salad a salad, but I had already started filling up a bowl so I give you corn nut nacho feta salad. Forgot to buy a beverage.

I'll probably cry in the car. Not about the food.

Eating straight out of the pot because I live alone and I can do whatever the fuck I want.

(Garlic mushroom butter parmesan noods.)

I have no interest in men at this point in my life. I don't know if that will change but it's pretty damn peaceful so I'm enjoying it. It's the first time I can remember that I didn't have some man that I was crushing on, dating, fucking, or in love with.

It kinda feels like some sort of spell was broken and I stopped being obsessed with finding love. My life is all about me and my sweet little kitty and I feel so alive and free! I love this season of my life!

Gherkins, cheddar cheese, pickled peppers, tomato, chives and beef mince

⚠️If pregnancy/ abortion is a sensitive topic, some of my comments might be triggering.

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I thought I was just PMSing. My weight loss had come to a halt. Bloated. New acne. Depressed. Tired. Then my boobs grew overnight so I took a test just to “ease my mind”. I was sure there was no way. Well, this whole thought process had been me putting my clown makeup on. 2 strands. Another test. Another 2 strands.

When my boyfriend asked me what I was thinking, my first comment was “I’m obviously returning that mf to sender”. I’m childfree through and through. We’ve had this conversation before. I might be only 25, but I know what I want.

So tell me why we’ve spent the last 4 hours talking about “if you change your mind in the future…” Baby, no. No kids, ever.

He has been very supportive of my decision to terminate the pregnancy. It is also his first time experiencing such a thing, and I guess it brought up some new and unexpected feelings. I asked him “what if I never change my mind?” And he said “then it’ll still be okay, It’s just that I’ve now realized I would love to have a child that looks like you. But it’s not a must especially if it makes you unhappy.”

I’m scheduling the procedure tomorrow. I don’t know what to expect. Kinda scared. Is it normal that I feel absolutely nothing about having a baby in my belly? I don’t even have doubts.

I’ll be checking on the bf about the whole childfree couple thing regularly, though. Something tells me that he has changed his stance and can’t admit it yet.

Pic: homemade applesauce

First off, I’m really grateful I found this sub because reading everyone’s posts genuinely makes me feel less alone.

About 2 years ago, I moved away from my home state to be with my boyfriend. We actually grew up together as kids, went our separate ways for a while, and somehow found our way back to each other later in life. He truly is one of the best humans I know, and I love the life we’re building together.

But moving meant leaving behind my family, friends, and basically my entire support system.

Now I work from home, and while I’m thankful for the flexibility, it’s also made my boyfriend my ONLY real day-to-day social interaction/support system. And that’s been… hard.

I miss having girlfriends. I miss random dinners, texting someone dumb memes, having people to vent to, grabbing coffee, all of it. I’ve tried Bumble BFF and honestly it’s felt like a dead end. I keep thinking maybe I should try harder or put myself out there more, but between work, life, and anxiety around it, it just feels impossible sometimes.

Why is making friends as an adult so ridiculously hard?

Anyway… Dinner tonight: marshmallow Fruity Pebbles.

I'm not pregnant...but my body thinks it is...I've been through this before...this is my SECOND round of pseudocyesis (false pregnancy) the first time was about 16 months ago and I got up to the equivalent of 5 months of pregnancy before my GP put me on a higher dose of antidepressants that helped stop the process...my uterus expanded (with no foetus inside obviously) I had all the symptoms of pregnancy, first trimester was a BITCH!!! I had morning sickness every morning on the dot at 3am like fucking CLOCKWORK I shit you not! Literally every single morning for around 7 weeks I had violent morning sickness every single morning at exactly 3am, weird cravings, foetal movement sensations the whole 9 yards...minus the actual life growing inside me...this all stems from my immense fear of becoming pregnant and my adversity to becoming a mother...I decided when I was 8 years old that I didn't want to have kids...I am on 2 forms of birth control the Mirena/IUD and I have the Implanon/rod in my left arm as well...that didn't stop my first ghost baby and it hasn't stopped the second 😂 my partner and I affectionately named our first Pedro 😂 we're trying to come up with female names for number 2 😂 if any of you fellow girlies have any suggestions I'm more than open to them...the funnier or more Iconic! The better! 😂 Or if any of you have had more than one round of false pregnancy or have also had it before what was it like for you? I'm curious to know everyone else's experiences as the medical field and medical anomalies have always fascinated me! And obviously advice would be great too!

The cravings are annoying as hell hence this weird throw together for my lunch! 😂 Today we have air fried potato chips (or chunky fries for our American friends) an unhealthy dose of dill pickle dip, chopped up mild salami and light shredded cheese zapped in the microwave till all the cheese melted...pretty tasty and definitely hitting those cravings!

Former fwb of mine has been hitting me up again lately, last time we stopped talking it was because I was dealing with a literal crippling injury (sciatica so compressed I couldn’t dress myself) and my late cat getting very sick and crossing the rainbow bridge.

I thought I was being unfair in my decision to not hit him up anymore before so I tried hanging out with him again w/o sex and I immediately remembered why I don’t like this guy anymore.

He’s pushy, so self centered he can’t go passed a “sorry Charlie” (word for word) when I’m dealing with my stuff, he offered no help during my back injury when I really needed it.
But he starts dealing with something hard and he starts hitting me up again practically every day calling me hot stuff, pushing to hang out same day, and just only talking about himself when I do.

Hanging out and the activities that followed were fun at the time, but he’s so insufferable to me lately I just want to block him, but feels like I owe him an explanation why I don’t wanna hang out anymore

Girl dinner contents include cherries, Brie and blackberry spread, mini waffles, fontina and string cheese, and French bread

Ground chicken fajita high protein bowl.

My ex and I dated for four years. He used to emotionally and occasionally physically cheat on me and then gaslight me into believing that I was wrong for even questioning him for it. During that time my self esteem was low af, like it was in hell, and I used behaved exactly like someone who was young (22-26) and very insecure. He eventually broke up with me and we have been no contact. That was 4 years ago. I have moved on, sought therapy, and enjoyed my life since.

He started dating his current gf 3 month after he broke up with me and she has been quietly stalking my socials ever since they got together, 4 years ago. But recently the creeping has ramped up. She has even sent me a friend request from her finsta. I personally don’t care, as it lowkey makes me laugh inside. But at the same time I feel really sad for her because she’s doing the exact same things I used to do to all the women he used to cheat on me with. It makes believe he’s doing to her what he did to me, and I know it’s none of my concern what happens in their relationship, but I do feel for her because no woman or anyone really should have to deal with that in their relationship(s).

Edit: some of y’all have provided thoughtful pov’s. I didn’t accept her friend request, but I accepted her message request. I’ll hear her out, but unless her safety is at risk, I don’t see myself really doing any follow ups with her. I appreciate all the input thus far!

Oh how mighty is she (I so geeked for this)

Management forced my hand yesterday and I resigned as manager of my team. I’d told them I would step down if they took away my admin time, and three hours later they sent me an EMAIL saying that was the plan. Called their bluff! Still going to stay full time but not in a leadership position. I cried all day and my eyes are still sore and I’m dehydrated from the tears. Healthcare sucks, folks. Trader Joe’s poblano and potato tacos w guac and hot sauce.

This & novelas

Hot dogs and fries for dinner. 🍽️

WARNING: Long dump

So I don’t even know where to start lol.

2016 I fell in love with a man at my college. We will call him Brad. He was to me, this short unattractive individual who had a crush on me. We were in the same class and he kept staring at me. I personally thought he was this stuck up little boy who thought he was the shit. Well that’s how he carried himself.

As time went by I just basically ignored him and thought nothing of it. Well to my surprise the whole damn school practically wanted us to be together. And I mean THE WHOLE SCHOOL. Mind you, we went to a very very small art school in a very small town. After awhile random people would come to me and tell me how Brad had a crush on me and I would be like hahaha I know but I’m just not interested.

1 day one of my very very close friends and I was having a smoking session. Listening to music and he said “you should really give Brad a chance. He really likes you and you guys have so much in common. I truly believe you two could be happy together.” And that’s where I really started to think about him.

When I finally did give him a chance my life changed forever. The moment I felt his lips touch mine, my whole world changed and all I saw was him. All I wanted was him.

However, after about 6 months together our school basically shut down, which caused me and him to forcibly separate. We didn’t last that separation.

From the moment I fell in love with him to this very moment that I type this I have loved him. I have wanted him. Cared for him. Cried for him. My heart never healed.

Within maybe 3 years, we tried to be friends but didn’t work out. He ended up deleting me out of his life because we just weren’t getting along. I tried my hardest to move on but every person I dated I just ended up comparing to him.

Maybe 2021 I found out that he ended up getting married. That shit really broke me because damn. You know? He really got down on 1 knee for someone that wasn’t me. But whenever I did find out I reached out to him and told him congratulations and I hoped nothing but the best for him. But to my surprise he told me was getting a divorce 😱

lol like what are the odds? A head scratcher that’s for sure.

I didn’t push anything though. I offered him a friendship and it went from there. As these years went by i just kept my distance and allowed him to go through whatever he had to go through.

In 2024 I would say our simple friendship started becoming more flirtatious. We started getting to know each other again. He would come to me for different things and I was there for him. He would hint at me visiting but never actually made plans. 2025 is when things started getting really intense between us to the point where I think feelings started getting involved. He started calling me and making me feel like the most special girl in the world.
He told me he wanted to see me and could take it anymore so we planned it. He paid for everything and it’s all set.

-

Now here is the stuff that’s really weighing on my mind and heart. Like wtf is actually wrong with me? lol why did I do this? We are now having very intense emotional conversations about our lives and our boundaries, our sex life, and traumas. And the more we talk the more I feel like this is was a huge mistake.

At the end of the day this man GOT A DIVORCE. Not just random break up. He found someone who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, idk how I randomly came into that narrative. He has tried to reassure me but he also brings up the things that hurt him and triggers him about her. He is very emotionally intelligent and he acknowledges that his feelings are purely based on trauma and have nothing to do with me but I can’t help think that there was no point to this.

He tells me how excited he is to see me. How he wants to work on a future with me and finally have the life that we wanted together but I just can’t shake the feeling that this man is just lonely. He said that since the divorce he hasn’t been able to really have sex, let alone talk to other women. He’s insecure. He’s not the same man I fell in love with but I mean how could he be. We were kids.

I’m trying to hold space for who he is now but all I see is this lonely man who needs that closeness again. However, when I talk to my friends and share our texts and conversations they tell me that these are all green flags. That he’s emotionally aware and still wants time with me.

I just can’t allow myself to open up. While he was falling in love with someone else I was crying and begging god to bring him back. And I have so much resentment towards him for marrying some random woman. Idk if it’s because of him or just the jealousy that he actually got to experience the one thing I’ve been wanting for years. I have resentment towards the ex wife for messing up this man to the point where now he is struggling to love himself. AND I have resentment that he still has pain when it comes to her.

While he was mourning her, I was mourning him. I have been living in this fantasy of hope that we are still somehow meant to be. But the veil is slowly lifting and now I’m stuck. I don’t think he really wants me to he just remembers and always known that I loved him. I truly loved him and I think he wants to just recreate that safe space. I do not trust that he truly has feelings for me now. Like how is ghat even possible?

My love will never be enough
At the end of the day this shit isn’t gonna matter.
I forgot to tell yall that I’m only going to see him for 3 days. 3 days after 10 whole years is CRAZY. Idk what I was thinking lol.

But anyway yeah guys. Idk what I need right now. Idk how to feel right now. Airbnb is bought. Plane tickets bought. Clothes bought. He’s planned this entire thing out.

Ps I know the story is a little vague, I just didn’t wanna write a whole book. If you have any questions please ask

Ps PLEASE do not be mean to me. Hold my hand with whatever you say. I’m just a girl who had the opportunity to see the love of her life and now the logic is finally setting in.

Send hugs 🫂

Tomato onion egg stir fry with rice (not much tomato compared to egg)
Pink salt for cucumbers

Edit* It’s not diabetes breath, it doesn’t happen persistently and it’s not strong like nail polish remover or fermented fruit. And he’s healthy overall, it’s most likely bc he has a healthy oral microbiome.

I work in a school and pick up a cold 1-3 times per year. Somehow, it always coincides with the beginning of my period. Trying to sleep with a stuffy nose and cramps is the worst 😭

There is that running joke about men acting like they’re dying when they have a cold; I can’t imagine if they had to deal with a cold and a period simultaneously.

Herring, sauerkraut, beets, broccoli sprouts, lemon dill hummus, and almond flour crackers. I’d be skeptical of this plate too, but I’m trying to maximize nutrients to get through this faster 🌸

and they are delicious!!! i have a 2nd tin and i think i will eat that later too. PLS PLS PLS any recommendations send them to me i would love to try a bunch of different types. i have always loved tiny fish. ps i think i have had spinach and mushrooms every day for like a week and i will continue to do so until i run out (edited to add: mushrooms + spinach, toast w bitter marmalade, cucumber w sriracha + chili flakes, goldfish, pickles, bela sardines w piri-piri)

as title says!! i (hopefully) had my final exam today!! im f24 and have been working on a higher level (dutch system) highschool degree for 5 years because i was only able to take 2 classes a year so ive been collecting certificates and in June ill have a whole diploma finally!!!!!!!!

food pictured in bed:
brie
camembert
saint paulin
aged goat cheese
dates
carrot
apple
cucumber
cherry tomatoes
strawberry
blueberry jam for the goatcheese
crackers obvs
salt n vinegar crisps

Cucumbers
Carrots
Chia peering w cherries and strawberries
Tofu nuggies
Eggs