Help with Sex Life
First, throwaway just to be safe in case my wife was to look at Reddit randomly.
We’ve been together for 12 years, married for 5 years. College sweethearts, we’ve both dated other people before we met each other but I definitely have the more experience out of us.
I was her first and she was my third. When we started dating freshman year in college, we used to have sex 2-3x a week and couldn’t get our hands off of each other.
Ever since sophomore year of college, it’s always been a struggle with sex for us. Either physical issues that prevented her from having sex, lack of time, not being in the mood, wanting this to be completed before she could have sex, etc.
It almost feels like she has to have everything perfect to even consider sex… meanwhile, like most guys, I’m game whenever. I do understand that she might need something else compared to guys though.
We will go through months sometimes without having sex. Usually it’s once/month or every other month. We will talk it out, get into a rhythm of once/week, then something comes up and throws the entire thing out of wack again.
I’ve always worked a pretty demanding job since college and she recently took a new promotion where she will be working a lot more hours - which has me concerned that it’ll be used as an excuse.
This is really the only thing we struggle with in our marriage - we don’t fight about money, each others family, etc. She tells me she needs “me to romance her” but I’m sorta at the point that I don’t believe it’ll even matter.
What are your thoughts on this? Feels like the universe is against us having sex lol
TL;DR - wife and I struggle with sex even while we are still young and have been for a long time. We both are aware of the issue, fix it, and then it goes off the rails again. I get told that I need to romance her more but I’m starting to feel like it won’t even help the situation. Feels like the universe is against us having sex lol