u/AdQuirky1318

TLDR; worried the OCIA coordinator thinks I'm looking for a female deity

I'm a lifelong mainline protestant (mostly ELCA Lutheran and Episcopalian) who has inexplicably been feeling called to the Catholic church over the past 9 months or so. I know he's somewhat frowned upon here, but what ignited it all was actually finding a copy of "Centered: The Spirituality of Word on Fire" by Bishop Robert Barron at the library and really being inspired by it.

I was especially taken by the sections on Mary and Marian devotion because (especially as a woman and a mother), they really just struck me right in the heart. I realized that growing up in fairly liberal protestant churches--even ones with female pastors/priests/deacons--I had never been satisfied with the overwhelming "maleness" of the language, the respected saints (the Apostles only, basically), even the somber architecture and limited iconography. Sure, in recent years some of these churches started testing out referring to the Holy Spirit in she/her terms, and a very loosey-goosey UCC church I went to for a while prays to Father-Mother God (but that reminds me of Unitarians too much lol).

At any rate, discovering the role of Mary and her intercession for us, the respect and veneration shown to her, the incredible tenderness with which she is written about...it was just mind blowing. And not in a female deity way (which I know Catholics get accused of), but in this like essential missing component of a greater whole. One I didn't even realize I was missing.

I had this feeling that Mary had been stolen from me all these years, and that she was trying to lead me more closely to her Son now that my heart was open.

Ok, so to my main point: after attending Mass at my nearby parish for the last 6 weeks or so, I turned up to an Inquirer's session last night and was the only inquirer there, which was actually really cool because I got to have a great conversation with the OCIA coordinator who was a very nice and smart man in his 70s who converted from an Evangelical background in his 60s. We were talking about the different things that bring people towards conversion and I started talking about this all. But when I said that growing up I always (as a female) felt that there was a feminine element missing that kept me from fully connecting, I feel like his facial expression changed a bit. I tried to backtrack and assure him that I didn't mean a female God or anything, just that protestants basically never talk about Mary apart from Advent, and then it's only in relation to her obedience to God. He recovered and treated me with a lot of grace and mentioned his daughter's devotion to Mary, and we moved on from there. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I had said something wrong. Maybe as an old man he's just never considered the lived experience of being a woman trying to feel seen within pretty patriarchal religious traditions? I don't know. Should I keep these feelings to myself in the future? Are they blasphemous?

Just something I was pondering. For those of us still ovulating and cycling in peri, it sounds like a cycle of 200 mg oral micronized progesterone is usually the favored course (if using estrogen and still retaining a uterus), or daily 100 mg. And if you’re intolerant to the progesterone, then you can use a daily mini pill (aka Slynd or norethindrone) or levonorgestrel iud. But those options all theoretically stop ovulation, which may not be desired at this stage.

So why can’t someone theoretically use a synthetic progestin mini pill during the luteal phase only? They are more strongly progestational than OMP. If you don’t need the calming or sedating effects of OMP, it seems like it should work to protect your uterus while still allowing you to ovulate. Am I crazy lol?