Working full time from home as a new dad is draining my soul.
So, here is the scenario: I am a full time working dad of a 4 months old baby which I deeply love but I am feeling horribly.
My GF is still in maternity leave, and I know how tiring is to take care of the baby 24/7, which is why anytime I have a break I take the baby so she can have some relief but the point is that this way, I never have a real break because I am all the time either working, taking care of the baby or cooking or doing some stuff at home.
When the day is finally over, and I finally get to bed, I can't have more than 3 hours of sleep without being interrupted by the baby screaming which is exausting on the long run.
I recently built a PC and I realised that playing 1-2 hours before going to bed (when the baby is sleeping) really calms me down and helps me feeling better, but now I have my GF complaining about the fact that I am neglecting my role as a partner. I tried to explain to her that it helps me mentally but it quickly turned into an argument as she struggles to get that as she sees it as something really silly and selfish (while spending time in front of Netflix in the evening seems to be acceptable for her). I am also realising that there are really few things that we enjoy doing together.
At the same time I am feeling guilty for finding relief in something that literally keeps me away from my role as a dad and partner and I also feel quite demotivated because since the baby came I know I am underperforming at work as well.
I am feeling like I am failing on all the fronts and I really want to avoid a burnout as I am starting to feel angry all the time.
Is it normal to feel this way? Is there a way out at a certain point?
BTW, we're both expats so the grandparents are abroad and not an option for support.